Am I the only one who does these????????? | ADHD Information
Is there anyone out there who just gets these...kind of...vague, non specific cravings? and you can't figure out what it is you wanna do, or what it is you are craving? I get these sometimes, and I just thought I was going crazy or something, and then I read that ad/hd book called "YOU MEAN I'M NOT LAZY STUPID OR CRAZY?!" and it went on to describe these exact feelings.........what do you guys think? do you guys ever have this feeling?
It was another question I had also planned to add to this, but I forgot what it was.......
....oh well, I will come back and write it when I think about it....
and P.S....Are there any other 'issues" that you feel that you are the only one with? write them here also, and maybe you actually AREN'T the only one....
sonya_h38425.5251388889 [QUOTE=illhtac]ooh, another one- does anybody else ever forget to eat?[/QUOTE]
Sorry! This reminded me of an email I've seen a couple of times, making
fun of "skinny" girls who forget to eat - "I've forgotten my keys, my
mother's maiden name, and my best friend's phone number, but I have
NEVER forgotten to eat. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget to
eat". LOL.That said... I have occasionally forgotten to eat. Sometimes I will get so hyperfocused on something that eating will go completly out the window. However, this is rare. I LOVE food, and am also borderline hypoglycemic, so if I forget to eat, my body lets me know in a big hurry. There's NO WAY I could NOT eat breakfast.
As for keeping in touch with friends - I'm HORRIBLE! One of my best friends from high school lives on the other side of the country. I have not physically seen her since 1999. I love her dearly, but I have not spoken to her on the phone in nearly a year. Before that, it had been nearly two years. We occasionally email.... but it's not the same. Of course, the road goes both ways.
Another of my college friends writes a Christmas letter every year. I keep think I would like to get into that habit, but Christmas always comes and goes and still I have produced no letter.
bcgirl197838425.6162152778Oooohhhh!!!! Does anyone else HATE talking on the phone when someone else is int he room? I hate feeling like my conversation is being overheard. Even at home with my boyfriend, I have to go into the bedroom and close the door if I am on the phone.
Am I the only one who can forget the date no matter what that date is?
I once asked someone what day it was- on Christmas.
I have to drag my ad/hd husband to the barbershop
...otherwise he would never go...he lets his mustache grow out of control and it looks ridiculous....that is until i grab him, hold him down and trim it.
sonya_h38425.6913541667
Yes... I can see
how this feeling and ADHD can go hand in hand. I've often thought I was
anything from hungry, to worried, to bored, to depressed with my
job.... just having a longing for something. These
are often the times I am flopping on the couch like a restless 5-year
old, and my boyfriend asks me what's wrong, and all I can say is, "I
don't knoooow.....I'm bored". "Well, what do you want to do?" "I don't know!"I too have had the feeling since childhood. Always wanting to try something "new", and feeling profound disappointment when I couldn't. "Mom, I'm bored" was often heard in my home too.
bcgirl197838425.4921296296
I rarely shave my legs, especially in winter because I need the extra warmth. If I'm wearing a skirt in winter I wear tights so you can't see the hair.
am I the only one who... can't keep in touch with anybody?
I have a note that a friend sent me in OCTOBER that I haven't replied to yet. I used to never send thank you notes unless my mom forced me to sit down and do it, and I still send them out a few months after I got the gift but I'm getting better.
I also hate talking on the phone, especially calling people. I lost one of my really good friends who probably would have become more than a friend because I never called him. He would leave messages and then got sick of waiting for me to call him back, so he quit. Then once I realized what happened (I'm not so good at figuring out what's going on in social situations) I couldn't call him because I was too embarassed to call back after 4 months.
ooh, another one- does anybody else ever forget to eat?
if I'm really busy or involved in doing something I'll just totally forget to eat sometimes. I forget breakfast a lot too. I also eat a lot at once if I'm studying or just hanging around my house, so I end up eating a ton of food for a few days, then hardly anything for a few more. I'm trying to be better because I got sick a lot last year because I wasn't eating, and not eating healthy things when I did eat.
OK, HERE GOES: Another (kinda embarrassing) "am I the only one???" question for you guys, and I hope I don't get looked at strange, or hopped on, or thought of as insane, and I don't know what kinda response I'm gonna get, but anyhow, here goes>.>>>>>>>>>>
HOW many of you guys have had "problems" "issues" with personal hygiene concerns? I mean, they can be simple, or complex...still going on for you, or you found a way to "nip" the problem....do spilll>if you WANT to.....if you don't wanna "go there" then I understand.....
and YES I HAVE HAD A PROBLEM HERE, just to let you guys know.
