When you are Mad, do you end the relation | ADHD Information
Just wanted to see if any ADHDers do this....When I get mad at a friend or they dissapoint me with their actions...I seem to pull away from them and want to end the relationship...not with a big arguement just move away from them...it could be for something like if they notice the cashier gave them too much change back and they don't tell the cashier and keep the extra money...I don't know why things like this bother me but...I use these types of actions as a big tip on possible other personality traits and I can't get past them.
Most of the time it is with friends...main reason why I don't keep friends..I end up thinking I am above them...
CreativeCrazy38423.7768518519Thoughts of leaving your husband?????
I'm not going to comment on the issues with friends. But....
Consider what your husband has lived with and put up with from you. Not that
you can help it, we all know how that is. But he has/is hanging in there with
you.
Does your husband deserve to be abandoned by you?
Sorry to be so up front and blunt about this, but I have been through similar
situations. My first wife left me and took our son who was only one year old
with her.
Might I suggest the two of you find a good marriage/family therapist who specializes
in dealing with ADD issues and get down to learning how to communicate with
each other rather than thinking about running away.
Just my .02c
If I get angry or argue with a friend -- not about something like you described, tho -- I always ask for a hug and apologize before we say goodbye.
But if it has to do with someone's ethics, I may have a difficult time, especially if it occurs numerous times and in different situations.
Also, if I find a friend is constantly negative, I may not see them for some time. It's unhealthy to associate with people who are only negative.
Now, about your husband, perhaps ZORB is right about seeking out counseling, if he's willing to do so.
All just my opinion, but I do wish you luck. Want you to continue being Creative Crazy, not just crazy! Or driving yourself crazy. CC, I was cleaning out my email freeing up space, when I came across something that contained the following:
A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
Just some words for thought.
Lee03, I suppose you are right, who are we to judge? However, it can still be annoying to us who wouldn't do something like not returning the $$.
OMG!! I am very similar, when a friend does offend me, I would rather end the friendship instead of fighting it out. Even when my husband and I were dating, I would break up with him everytime I was mad or disappointed with him. Also shortly after we were married, we went through some tough times. I acutally left him and I only came back because I had a 8month old and was pregnant again. But things worked out for the good. CC as for friends, I think you are being judgemental, and you shouldnt do that. What if people judged you based on all of your mistakes?? I'm not trying to be mean or anything, just try to look at things from the other persons eyes. That stuff does bug me though. You or I would give the change back, but who cares? who are we to judge?
elements of the opposite for me ...
I do sometimes get upset over things that I wish I hadn't and I express myself - then later, I wish I had been more diplomatic. However, then the other person is the one who is offended long after I'm over it. I'm getting better since i realized i do this and have tried to become more diplomatic; however, i do sometimes do it still ...
[QUOTE=GypsyWomyn]
A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
[/QUOTE]
Gyp, this is sooooooooo what I feel on the inside when someone does this kind of thing....the person who took the extra change....takes advantage of me constantly...not with money...but just takes advantage of me...she wanted a flower arrangement for her house and keeps wanting me to go get the flowers and make it for her...and of course she will not pay me just reimburse me for the product and she will expect me to pass the discount on to her...she recently had mold in her home (stucco) and had to have it taken down to the studs...well when it was rebuilt she used me to pick paint colors, new furniture and she used me to get a discount on plantation shutters for her whole home. She never really said thank you...took me to lunch or anything...as a matter a fact after awhile I think she started to think I got some sort of kick back from her shutter order because she wanted me to call and confirm the price with her on threeway and act like she was on the phone...I did it and she I am sure felt stupid...because I would not do something like this...she prob thought of it because it would be something she would do....then not too long after that she wanted me to order her roman shades for the back of the house looking out to her observatory and I did it...(stupid me)....they turned out very well and I really like them...The owner of the workroom I use came to the installation and had arranged for the owner and I to go to lunch after the install...well the lady heard us talking about where to go and she then invited herself....We were going to this place called the grill, it is in Saks...and it is kind of swanky...well (I'll call my friend K) K invited her self and her daughter and proceded to forget her wallet when it came time to pay ...so here I was paying for a lunch that is equivalant to a nice dinner for K her daughter and the person I originally wanted to take plus myself...it was about 142.00 with tip....K said she would pay me back and never did....I just thought of this when I was typing the aforementioned and so I guess she does take advantage of me monaterially (sp?) anyway if I give this type of friend up I will not really have any....all of my friends stay friends with me but they all want me to design something for them or make some flower arrangement or something like that...they just don't want to be my friend.... I feel like the road kill that never goes away but keeps getting pounded by the cars ....over and over and over again....
