Therapy again? | ADHD Information

Hi David! And welcome to the forum!

I just came off of Amazon.com (books section) and found all sort of books on alternatives (other than meds) for treating for AD(H)D. Too many to list here, so I suggest you take a look/search. You don't have to buy any books there, probably will find all the titles at the library.

There are also good sites, with management tools for both adults and children with ADHD.

Good luck!GypsyWomyn38421.4836458333

Folks:

I need some advice. I'm 37, have a daughter of almost 5 with what's becoming the ADHD From Hell (a very happy, very bright, but commonly misunderstood and underestimated little girl, both academically and socially, by the many bozos who have tried to treat her). I've watched how my daughter is being given the runaround by incompetent therapists (she allegedly went down 13 IQ points in 7 month's time, after being given weekly OccTherapy and Speech Therapy sessions... the lady doing the testing came in 30 mins late, and all hope of keeping her interested and focused for the test went down the tube as a consequence...) I'm now working as a data architect for a software development firm, and feeling the need to get therapy for myself again, due to my line of work. However, precisely because of what we've both gone through with therapists, I have second thoughts about it, big time. Hence, I want to know your opinion.

My wife's brain is the complete antithesis of mine. She was introduced to ADHD when we were starting together as a couple, about 9 years ago. She loves me and our two kids dearly, but has had quite a hard time dealing with the condition and its side effects. I can cope, awright, the little one can't, and so does her mom. My wife is starting to lose hope. I've resisted med'ing our daughter, because of what I went through. However, I think I will -to my chagrin- HAVE to take therapy again, in part because of the brutal attention to detail I need for my current project, and in part to be able to help both my wife and my daughter. And given my own track record with ADHD, I'm quite reluctant to be med'd again, and to med my daughter.

I formally discovered I had ADHD while back in college getting my Master's. I was 27 at the time. My advisor was the living embodiment of ADHD. He'd schedule a meeting for Monday at 9:00 AM and would end up meeting him, for 10 mins only, FRIDAY at 5:20 PM. My thesis topic would drift for ages. I started wondering if the guy was nuts, and looked at the univ's library for the DSM-IV. I looked up symptoms and, lo and behold, the ADHD definition would explain not only his symptoms, but mine also.

Of course, I knew way long before that that I couldn't concentrate jack feces, every now and then. I happened to be a "gifted" child, had an IQ of 150, and was the center of attention for many, many years within my extended family. I felt pretty much like Mozart would have felt when he was being toured around Europe by his dad. My folks were extremely proud of me, and -in hindsight- too naive or unprepared to handle the attention my perceived intelligence caused, both negative and positive. But because of that, I was exposed to envy quite early in life. Kids hated the bookworm in class, period.

I'd be a model student who would get bored easily in school. There was such a thing as a "conduct" grade in school, at I'd have constant B minuses and C's on that. The reason? I would chat in the classroom when bored, which was about 80% of the time. At the time (mid 1970's) my folks didn't know how to deal with this, but since they BOTH happened to be patients also, they probably thought I was normal(!) However, the school I was at had this principal who would have been better suited as the matron of a concentration camp. She put me through 5 years of living hell, disciplining me for every conceivable minor infraction. Worst one I did was throwing an empty soda can to a passing car. Didn't hit it. Got 2 months detention, along with the joint-smoking and knife-wielding kids.

I rebelled in High School; found drink as an alternative. Was quite the early drinker: not an alcoholic, but a binge drinker. (Carding in Puerto Rico for liquor purchases is a total joke). One night I drank a whole bottle of vodka, and after puking for three days and having my stomach pumped (I had a 0.42% blood alcohol level -which, say, John Bonham from Led Zeppelin wouldn't survive himself!), that was the end of it.

I never did drugs. Wasn't a punk. I was a nerd, particularly with girls. Guitar playing was a refuge, and I was the straightest arrow of the bunch. I was probably saved by my IQ (minus the neurons from the vodka incident... ) and self will. Got great grades in high school, without studying.

Went through hell in College the first time -since I had gone through without good study habits, the moment I hit College I was totally unprepared. Thank God I was good with computers. Graduated, spent three years in Silicon Valley. Came back to my home turf (Puerto Rico) after being laid off along with 5,800 others in my company. Went back to college. Spent 5 years in my Masters because of the reasons stated above (I dumped the advisor, but lost all the work and had to start over because he claimed rights to the thesis' methodologies) Met a wonderful woman, and married her. Had a beautiful, bubbly, and definitely inattentive girl, and -just three months ago- a very handsome and happy son.

However, in the middle of the timeframe for that last paragraph, I went (finally) into therapy. First, I took Ritalin for a while (almost two years). I'd feel brutally anxious. It did wonders for my attention span, but I'd feel rushed, with all the crack-like side effects. Then I moved to San Juan from my hometown, and found this absolute incompetent of a psychiatrist, who would confide me he'd prescript 1.3 GRAMS of antidepressant drugs to a manic depressive patient of his. Gave me Zoloft, since I didn't want anything to do with Ritalin. Low dose made me a sexual god (I'll mercifully spare you the details ); my wife at first was totally pleased (literally), but eventually the novelty wore off; besides, my attention span wasn't fixed at all. Upped the dose, my libido bombed, and my attention span wasn't fixed, either. Not fun for a newlywed couple; my wife almost sent me to a Franciscan convent.

When the guy started giving me Wellbutrin I got a checkup elsewhere: my liver enzymes were sky-high. The guy was literally making Swiss cheese out of my liver, since my liver had this hereditary (hemochromatosis) condition also, and he HADN'T given me a checkup before medding me. Dropped the guy. A third therapist started giving me some other medication... which turned out NOT to be effective after all. She recognized she misprescribed me. So I swore off medication for good.

Now I see what my daughter is going through, and my current job assignment demands rock solid attention to detail. I remember what I went through with meds, and I want neither for her nor for myself to go through this (in my case, again). What should I do? Should I follow some different approach to therapy? Are there any specifics that both me and my wife should follow this time around? I'll probably look elsewhere in the Forum to see how to deal with our daughter, but I need help... but don't need the sloppy medicine. My wife also needs help coping.

Your thoughts?

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