Ummm...........
Up until my early to mid teens, I used to never use soap. Washing my hair in the shower was good enough... I mean, that soap kind of ran all over, didn't it? Showers took too long as it was for my impatient taste.
Oh... I used to forget my deodorant a lot too.... 
I didn't really feel like I needed it.Today I just rarely bother to shave my legs. Needless to say, I don't wear a lot of shorts or skirts in the summertime. Maybe I should just move to Europe.
ok...WHEW...THANKS BC GIRL!! I just needed some one else to dish; now I can dish too.........it's kinda hard to take showers in the morning when you are in high school>>when YOU REGULARLY SLEEP SO LATE THAT YOU ARE JUST GONNA MAKE THE BUS BY THE SKIN OF YOUR TEETH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING???? I used to just have to throw clothes on, deodorant and just GO!!
...and in middle school? washing my hair? i could not be bothered with that sort of "nonsense". I had pets to look after, trees to climb, woods to explore (I lived in the country)....unfortunately, I went a VERY VERY LONG TIME (too embarrassed to say exactly how long...) without atually washing and combing through (with shampoo; just ran water through it, brushed the edges smooth, and back into a bun u go!!) my thick, long, curly hair...and one day, when I finally went through the trouble to comb it out, it was just this one big thick giant mat!!! I had to actually CUT THE MAT OUT!!!
I AM MUCH BETTER NOW YOU GUYS!!! although there are things I still have to "remember"....or either just outright force myself to do sometimes.....and I think the absolute WORSE THING that can happen is to have ad/hd, and be "blessed" with thick, unruly, wild, curly hair, like me..
and DRATS DRATS DRATS!!!!
I had 2 more really good "am I the only one?" questions that I wanted to put into this thread also, but i just can't remember what they were!!!
But if you have a good "am I the only one?" question, DO ADD IT!! I'm interested in those, deep down, dark, issues that only us AD/HD folks would understand!! Let's see just how much we have in common!!!
Sonya, I'm not sure what you're particularly referring to, but there is this sort of "yearning" or "longing" I've gotten often over the years as an adult. It feels more like "homesickness." Not for my current home, but for my childhood (and I sure don't mean the unhappy parts!)WOW, Sonya...I never really thought of it so specifically as I am tonight. It's a homesickness for the smells of the house I grew up in. My mother, her hugs, her playing the piano in the room under my bedroom to put me to sleep, and how she smelled! My grand-parents' home, with all the great nooks and cranies to play and hide in, and the smells of my grandmother cooking things only she cooked. Playing as a child with my 14 cousins, who all lived walking distance from one another. Opening presents at holidays and birthdays. Trying to fly off the camp porch after eating pixy dust (dandelion fluff). Lightning bugs (there are none on the west coast!). The good memories of my childhood.
Ahh, thanks, sweetie, for making me think about it, for although it does create a sort of craving/yearning, it's also very comforting. The next time I get this feeling, I don't think I'll feel so sad since I've finally been able to identify it. I think I will sleep very well tonight, and hope I dream of my grandparent's house!!GypsyWomyn38424.9570833333
AWWWW......Gypsy...........Your post made me cry!!!! (it's a good thing)
I DO have that feeling, too, like a longing or yearning, or I usually say "There's just something missing" - always- I don't know what it is, it's just a weird feeling......
That happens to me all the time. I feel like there's something that I want to do, or somewhere I want to be, but I can't figure out what it is. It drives me nuts.
