luv2farmnd - I have been reading this forum but never responded. But when I read your post I had to. I think it is great you went back to school, it is a big leap when you have a family and more distractions. I feel going back as an adult you really want to learn and are now doing it for nobody else but you. Stay with the school. I'm so happy for you that is has been a good experience.
I am 32, with three children under the age of 9. I like you, struggled in high school, I did enough to get by, my interest and goals were in athletics and art, hands on stuff. I did great in all of my art classes, but was miserable in English, History or anything that required me to concentrate on reading. I went to college for athletics, and completed 2 years. The summer before my junior year I stopped the athletics, after the fourth knee surgery. I still attended classes the first semester of my junior year. I was lost, I was failing all my classes, I couldn't focus enough to really function. Maybe mild depression, I was diagnosed with tension headaches that were incapacitating. Sorry for rambling. I dropped all of my classes the absolute last day possible. I can't explain it any other way but feeling like a weight was literally lifted from me. Twelve plus years, a wonderful husband, three children, a house, 2 dogs, and one cat later I have returned to school.
I am taking online classes and have just finished my first week. I was concerned with being able to concentrate and that prompted me to see my doctor about ADD. I saw him yesterday and he prescribed me Adderall. I am thrilled that their is light at the end of the tunnel. School is still challenging. The trick that has worked for me and reading is breaking it down into small pieces. If I try to read an entire chapter I might as well be drinking a margarita while doing it. I literally take one paragraph at a time. I read it write any definitions and then try to explain what I read with out looking. I write my own summary of every section. Granted this had taken me longer, but it becomes manageable, I remember and then I'm not frustrated.
I love reading these posts, it makes me realize, I'm not really crazy, well maybe some of the time. I love to create and my husband has been extremely supportive and encourages my sewing, photgraphy, stained glass etc. He has even overlooks my sons room I half painted. I tried to clouds on the ceiling to start an airplane themed room. (My husband is a Crew Chief on F-16 fighter jets.) The clouds looked funny so I decided to think about how to improve, here I am a year later and still thinking. I have a quilt I started 2 years ago for my mother in law. I did all the hard challenging parts, designing, measuring, fabric selelction, sewing together, hand sewed the binding, machine quilted 90% of it. It is that last 10% I can't seem to finish. It is nicely folded in my living room where I can see it as a reminder. My sewing machine has been in my kitchen for 6 months in hopes of my tripping over it as a reminder. They haven't worked. It is to the point these unfinished projects are becoming out of hand and I really want to finish them. I can see the stress in my husband when he asks, When are you going to finish painting the railing? Do you think you could finish staining the ladder for the bunk bed. Are you going to put the curtains rods back on the windows? Did you finish sewing my buttons on my pants? The list goes on and one. When I do finish something, which is rare. I feel like I ran a marathon, I couldn't make it down my street.
Wow, did this get long. So sorry, it's like a dam opened up. To find people who know what you are going through, instead of getting the normal, "I forget things all the time, maybe I'm ADHD". Those of you know it is more than that.
I'll try to keep the next post small, but no promises. :)
I just realized, I did not only go to college for athletics. I wanted a degree in Computer Graphics.Evening Bierce9800---
You mention about going to college, what would you like to go for or what have you been going for I should say??
The reason I ask is that Im 44 and I decided to go to college to do something for myself after raising our 4 sons on our family farming operation here and 3 of them are out of highschool and 2 of them have graduated from a 2 year tech college and have moved back to our farm area and work on our family farming operation in there skill areas that they graduted with,and one left at home here still and is a junior this year so next year he will graduate.
I have never attended college at all because when I grew up I struggled all thru school years all 12 of them and it just wasnt anything I dont think that my parents have ever thought about so I always had D and F's in school. Now I want to do good so this is why I decided to just go to all the major testing on ADHD, whatever I needed to see why I struggle soo much with college...
I just cant focus, when Im reading just cant remember what I read, concentrating in the classroom and when it comes time to take a test all depending on class then I can study for a month and still not do very well on it.. just has been fusterating all thru my highschool years I really remember...
For college, my husband thought that we should do the student loan so I have a FAFSA for that and I have alot of ONLINE college classes that I take also and I just love this way, you dont have to leave your house, you can do it any time of the day or late night... works great.. I sure wish that someone would of told me more about online when our 4 sons were younger I would of taken a few courses here and there.... but now I have accomplished alot in the past year and this year...
