burdens on "friends" | ADHD Information

Sonya...do you know how fortunate you are that your best friend is your husband? And another ADHDer...how perfect. Not many people are as lucky as you. And since "they" say you're lucky if you can count your friends on one hand, why not it be the person you share your life with.

I know it's nice to have a friend, too, someone to talk about things you may not want to share with your husband. But at least you have US! Any time, sweetie! We're/I'm all ears.
Sonya...You must remember that you're older and wiser now. Even tho you're ADHD, you know it now. And you know the downside of it. So if you strike up a new friendship, you'll probably be more aware of what not to do. (Especially if you're on meds now ??) Or, better yet, meet a friend who understands your ADHD, and accepts you for the stuff that drives our friends crazy.

I also am a "high-maintenance" friend, and the one's I still have feel I'm worth it.

I'm so sorry your old "friend" didn't at least call you when in town.     GypsyWomyn38416.5264699074

My best friend in the world, the only one who understands me now, is my husband, who also has ad/hd.  It's very difficult for me to make friends, and I can't really pinpoint how to go about the process.  It is very difficult for me....

I just kinda talk to people, have a conversation about the weather, or some other easy-to-discuss-subject, and that's the end of it.

 

Have you guys ever had a friend, you know, maybe in your school years, and you really cared about that friend and leaned on that one friend, and then eventually came to the realization that you were more of a burden to that friend than you ever realized?

Like, my "best friend": I thought we were so close... we started our very first day of kindergarden together, and i always thought we would be in each other's weddings as maids of honors, and then as I became an adult, I slowly began to look back on our "friendship" and realize that I may have been leaning on her too much  because she was the one "friend" had.  And I also began to realize that, by some of her actions, that I cared about her FAR MORE than she cared about me, and that I was one of those friends who was really more of an aggrivation to her and she more or less just "put up" with me, rather than was my friend...

Then, I am forced to look at the fact that I without realizing it, I was probably a high maintenance friend, I probably was more self centered than I realized I was and I had a LOT of untreated ad/hd symptoms....My parents did not believe in "medication" so they never took me even to get a diagnosis for ad/hd, although they knew I had it.  They just convinced me as a teenager that I could be "normal" if I just tried hard enough...My parents raised me to believe I was normal and that all of my little problems and issues had nothing to do with adhd and that I was just not trying hard enough; hence I thought I was a "normal" friend...

Recently, after not being in my best friends wedding, and watching her come down from far up north after several months with her new husband to visit her family and never even bothering to call me to let me know she is in town, I have been forced to realize that I was far from a "normal" friend, and this is keeping me from making new friends...