about 'issuses'... I feel like I'm the only person in the world (or at least at my school) that can't keep it together. I slept through an exam this morning because I was up late studying for it because I hadn't done anything but watch tv all weekend. I just couldn't get myself up off the couch. Once I woke up I emailed my professor to see if I could make up the exam, and I was going to do an essay that is the take home part of an exam that I took on Friday, because I totally forgot about it until late last night when I was frantically trying to get the things that I hadn't done all weekend under control. I was so upset about missing my exam and feeling overwhelmed by everything that I just started crying and couldn't stop. I called my mom and she calmed me down, but I still feel like the world's biggest idiot because I just can't seem to be able to deal with things. I feel so stupid for doing nothing all weekend when I have so much to do, and I'm mad at my professors for giving me extra things to do at the last minute. I had to work on a presentation last night with my group because we're presenting tomorrow, and we were only told about it on Thursday. Then I remembered that I have to drop off a check for a deposit because I'm studying abroad next semester and I forgot that the check was due until two days after it was due, and I told them that they would have it today but I don't have time to go to the bank today and move the money around so the check won't bounce and I just can't handle life anymore. It's too hard. I know that ADD makes things difficult and I can only handle so much at a time, but then when I procrastinate or forget about things, it just gives me that much more to do and then I have a breakdown like I did this morning. I feel so guilty for not doing anything this weekend, and I'm so stupid for getting myself into this mess. I want so badly to be able to just DO something instead of sitting there thinking about all of the things that I have to do while they're piling up. I just want to have a normal brain like everyone else.
Now I'm going to be late for class, with my eyes all red from crying and I have to explain to my professor that I forgot to do my exam and beg to be able to turn it in later, then find the time to do it today.
oh yes!!! I have that feeling too. "There's just something missing" is just the description I would give it also. Just a terribly strong "need" for something I can't identify.
Sometimes when I feel like that I also think of happy days from childhood, days that I had no worries and felt like I belonged. Lying under an apple tree in the tall grass on a summer day, walking down a dusty road with my cousin trying to catch grasshoppers. Is peace of mind the "missing" thing???
[QUOTE=illhtac]about 'issuses'... I feel like I'm the only person in the world (or at least at my school) that can't keep it together. I slept through an exam this morning because I was up late studying for it because I hadn't done anything but watch tv all weekend. I just couldn't get myself up off the couch. Once I woke up I emailed my professor to see if I could make up the exam, and I was going to do an essay that is the take home part of an exam that I took on Friday, because I totally forgot about it until late last night when I was frantically trying to get the things that I hadn't done all weekend under control. I was so upset about missing my exam and feeling overwhelmed by everything that I just started crying and couldn't stop. I called my mom and she calmed me down, but I still feel like the world's biggest idiot because I just can't seem to be able to deal with things. I feel so stupid for doing nothing all weekend when I have so much to do, and I'm mad at my professors for giving me extra things to do at the last minute. I had to work on a presentation last night with my group because we're presenting tomorrow, and we were only told about it on Thursday. Then I remembered that I have to drop off a check for a deposit because I'm studying abroad next semester and I forgot that the check was due until two days after it was due, and I told them that they would have it today but I don't have time to go to the bank today and move the money around so the check won't bounce and I just can't handle life anymore. It's too hard. I know that ADD makes things difficult and I can only handle so much at a time, but then when I procrastinate or forget about things, it just gives me that much more to do and then I have a breakdown like I did this morning. I feel so guilty for not doing anything this weekend, and I'm so stupid for getting myself into this mess. I want so badly to be able to just DO something instead of sitting there thinking about all of the things that I have to do while they're piling up. I just want to have a normal brain like everyone else.[/QUOTE]
YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT THE ONLY ONE FOR THIS, EITHER.....I will tell you (very relunctantly, because I'm so embarrassed) about the time at work, where I went crying to my manager........I was a 3rd keyholder in a shoe store, meaning I was like a manager, and I held a set of keys to the store...(I know what yall are thinking, YOU? WITH AD/HD? RESPONSIBLE FOR KEYS????? KEYS TO THE WHOLE STORE?????) yesssssss, and it did happen one day.....I LOST THEM....and the store manager, (who was NOT , BY ANY MEANS the understanding type!) had to come in, half dressed, and not in her makeup (which made her VERY VERY VERY VERY CROSS!!!) to open up the store!! I was SO DEVASTATED AND HUMILIATED, BECAUSE she demanded to know why this happened and I was forced to explain to her that I have ad/hd and that I was not, at that time, on my medication....and I was crying all over the place, and she said that I needed to either get back on my meds, or else!!!!! so I finally was able to get back on my meds...(had to spend 0 for them at retail!!!) but it made a HUGE difference, and everthing was ok from then on........until I found another job....she did not want me to leave, and her way of expressing this was implying that no one at another job would put up with me the way she had done in the past.....(SHE WAS NOT A VERY GOOD MANAGER AT ALL DESTROYED MY SELF ESTEEM, AND MADE ME FEEL WORTHLESS, AND NO ONE LIKED HER) but I have now been at my current job for a very long time, and they love me here, so BOOM I TOLD HER!!!!!!!!
