please...any input would help. i am losing my mind. i am bored out
of my skull in this lifestyle. offing myself seems like it would be a
relief. not that i will, but i see why it happens. please help. my soul
is dying------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ --
OK RICK BORG, YOU'VE GOT MY ATTENTION. I understand how you feel to a point, I too have often felt I was loosing my mind. But you even suggesting "offing yourself" is a serious red flag. I'm no expert, but i have family members who have said this, counselors told me that if you are to a point where you can say this, then you've put enough thought into it, you my friend are in a very dangerous place. I can only say PLEASE SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP ASAP!!!!
I know what it feels like to be lonely, like you just don't or can't fit in. I often get to a point where i don't even want to get up for any reason, to do the same things, I feel like i have to be fake, or pretend to be someone else just to blend in. if thats the case then why bother? right???? WRONG!!! It's our differences that make us special, and being bored out of your mind, i can probably assure you that almost everyone has felt like this at the very least once in their lives. i myself find very often I'm bored because my mind is racing, and i can't slow it down enough to focus on doing something i like, my Hobie, or escape from feeling like this is for now this site, I've learned more about myself since i found these post, and it keeps me focused on something , aside from my frustration, and anxiety.
I haven't been diagnosed with add or adhd, but the more i read the symptoms, and experiences other people have had, the more convinced i am that i most likely have it as well. my son has adhd, he also has trouble trying to fit in, i told him not to feel like an outsider, or less than other people just because he's different. he's just a cute puppy trying to fit in with a pack of wolves. i can tell you that henry can not function without medication, and i was worried that he would be drugged, foggy, or distant, but i was sadly mistaken, he can focus, and actually finish a sentence without changing the subject. although we are going through another rough patch right now he's doing much better with the medication. ------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------ never medicated. i feel rather than change my
chemical makeup, why not change my life to cater to my own needs.
seems logical no? so i want to sell all my belongings, and by a
motorcycle and drive. drive around the USA, Mexico,Canada etc. if i
die, then i don't need to worry about a retirement fund-------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ -------
now it is your choice whether or not to medicate, i would like to suggest you read some of the post in parents of children with add/adhd. maybe changing your chemical makeup is what your body and mind is craving, and thats why you feel like your loosing it. medication may help you FIND IT again. if our brains are supposed to have certain amounts of whatever it is/ then of course it won't function correctly without them It would be like trying to drive a car without a steering wheel, or no gas. i don't think it would be "medicating yourself into a haze" but more like out of one, you could still have adventure and stimuli only with a balance of function. doesn't sound too bad does it? and the world is not "Theirs" THEY are the people who don't understand and stereo type, and no better or worse of than anyone else. you wouldn't be becoming "them" you might just find that the medication helps you feel, and function like the person you long to be, the person you have always known was deep inside you just waiting to come out. like i said I'm no expert I'm very new to all of this, but i feel my sons pain and frustration, and the medication seems to be the only relief he's had. little by little i see his spirit and soul start to come out. he's able to function better without as much frustration, and he's able to feel good about himself slowly. Meds are not the only answer, he needs therapy, and new habits, or coping skills. we have allot of work ahead of us. i see in him, exactly who i was as a child, i think that's why i can't focus, and I'm disorganized, and simply a mess as well. I'm also going to my doctor to talk with him about me, so i can better help my children. it's a big step, but at least better than giving up! Well i hope i made a little sense, its hard for me to write because my mind goes 1,000 times faster than my typing skills. I'm sure you'll get other responses from people more experienced in this matter, i just had to respond, i know how it hurts to not have any input, and feel like your the only one in this huge world who feels this way.
good luck, i hope you get the answers you need, and can find happiness and relief in your life soon.
Sandra
Hey, all too often I have felt as you do right now. And, I've gone with it - traveling, and doing whatever. However, because I spent so many years doing what I wanted, I think that it's a good idea. Now having said that, I also know that from my experience, that it's only a good idea to know in advance if you can live with the consequences of that particular action. For me I thought that I could.
Part of our job (individually) is to know how much we are willing to trade to get what we want and need. There's nothing wrong with wanting to travel, ride a bike or anything else. It's whether or not you will be happy living with whatever trade-offs you had to made to have your needs met.
Another consideration is that because we are impulsive people generally, it may be a good idea to try out your idea for a month or even couple weeks to see whether or not you like that new lifestyle. That way you can see whether or not you can make it work. And, if for nothing else you will at least have tried it.
Oh' by the way on the offing myself thing - from my experience offing yourself is not a really a good option. It's very final and offers no flexibility. There is no negotiation after you've made that decision. Although, I can identify with how you are feeling and have wanted to many times to not live anymore, I can literally say that really what I wanted the most is to know how to handle the things that used to baffle me. Besides, how do you know what's going to happen if you're not here? So I guess if you're three options are to: 1- getting help and trying something new, or 2- going on motorcycle vacation or 3- offing yourself - I would say try one of the first two before the third. There is help available. Life can be good even great.
theoptimizer38437.6564930556I do not know where you live but if money is a problem is there insurance you can get through the county? For example i live in Buffalo area and we have offered for those who qualify (lower income or bosses do not offer insurance) Child health plus, Medicaid, (ha ha since we have problems these days with our county being in the whole), and other for adults. It is an insurance for all it would either be free or a small cost but is better than nothing. I am glad you realize the situation and will not harm yourself. Try to get assistance and seek help for sure because you do not have to feel that way you deserve better. Good luck and take care and remember there are people who care.Follow your heart and try to stick with the life that allows you to put energy into things you are passionate about - but remember that there is a minimal amount of conformity to the capitalist system required in order to keep food on the table.No matter how you look at it your post is a cry for help! So much for being "unique" . We all feel like you do at one time or another!! Even those of us who have accomplished much and make a good living have these inner turmoils. Sounds like you are difinately creative and need to be able to express yourself! Medication still lets you by YOU. There are plenty of free mental health clinics in the US. Meds are usually less than for a months supply.
Don't continue to feel frustration and lost - join the population of those of us who chose to change our chemical makeup for PEACE!
Again I recommend the book"You mean I am not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy" I could even laugh at myself reading this book