Closure: Love it or Hate it? | ADHD Information

When I'm doing something that I really enjoy; coming to the end is very hard for me also, so I prolong finishing the task, project, etc. whereas most people assume that I am procrastinating.

But I also start out doing anything with a lot of enthusiasm and the will to complete it, then I get bogged down especially if it becomes more difficult than I assumed and more so than not never get around to finishing.

I try not to get involved in a whole bunch of things because I choose not to do this anymore. It only brings down my self-esteem and I beat myself up all over again for all the other things I never completed, and a new project will only add more pain. I'm trying to get over the pain of having this disorder by not setting myself up for failure.

Hi, all.

Just wondering if anyone else here has closure issues. The kind I refer to are the kind that prevent me from paining the last 2 stairs, etc.

I painted the attic and the stairs leading to it in Oct -Nov...Dec..2004, but there are still 2 seemingly randomly placed (I DID have a method, sort of) white stairs. No matter how embarrassing it is to explain this to people when they come over (which I keep to a minimum when possible), I may never paint them brown like the rest.. It would be so easy...

I don't think I avoid it because I'm distracted by other things; I think I really don't want it finished for some reason. I do this with all kinds of things... anyone else?
I have problems finishing things too. Is that what you meant to say on your post?

Very, very odd behaviour...

I always finish those kind of things... It would drive me to insanity if I did not complete those things.

I'm more like "ditzychick"... althought I can complete big things if the mean something to me... like, I wan't a good and maintained home... It would stress me to death to have allot of unfinished stuff around me...

I have unfinished arts & crafts projects from my younger years packed in boxes and never finished. Every time I would get bored or depressed I would need to keep myself busy and go buy some type of art project or stithcing/sewing, etc.

Difficulty maintaining interest in something once it's started, and therefore a failure to finish is one of the primary symptoms of AD(H)D. I'm surprised to hear that some of you don't have this problem - Hell, I wish I didn't have it...

Mark -

[QUOTE=Mark Goode]Difficulty maintaining interest in something once it's started, and therefore a failure to finish is one of the primary symptoms of AD(H)D. I'm surprised to hear that some of you don't have this problem - Hell, I wish I didn't have it...

Mark -[/QUOTE]

It might have something to do with personality also... I am a very curious person, whom in other peoples eyes seem to be fascinated by almost everything... that is my drive... and then, It is very stimulating for me to reach my goal... to finish something that interests me...

We come in so different forms...

I never finish things either. I have a simple little cross stitch baby bib to do for my daughter, and guess what? She's 11 years old now!

I also have always written on the backs of my pictures, and organized them into separate books for the kids. This is SO important to me, but I am at least 5 years behind on that.

I have dozens of books that I've never even read. This is also frustrating because I know so many people who read for enjoyment and I'm sure it's good for the mind. I just can't seem to do it. Although now that I'm on meds, I've started a book and it's going very well. If I finish it, I will know that my meds are truly working. I guess I should really test myself and start working on the picture project. I just dread it because I'm sure it'll take about 100 straight hours to complete. Yikes!

I can NEVER finish things.

Perhaps I don't like the feeling after you finish something of "now what should I do?" It's a sort of empty feeling. It would be so easy to finish something and move onto the next, but having 5 unfinished projects gives me a sense of purpose and something to worry about.

Maybe the 2 stairs give you something to focus on. I can finish making a cake because I get to eat it and make another one, but I can't clean out my cupboards or paint the stairs, because after it is done, what would I have to worry about?

Bit self defeating, but that's me!

You know, I have a lot of the add symptoms but ONE thing I do notice is that I really don't have a problem with finishing things. Although, a big project like painting or something i'd have to have my husband do, or pay somebody!

So, maybe in my subconscious mind I know i"ll get frustrated DOING the project...Well, I guess I PREVENT procrastination by avoiding certain tasks because I know myself.

ALthough, when I start cleaning, I HAVE to get it done. I hate starting to clean something and not finish it!

I used to procratinate when I was younger when it came to school work ALL the time. I used to pull all nighters, and study the NIGHT before the test! Now, since I learned from pulling all nighters the hard way, I FORCE myself to do the school work but it seems like the outcome IS WORSE! When I pulled all nighters I would usually pass with a C!! And my last test that I studied so HARD for(a week ahead everyday) I ended up getting a D!!

I'm so bad with organizing...sorry guys but I'm in a raving, ranting mood right now! ditzychick38438.865787037[QUOTE=ditzychick]You know, I have a lot of the add symptoms but ONE thing I do notice is that I really don't have a problem with finishing things. Although, if I had a big project like painting or something, i'd have to have my husband do it, or pay somebody!

So, maybe in my subconscious mind I know i'll get frustrated DOING the project...Well, I guess I PREVENT procrastination by choosing not do do certain(harder)tasks because I know how I am!

ALthough, when I start cleaning, I HAVE to get it done. I hate starting to clean something and not finish it!

I used to procratinate when I was younger when it came to school work ALL the time. I used to pull all nighters, and study the NIGHT before the test! Now, since I learned from it, I FORCE myself to do school work but it seems like the outcome IS WORSE! When I pulled all nighters I would usually pass with a C!! And my last test that I studied so HARD for(a week ahead everyday) and got a D!!

I'm so bad with organizing...sorry guys but I'm in a raving, ranting mood right now![/QUOTE] THERE I GO BEING A DITZ AGAIN!!

