Okay. Here goes. At risk of ridicule and rejection, again. But...what the heck; it's only adult ADD and surely I've got friends out there - maybe the perverbial soul mate too.
A little history first - which is what's all about, I think.
I'm 58, married and divorced three times with four children. I'm semi-retired (meaning that I'm no longer am interested in a career and making money, but just earning it now). I've had enumerable jobs and have owned a number of businesses, never one being interrelated or connected. I've been moderately successful, financially, but almost bankrupt from a 'relationships perspective' - intimate rejection due to anger from my inablilty to stay settled in one job or career, leading to tryng to find that perfect partner to share my life with - better connection and personal relationships with women more then men (in their 'groups') - a loner in that I don't relate well with others in terms of interests and insight - a futurist, ahead of my time in terms of 'seeing things differently', doing it my way, failing because others don't share the same vision(s) - impatient, agressive and impulsive just to name a few of my deficeits - in and out of recreational pursuits (skiing, horses, boating, canoeing, hiking, and camping) - healthy but I smoke cigarettes and eat chocolate bars to keep my hand-to-mouth and addiction habits satisfied (use to smoke pot too, but quit after almost 40 years) - fleeting thoughts and beautiful ideas (I think) that I can't quite grasp long enough to write them down - journalized for over 40 years trying to get a handle on my life and situation(s) - sexually engergized believing that (for me) it's one of ways to express my desire and affection for the female I'm attracted to, yet at the risk of losing the one I'm closest too(risky behavoir, overcoming rejection) - unable to focus on one particular thought or action for any extended period of time without becoming distracted quickly - and on and on and on.
I haven't been officially diagnosed with ADD, but the feedback I get from family and some friends, plus a therapist who is ADD connected to an organization related to a fatal disease my last wife is afflicted with, and two books that I'm currently reading 'say so'; I'm reluctant to spend lots of money having people who are not neccessarily familar with disorder 'diagnose' me, and I'm really reluctant to go on any type of medication.
I rely heavily on my faith to carry me through these times. I believe I have lots to offer the world over the next 25 years, particularily in the missions area to help people recognize what ADD can do to a person, what faith can do to help 'work for the better good', and what I can do to help the poor and disadvantaged throughout North America (possibly abroad) as a multi-experienced and facited individual.
All the stuff I've risked telling this forum leads me to believe that I am ADD. Any thoughts from others out there that can shed a little light on what I've been talking about? Anyone out there that believes, as I am want to do, that one needs another person as a soul mate with the same 'affliction' to make things work?
If I've done things right (as far as this site goes), you can email me personally if you want, or go ahead and do it publically - I don't care.
Hoping to hear (see) some feedback soon.
Dave
Anyone out there that believes, as I am want to do, that one needs another person as a soul mate with the same 'affliction' to make things work?
I don't think it is neccessary at all. Especially if you seek treatment and really try to make improvements in yourself to get the ADD under control. I think it probably takes a lot of patience on a spouses part to deal with someone who has ADD, but I'm sure it can be done. I've been married 14 years to someone without it. I was just diagnosed about a week and a half ago. I'm sure that my lack of organization, lateness, forgetfulness, got on his nerves but he was able to put up with it somehow. I finally got fed up with it, and took the steps to figure it out. Although it's been a very short time since I have been on Adderall (generic), it's made great improvements. I've gotten a lot done, I haven't been late, and complete lists that I make. My husband is thrilled!
Dave, two ADDers together could be a recipe for disaster. I agree with taking steps to control yours and find an understanding partner.
My husband and I have been together for 17 years and although for most of our years together he would get mad at my chaotic organizing of bills, house, hobbies etc. I always tried to accommodate his organizaing suggestions.
Once I found out this is all probably due to ADD, and he can see it too, he and our kids have been most understanding and are behind me all the way to get the help I need - and they have laid off their criticisms and annoyance with me and my ways - what more could one ask of their family.
I am fortunate indeed.
Buzz