Im going for Elementary Education with Middle School Endorsement, Reading Title 1, Title 1 Math... I just want to sub in the small rural areas of our community. I dont need to work as I have always worked here on our farm driving tractors, trucks, semis, feeding cattle and more but I just wanted to do something for myself. I need a goal in my life to see if I can meet it and I only have 1 1/2 years left of college and my goal is here.. I plan on working on the farm in the summer and then during the winter just subbing for teachers... I enjoy people also and kids..
Last year I had completed 54 credits and they were all online... Never stepped a foot onto a campus until this past fall..
This past fall I took 29 credits and 2 were correspondant, 12 were online and the rest were at the college.. This semester now I have 2 classes on campus so I have to drive everyday for just one class a day each morning and my drive is 35 miles one way and my class is 40 minutes long to sit thru then I drive back home another 35 miles so alot of driving but it works out.. Then I have 6 classes online.. so another very full load but instead of 4 years I will be done earlier...
Just thought online could be something to check into since you have younger children... or maybe you already....
DJT
After rereading my post, I didn't mean to make it sound like I do nothing all day! I am involved in lots of things, I am a Sunday School teacher, I am on my church's consistory (church gov't) I was very active in our county Relay for Life until this year, but now my fundraising is just for being on the committee to raise funds to get a new organ for our church. I help out at my son's school, and until this last OCT I took care of my grandmother, who had been my best friend. She died though OCT 20, while I was sitting with her. And I would have gone back to college this quarter had the money been there, and if my husband hadn't switched shifts! We don't have a babysitter either so most of my time is spent with my boys. (except when they are at school and youngest gets out at 11:30) I am often trying to learn new things to help my ADHD child and myself.
My husband won't sit down to read an entire book, I have combed our public library looking for something nice and short for him but haven't came up with anything yet. I don't want him to come to this site because he doesn't feel I should share personal things. He would consider this too much information! So he would know what I say. Any other thoughts??? Is there another website, close to being as good as this one? Obviously there aren't any As GOOD!
Perhaps they could even start a new forum here, for spouse support! To go along with the Adult ADD one. There are several different ones for chilren and parents. How could that happen?
For understanding ADDand for support I myself use this website for both my husband and child. Have your husband read books on ADD that is where i started before coming to this forum. It is funny I originally started researching for my 5 year old and ended up diagnosing my husband and brought it to his attention for the possibilities and boy did the admissions come out. My husband now is registered on this website now as LSD4165. He also plans to see our doctor soon to discuss difficulties.
Prior to my research and reading i always felt he was lazy and we had gotten into many of fights over the years, now I am just understanding. Love.
Is it possible he feels that you use your diagnosis as a shield? Perhaps he does not think that you do not try hard enough to better yourself, and make cooping strategies?
I try to get an understanding why I am the way I am, and try to understand the sickness itself... I feel that I have archived this somewhat, and I believe that I have been able to analyze and identify certain behavioral patterns with that knowledge.
Are you having these thoughts? Are you trying to better yourself?
Taag Man38417.5648842593Hi everyone, I love everyones posts that express how I feel ,and explain, why I feel the way I do. This morning after reading about the messy house I had my husband, (Roger wonderful hubby of 8 1/2 years), read it. I said see! It's not just that I am being lazy! First, after he read my post (ooops should have let him read first, THEN post!) he yelled at me, You don't have to tell them all that! Then said, "yes, but it still doesn't make sense, you can have a job and drive a car, if you have focusing problems, and problems completing tasks, how can you do those things?" (I didn't tell him, my driving problems of, wow, did I drive here? I don't remember!) But 1. I work for 3-4 hours 1-2 days a week, in a VERY busy restaurant that is only open the 1-2 days. (It's an Elks) I am in charge of the servers and dishwashers and for that little of time I'm so busy that it isn't a problem. 2. I tried a sit down job, at the phone company, but could NOT handle sitting 8 hours a day 5 days a week. 3. And as long as someone is in the car with me, and talking or singing to the radio I have no problems driving!
I guess what I am wondering is......Are there any books available for spouses of the ADHDer? Any type of support system for them? I know some spouses come here, but I don't want to give him the site name and address because I want to feel free to post here and it would just piss him off probably ANYTHING I say. He is so understanding and supporting of our son, I just don't get why he isn't with me??? April