sonya_h38425.5149884259
See, my problem is, i have had those feelings from time to time EVER SINCE I was a child....That's why I would always complain to my mom.."I'M BOOOORRREEDDD!!!"....(AD/HD children have been known to constantly complain of this) and I remember that when I told my mom this, (hoping she would figure out something I could do to quench that "longing" or "craving" or "deep vague want") this is how I was feeling....Now that I 'm older I realize that when I got those feelings I have no idea WHAT it is that I want...sometimes I think that I am hungry, or thirsty, and then I realize that I'm not and then I think "I WANNA GOOOOO SOMEWHERE!! ANYWHERE!!"...and i would think I was the ABSOLUTE ONLY one who felt this way.... and then I got a hold of that book mentioned above, and I read all about those exact feelings....and I felt I was not so alone anymore, until then i read it in that book, i had NO IDEA that feeling had ANYTHING to do with ad/hd.
The book says sometimes people use the wrong things to quench that feeling, like overeating, or drugs, or draining their partner with a sex addiction thing, OR either there are the "daredevil type' ad/hders that get that urge, and then wanna go skydiving, or cliffclimbing, or something kinda dangerous all to try to quell that deep, unreachable urge.
But even though I had read about it in ad/hd books, I had never actually asked any other ad/hders whether or not they had this feeling.....i figured there must have been at least a few out there who did this also, or else they would not have talked about it in that book....
so, i feel i am not so alone anymore!!!
But it almost goes beyond that. It is very hard to describe. It's like a longing... a longing for something that is just out of your reach. Almost an ache in your very soul. It makes me want to cry sometimes. Okay now I'm starting to sound like the freak.
Gypsy, I find myself wishing I could be back in the good parts of my childhood too. My grandmother's house on the ocean in Newfoundland - the smells, sights and sounds. Those carefree days of playing with my sister and the handful of neighbourhood kids we hung out with. The fun of scaring each other silly with dumb ghost stories and stuff. The "magic" of Christmas and believing in Santa Claus. The sheer fun of a child's unbridled imagination! *sigh*
Uncanny... this is absolutely incredible. There's only one person in the world who's ever said anything to me before about feeling this way. I have since late childhood/early adolescence had a sense of yearning/homesickness for something I couldn't identify. I wanted to go somewhere beautiful. Between my friend and I, the one I found who felt the same way, we concluded it was wanderlust. For me, it's a need to see new places and things. It gets stronger but also feels fulfilled when I travel and see beautiful landscapes. Certain music makes me practically pine away with grief for missing things I've never even experienced before! If I try to equate it with nostalgia and revisit old memories, I just get depressed. Then again I've had a lot of loss in my life, so maybe that's the difference. All I know is, I long for adventure: when I was young I wanted to fly away sometimes on a magic carpet or sail away on a pirate ship. It must come from having a strong imagination. Now, I travel as much as I can.
Besides that I think I really want a group of friends who understands me... I have a few here and there, but I don't "belong" so much. In my small group of misfits, I'm the leader, but in most places I'm just the oddball. I've been referred to as every shade of "eccentric" and told I "take some getting used to." LOL, I take it as a compliment, but... despite that I love to be unique, there is nothing like spending time with like minds. I'm so lucky to have a best friend and a boyfriend, as well as a few family members, who are on at least a similar wavelength. It's when they're not around and I'm surrounded by "normal" people that I start to feel lonely and homesick again.
Which brings me to a point: I love these boards. It's incredible how much we all have in common. Does anyone think that maybe we could qualify as a separate species? ^_^
EDIT
lee0338425.7931134259Personal hygiene hmmmm. Well I guess it's like all these things, it's not as if I don't want to eat lunch or have a shower or shave my legs, but sometimes I don't get around to doing things. Just say I'm going to a party at 6pm. I fully intend to shower, eat something, blowdry my hair, makeup, shave legs, paint toenails, clean teeth, choose outfit, get dressed and go. But I never start getting ready early enough.
