Making friends difficult?

Suzanne-

My daughter had an extremely difficult time with friends until she was diagnosed and started taking the medications (Adderall, Strattera).  Because she was so hyper and even at times aggressive, the "normal" kids stayed away from her.  From K-3 when she was basically floundering on all fronts, and her friends tended to be the other "misfits".  She'd make friends, but they were mostly the other disruptive, disrespectful, destructive, unmotivated kids in the school, and the friendships were extremely volatile.  She also tended to hang out with the boys since they were the ones running and kicking balls at recess while the girls were sitting in a corner giggling.  However, she's at a very conservative Catholic school and I had an ongoing battle with the administration about how inappropriate they thought it was for a girl to hang out with a group of boys.  Had to get the counselors involved in that one to convince the teachers that there was nothing sinister about this. 

Anyway, she saw a counselor for about a year in 3rd grade.  They tried to blame the problems on the "broken family".  In 4th grade, the counselor realized it wasn't an emotional problem, it was ADHD and she told my daughter's doctor what she thought.  Within a few months of starting to take the Adderall, my daughter suddenly had a much wider circle of friends, most of whom I like a lot.  She still likes to play "class clown" to some level - that was her only way of getting the kids to pay attention (i.e., to "like" her) in the early years. Now they expect it of her, but it has toned down in the 2 years she's been medicated. She's also very athletic so she still has lots of friends who happen to be boys.  But she's SOOO much happier and therefore, everyone is happier!

If he's been diagnosed ADHD, I'd strongly recommend you try whatever your doctor recommends, whether its counseling or medication or preferably both.  Kids get labeled early on, both by their peers and by the teachers. My daughter has been able to mostly overcome that stigma, but it has taken a long time. 

Do any of you have children that seem to have a hard time making/keeping friends?  My son is very social and eager to be friendly, but he so hyper that it seems like no one wants to hang out with him.   He has a few friends that have been close to him since he was a baby, but not many new ones have ventured to join his little social circle.   I'm scared to death that when he goes to Kindergarten in the fall, no one will want to be his friend.  It will just break his heart.   Do any of you have examples of how your kids have been able to keep friends or how I could socialize my son in a way that will help him?

My son is a lot like yours Suzanne and JayneLizzie. He's 5 and will be starting Kindergarten in the fall. (currently in K-4 at public school) My son is one of the "rough ones", as his teacher calls him. She said that he and 2 other "rough" boys in the class are the best of friends. My son is very loud and tends to get too close, in their face, but in an innocent way.  He is very hyper at times and earlier in the year his ADHD wasn't being properly treated, so he was ALL OUT WILD!! The teacher said that he had begun to get the label of "bad kid" to some of the other kids in the class.  One parent even told me in a grocery store..."Oh, THIS is Tanner. Lindlie says he doesn't listen." UGH!!!!!  His teacher said that the boys who he hangs with have caused problems in the class, and when my son gets in trouble, it is undoubtably with one of these boys. We just moved into a new neighborhood, and I'm so hopeful that he's going to make a fresh start with these kids. He's made friends with younger boy (4) down the street and likes to play with him, but he is SOOO hyper that the boy tends to back off from playing with my son when he gets that way. The kid across the street is a little older and gets tired of my son VERY quickly, as does one of the other boys up the street. I'm hoping that my son can pick up on how they play and calm down, but he doesn't seem to pick up on these cues very well. 

UGGHHH!! I can't wait until we start therapy. I want him well into it by the time he starts kindergarten at a new school. Hopefully he will change so that kids like him. It's so hard seeing him struggle this way. So, I DO understand what you guys are talking about.

My daughter has a wide circle of friends also..........some are "Misfits" and some are not.  She is invited to sleep overs and play days.  I have heard her friends tell her to calm down or relax or don't talk so much..... I think out of her close group (there are 6 of them) there is only 1 who is not a  hair raising wild child...  Most of her buddies have been friends since they were in K and they are all going to be going into grade 4 this fall.

  Jaynelizzy, ray.leanne, & Momof2inSC, thank you for your responses.  It's great to hear other people's experiences and I appreicate your comments greatly.  It's nice to know that I'm not the only one experiencing these things. 

  And yes, Momof2inSC, my son gets in kids faces (innocently too) all of the time and it drives them nuts.  He just has a very small personal space and thinks everyone else does too! :)