Ok, I totally need some help here, I was just diagnose with ADHD in the last year and a half, which explains a lot about my life.. ANYWAY.. lol..NO, I haven't read the book about ADD and Romance, I am planning on getting it though. My problem that is that it drives me crazy if I don't see him for 2 or 3 days. He on the other hand, has no problem with it. He's perfectly happy, and me? I am miserable! I have been told before in past relationships that its obcessive. I know its not. He calls me every day, and thinks that's enough, for me? its not. How do I tell him, " Hey! I have ADD and need some more contact!" without it sounding like I am being overly clingy and needy? He's independent, and fine with being alone and doing things on his own. Me? I want his company and miss him when he's not there, and while I try not to obcess on the fact that he's not there and try to go do other things, 2 days seems like a week to me.. and I know thats NOT " quote NORMAL" I am sure I am driving him crazy, so how Do I deal with this, and help him deal with it, so he knows I don't do these things deliberatly?  How Do I help him be patient with the fact that while he doens't need that instant gratification of recognition and need? I do, and how do I work around it? We're not living together, because its not something that I feel is good for me or him at this time, and our scheduels are completely out of wack, he's a night job man,and I go to college during the day and work in the afternoons. HELP!

You said:  and I know thats NOT " quote NORMAL" I am sure I am driving him crazy, so how Do I deal with this, and help him deal with it, so he knows I don't do these things deliberatly?  How Do I help him be patient with the fact that while he doens't need that instant gratification of recognition and need? I do,

You, grow up. ADHD is also...you need and want everything NOW. He shouldn't have to deal with it or cave to you. YOU on the other hand have to stop asking people to understand and accomodate your ADD HABITS/OBSESSIVE behaviours and start understanding what are your real needs and what are ADD needs. It is a disorder so why should anyone be expected to accept your "logic" born out of this disorder? The right and desire to have thier own lives seperate from you and then thier lives when dating you is very natural. Your only reacting to your impulsive need for  what you want and NOW DAMB IT! I know you feel crappy dealing with it but is that a reason for why he should have to give up himself so you feel less emoitionallly conflicted? Get a life/hobby something or you will be alone more often in life if you don't start enjoying your self, by yourself in a dating situation. Its the #1 reason ADDer's have a hard time dating let alone having it ever develope into a relationship.  My favorite saying" I'd rather be alone and lonely than with someone and alone" If you've experienced the last part of that saying then do your self a favor and get counselling if you have to.

I didn't ask you to call me names. Thank you. I was asking for how I deal with it and how I do help him deal with it. I don't even like to use ANY KIND of disability or prognosis as an exscuse. So, that was out of line. I am grown up, and probably been throug a lot more then you assume. I was asking for ideas and how do I deal with it and make it work. You assume I don't have hobbies and don't do much. I work, and I go to college and I also have a social life, but! that doesn't mean that I don't miss the person I don't see, as I said his scheduel and mine are completely upside down, which makes it hard for us to meet up much of the time as it is. I work days, he works nights. You tell me how that can work, and making dating happening.  You assume that I am incapable of doing things on my own without someone there in my life. A WRONG assumption.  Its hard for me to deal with the fact that I might not physically see him for 3 days, a normal thing for him, but not for me. I need to figure out how to explain all this stuff to him and have him atleast understand it. I don't expect him to accomidate me, that would be a problem for me, but that is another subject entirely.  I was asking for advice on this, not a lecutre. You are obviously not in a position to offer assistance when you can't even write with an empathetic tone. SO... if anyone else, has some USEFUL advice. I would appreciate it.

Did you read your first post? You made it clear there that you were being very needy...you knew that and that it is not " quote normal" on your part and yet you still wanted advise from people for you to make him understand and acknowledge your NEED for instant gratification by having his presense more often.  How else would I reply. I didn't write that to be rude to you but more of a blunt wake up call. In your next post you back away from your tone of desperation in your first post and describe a relationship thats plagued by different working hours and a variety of other things in your life that get in the way including his need for those extra days away from you for his own thing. Its obvious you've spoken to him but he still prefers doing his own thing. Try again if you like to say simply you want more of his time to make the relationship work. Only 2 things are going to happen. He'll hear you and decide he wants that for himself and to make you happy or he'll hear you and still decide that he likes things the way they are. That last one brings me back to my initial point. HE cannot ever make you happy. YOU can only do that by knowing what you need and what the needs are of the person you are with. If they are not compatible, pick wiser next time and let him go. This may seem like cruel advise to you but its the basic corner stone of any relationship you choose to enter. Its give and take. Pick people to date that are perseptive about your feelings and self motivated to always consider your needs as well as thier own. If you constantly have to force someone to acknowledge your needs then he is not likely to be the best choice for you no matter how attractive he is in other ways. Finally, my wake up call was to motivate you to make these descisions for your self and end a relationship that is not working for you as early as possible. Just being friends is OK. And if you still feel compelled to keep him inspite of his never coming around about this issue...then accept it and get ok with it. If you can't be ok with it....what does that tell you? In all fairness your first post by your own words sounded very immature. Of course your feelings are very valid but expecting someone else to change to make you feel better is never going to happen and is never the answer. You are in controll of your life. You call the shots but only for your self. Make a list of qualities and date several people that seem to fit those. Keep dating this guy if you want but know it for what it is and that it may not be for you. But certainly date others as well. Only get exclusive when the guy is everything basically that is important to you. But are you everything thats important for him? Its always a valid question. If you expect them to meet your needs and understand, then you have to be motivated daily to do the same for him AS LONG AS in doing so it does not violate your self worth, self esteem and morals. Sometimes a relationship nice for both people involved but the feelings only "click" for one of you. Recognise that too if its the guy that isn't as in to you as you are to him. He may say hes happy with you but actions or lack of them tell the real story. Don't get angry. Just wish him well and move on. He at least can become a friend if the relationship didn't last longer than it was supposed to. At that point, hurt feelings are always too painful to "just be friends" Thats why its important to know who you are, what you want and what you have to give and honor that!  The fact that you have ADD is not an excuse to hide behind but a reality that you have to embrace. Everyone of us share in the trait of impatience, of wanting things NOW and feeling absolutely emotional when this hasn't happened. The impatience is initially always disproportionate and sometimes even irrational. It is something to be aware of and to constantly challenge ourselves to not let interfere with our lives and especially relationship needs and desires. Its just a fact that you have to consider when you evaluate what it is you truely do need and what it is your frustration/loneliness makes you need. It takes bravery to know yourself and everything that motivates you including the ADD. P.S...I never called you any name.

There some great book about ADD and Relationships:

http://www.livingwithadd.com/booksrel.shtml