Please read to the end--there is a question at the end which I would greatly appreciate feedback on. Thx.
Hello. I have a diagnosis of ADD primarily Inattentive type, comorbid with dysthemic depression.
I have undergone treatment for depression for eight years, and been through every antidepressant in the book. Finally, a year ago, I saw someone who was a Ph.D. in psychology, a licensed clinical therapist, and a specialist in learning disorders. His assessment was that I've struggled with ADD my entire life, and that the repeated obstacles I've come up against have continued to lead back to depression. After much reasearch on the topic, I am quite sure that I have ADD through the roof.
Despite not being "hyperactive", I am somewhat of a spaz, as I am particularly accident prone. This includes numerous automobile accidents, domestic accidents, and just doing dangerous flaky things like leaving the burner on on the stove. I also have left a trail of terror on my credit record, have bounced around throught dozens of jobs like a pinball, and have left a program of law study at an Ivy League university unfinished.
At any rate, I have known about my ADD for a year. Furthermore I have been in psychodynamic psychotherapy for some time, and have been repeatedly told by my therapist that I am self-handicapping and punishing myself because I think I am undeserving, whenever I leave my headlights on, arrive someplace late, fail to acheive any kind of financial security, etc. This drives me *ing nuts. I think I'm a GREAT GUY. Heck yes I deserve a "normal" (read, "stable," or "manageable") life, and I certainly don't think I deserve the punishment that results from all of these absentminded blunders.
I have been taking two antidepressants along with Strattera for eight months or so. The Strattera is clearly not working, and, as has always been the case with a new A-D, the antidepressants worked a little for a while, but I was still unable to overcome any new barriers, and now the bloom is off the rose, so to speak.
Thank the Lord I have finally found a therapist WHO HAS ADHD!!! Yippee! In our first meeting, I brought in the results of a battery of testing that I underwent in fifth grade. The psychologists determined at the time that I had a "Learning Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified", which I now think translates as "we don't know too much about ADD, and since this kid isn't "hyper",..." The therapist looked at my intelligence scores and said "Jesus you're smart!" (I like her already!:=)
AT ANY rate, she has strongly suggested I try a stimulant med., which has been my inclination after reading many personal stories on these kinds of forums. She is very proactive, and called my psych. to see if I could start on one immediately, but the psych preferred I wait for our appointment (8 days) for her to dispense a controlled med.
I am very hopeful about this. I have somewhat managed my ADD for years through vigorous physical excercise (which has usually helped to sharpen my mind if done first thing in the morning, although it's like dragging myself into a cold shower). Lately, I have been unable to excercise because I injured my shin playing football, and have a hematoma, which is about as disabling as a broken leg. As a result, my ADD has been OFF the CHARTS, and I've felt like I've been in "la la land" (daydreaming, in my head, very difficult to focus on detailed tasks) for half the day.
Anywhoo, not that I have much of a point, but, my question is this (to anyone else who has experienced depression w/ ADHD before getting treatment):
Is it okay to get my hopes up about stimulant medication? I've just read so many success stories. If you had depression, did it abate more consistently once the ADD was properly addressed? I'm hoping it will at least help my sleep cycle coincide with everyone else's, something I've only been able to acheive in the past through regular 6am workouts. I'd love some feedback. Thanks!!
Hi,