oooh, CC, it does seem to me that someone is taking advantage of you. I'm curious, how is your "friendship with K otherwise...I mean, do you talk and laugh, and cry, share, and hug? If not, I don't think she's really a friend after all. You say if you give that kind of friend up, you would have none. But from my own experience, it's better to have no friend than a "friend" who uses you for what you can do for them, not what they can do for you and visa versa. A mutual friendship.Hey, I've got this window in my RV that REALLY needs some blinds....
I've also heard a saying that if a man doesn't treat a dog well, then he won't treat you any better. (Not that you're a dog, CC.
GypsyWomyn38423.8968865741 Oh, also, do you have any pets (besides your husband?) 
Mine are my BEST friends. Much prefer their company to any person's. CATs, especially.GypsyWomyn38423.9045717593K is very nice to me otherwise...she helps me out with all my problems...and knwos I have ADHD and that my birth mom had bypolar and all that...she is the best otherwise...she hasn't done anything recently so I am still friends with her...but I was using her situation as an example....
I do have two dogs and YES they are my best friends...my husband doesn't come home until about 9 or 10 at night and is gone during the day...so I spend all the time with them they are the best and lvoe me ADHD and all...also my daugther is the best except she is now getting to that stage where she is pulling away and I am ok with it...she is growing up....thank God the dogs are perpetual two year olds....they will be my babies.....
oh yeah sorry about the spelling sometimes I just dont want to think about spelling and now is one of those times...or I type too fast and mispell things
thank GYPSY!!!!
YES - but my husband wont go !!!!! I guess that is why we work so well.
Like that song lyric "If you leave me, can I come too" - that is so my hubby. LOL.
I used to do it a lot as a child, but as an adult I would just spend time away from them until I forgot what I was angry about. I was an only child and seemingly anti-social due to scaing other kids off with my odd interests, thoughts & behavior. In high school it only got worse. While other teens would be discussing the big party they had Saturday night I wanted to talk about arts & crafts or entomology (bugs). I absolutely HATE forced social activities and will get to the point I may crack and retreat. In the long run, I have few friendships. Just the ones I formed when I was young.Nah, i never stay mad and not to long after an incident I am like it never happened. In my Marriage a sane Man would of bailed a yr or two earlier[QUOTE=GypsyWomyn]A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
[/QUOTE]
I read that and laughed a bit. My boyfriend's "test" with a girl was always how she treated the waiter/waitress on dates. I've had a lot of friends in that business, so I was trained to be nice...but either way, I also don't want my food to have anything extra in it...LoL
CC, I have also done similar things with friends. I get told I am too picky, but it is small, random stuff that sets me off someone. Sometimes it is something that truly irritates me, but I also think with some people I am just looking for a reason. Some people I just seem to get along w/ better, and their habits don't drive me away...it's weird.
[quote=Rae70]YES - but my husband wont go !!!!! I guess that is why we work so well.Like that song lyric "If you leave me, can I come too" - that is so my hubby.LOL[/quote]
You're too funny, Rae!
[quote=chicx0r]...Some people I just seem to get along w/ better, and their habits don't drive me away...it's weird.[/quote]
And obviously your habits don't drive them away...not weird at all!
Also, chicxOr, if I do find a problem with my meal in a restaurant, I will be tactful in notifying them about it. Or, just forget it, if I'm with one particular friend, because she just doesn't 'get' it, if I feel the need to tell them. So rather than say anything, I opt to keep the meal together enjoyable and happy.
Do you live in Oregon?