I'm generally well presented but can also be a huge slob and live in the same tracksuit for a month. Right now I have a boyfriend, so have been making a big effort to stay tidy. I ride a bicycle and we go to the gym together most days so he doesn't mind that I am always wearing shorts and singlet. This helps me remember to shower every day, wash my face, wipe my makeup off.
On the other hand I have never in my life left the house to go somewhere fully dressed and on time. I've always got wet hair, no make up, no shoes on, half dressed...most days I throw clothes in a backpack, ride my bike and get changed at my destination.
I don't know how I'll feel after taking meds for a while, but right now I just have to find ways to adapt. No time to wash hair, so I wear it up with flowers or sparkly hairclips. No time to repaint chipped toenails to match my outfit, so I either wear closed shoes instead, or take polish and paint them quickly in the bathroom as soon as I get to the party. I ALWAYS do my hair and makeup in the car or on the bus on the way. No time to clean teeth, or can't find toothpaste/toothbrush - Listerine and chewing gum was invented for this reason. I always carry a sample size bottle of listerine in my bag and refill it from the big bottle at home. No time to shave my legs so I wear jeans instead with a pretty top. Shaving underarms is quicker.
My biggest problem is my hair which is wavy and thick. Either I have to wear it in a ponytail for eternity or spend 2 hours blowdrying it every time I go out. So I went and had it permanently straightened and cut into a bob. That cost 0 and took 4 hours, but it has been fantastic. Now I barely brush it before I go out and it looks fine. One less thing to worry about!
I think we ADDers just have to find ways to make life easier for us. Think about the things that cause you to be late or panic, and find ways to make it easier.
When I was younger my mum would suddenly decide I couldn't go out until I had vacuumed my room, hung out the washing or some other thing. This last minute change to my routine always put me into such a panic attack I'd start crying hysterically and I'd end up being 2 hours late or not going out at all. Then she would tell me how hopeless I always was, always late, always a disaster zone, which just made me feel more of a failure. I'm adopted and my family are all engineers, so they had no idea why I couldn't get it together, why I've always been such a disorganised emotional wreck.
I've just moved back home after a few years of living with flatmates and she automatically started trying to treat me like a kid again. This time I have explained that each day I mentally work out a plan of getting ready on time and I can't cope with any additions or changes to this. If she wants me to vacuum I now say too bad, I can't do it because it will cause me to panic. I also tell her I'm catching the 7.10 bus and have to leave at exactly 7pm. It stops her from trying to get me to do something at 6.55.
Why is life is so difficult for us! Even on the other side of the world, you guys all deal with the same little things every day that can turn into disasters! But slowly I'm finding ways to deal with it all... here's hoping!
Never...like today...it's Tuesday, March 13, right?
Actually, I often forget the date, and the day of the week just as often. Much easier to forget when not working. But even when I was working I had this problem. I usually go to the office at the RV park and ask the manager. And if they're not open yet, I'll call the operator. If you go to any news station on TV, they only give the time..NO date, NO day..and that time isn't always the same as my time zone.
bcgirl wrote: "HOW many of you guys have Had "problems" "issues" with personal hygiene concerns? I mean, they can be simple, or complex...still going on for you, or you found a way to "nip" the problem....do spill...if you WANT to.....if you don't wanna "go there" then I understand...."
I am very embarrassed to say I do tend to forget
to shower sometimes...going sometimes almost a week. (Amazing how comfortable I feel with you guys to admit this.) When asked by a SSD Judge why I don't shower regularly, I was too embarrassed to say I forget to and just *shrugged.* I often remain in my home days at a time, however if I know I'm going to the dr or lunch with a friend, I definitely make a point to shower. Yet in the hot days of summer, I may shower 3x day! Too often in the winter is not good for the skin anyway. I may, tho, take a PTA bath in my RV, but not every day. And I use deodorant daily. Now, just don't tell anyone any of this I've said, okay?
I no longer shave my legs, and the older I get, the less hair there is and less noticable. I made the mistake 3 years ago of shaving them, and they grew in thicker. So now I'm back to leaving it be.
I do not shave my armpits, either. I just don't wear sleeveless shirts when I go out with friends to eat...once was told it grossed them out. TOO BAD! If there was enough of it, I'd probably braid the hair.
Illhtac, I also often forget to eat, and this was before meds that suppressed my appetite, especially when I'm hyperfocused with something I'm doing.
Aren't we a mess? How do we survive?
Sonya and bcgirl....just love your new Avatars!