Sorry, I tried to edit something and I hit quote thinking it was the same as editing!! DUUUUHHHHH!

[QUOTE=Taag Man]

[QUOTE=GypsyWomyn]Isn't that the point we've all been making on this entire Board? Don't we ALL want a good, maintained home and life? And to be able to finish things! I mean, aren't we all just about (or actually ARE) driven to insanity from not being able to finish things? I know I am! [/QUOTE]
You really should stop over interpreting my messages, and seeing them as growling attacks upon your being...
I can not focus on this anymore...[/QUOTE]
[Quote=Reizende]It's okay Taag, I think she is just emphasizing and empathizing that we are all suffering from the same problem.[/quote]

Thank you, Reizende...precisely what I was doing! Hey, Taag, that was meant to be a little humorous. I was not being defensive, nor did I take what you said as an attack on me.

You said you finish things, because otherwise it would drive you crazy...I'm just saying not all of us can, and it does drive us crazy. And you're very fortunate if you can. That's all. You 'overinterrpreted' me in this case.

Here's another example of me being humorous in an unhumourous world -- if you "cannot focus on this anymore", then go clean your house. Or better yet, please come and clean mine. I guess your sense of humor it a bit different than mine. Sorry.

Guess I should go stand in the corner for a time-out. GypsyWomyn38439.6844560185[QUOTE=Taag Man]

Very, very odd behaviour...

I always finish those kind of things... It would drive me to insanity if I did not complete those things.

[/QUOTE]

So, what subtype are you Tag? A combined type, like adhd/add?

[QUOTE=ditzychick]So, what subtype are you Tag? A combined type, like adhd/add?[/QUOTE]

I am waiting to get a professional diagnosis, but some test I have taken show that I am a combined type, but more Inattentive, than hyper.... and that is the feeling I have myself...

Most things for me are like rolling a snowball uphill. At the beginning it is really easy going and all is great, and as the task progresses it gets more and more difficult to proceed. The last few steps usually never get done until I have a whole bunch of other projects underway and I somehow force myself. The last foot of wallpaper I'm removing in a room, etc. will sit for ages.

When I do laundry, the most of it gets put away within a day or two of starting it, but there is a pile on top of the dryer that has been there for the past 4 months, not always the same stuff, but always there.

All these unfinished things bug me unbelievably, but I can't do them. I know from when I do actually complete something that I will feel a sense of accomplishment (or relieve my guilty concience for some things) if I finish, but I just can't. It's like there is a force-field keeping me from doing it. Rolling a snowball uphill.

[QUOTE=Taag Man]

Very, very odd behaviour...

I always finish those kind of things... It would drive me to insanity if I did not complete those things.

[/QUOTE]

question: DOES ANYONE HERE FEEL OVERLY TRIUMPHANT WHEN THEY ACTUALLY DO FINISH SOMETHING?

LIKE MY POOR HUSBAND WILL REVEL IN THE FACT THAT THE DISHES ARE FINALLY(!) DONE, FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT!!....only to come crashing down 3 days later when the sink is full again. and then it takes him another 2, 3 weeks or so to FINALLY finish the last of the dishes again, and the cycle repeats itself.

[QUOTE=Taag Man]

You really should stop over interpreting my messages, and seeing them as growling attacks upon your being...

I can not focus on this anymore...

[/QUOTE]

It's okay Taag, I think she is just emphasizing and empathizing that we are all suffering from the same problem. 8 )

Sometimes I don't even want to try to finish my projects for the worn out tired feeling I get. It feels like a ran a marathon if I do anything that requires more thought than deciding on eating soup or salad. Sometimes I just order both. lol

[QUOTE=MicheleRW222]I never finish things either.� I have a simple little cross stitch baby bib to do for my daughter, and guess what?� She's 11 years old now!�
I also have always written on the backs of my pictures, and organized them into separate books for the kids.� This is SO important to me, but I am at least 5 years behind on that.[/QUOTE]

Michele...Perhaps you'll have the cross-stitch finished by the time she gives you a grandchild?

What our entire family finally ended up doing with photos is just putting them in boxes. Then when we all got together (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.), we'd dump them all out on the floor and had a blast looking at them all. But I definitely agree, it's important to put who/dates on back of photos! I have my photos from over time in envelopes and then put those in boxes. So much easier, and takes up less space, too.

[quote=Taag Man]I always finish those kind of things... It would drive me to insanity if I did not complete those things.

I'm more like "ditzychick"... althought I can complete big things if the mean something to me... like, I wan't a good and maintained home... It would stress me to death to have allot of unfinished stuff around me...[/quote]

Isn't that the point we've all been making on this entire Board? Don't we ALL want a good, maintained home and life? And to be able to finish things! I mean, aren't we all just about (or actually ARE) driven to insanity from not being able to finish things? I know I am!

One of my biggest goals is to scan ALL of my photos and burn them to cd, and then put them in a fire-safe box. I am scared to death that one day my house will burn down and I will lose all my photos, because it happened to my mom. She has a grand total of two pictures of herself as a child. I can't see myself ever committing to that, though.

I can see what some of you mean by not wanting to finish things. I finished a cross-stich project a couple of weeks ago that I had been working on, on and off, for the past 5 and a half years. It felt kind of surreal - like a small part of my life was now finished. LOL. It also meant I was allowed to start something new... and I hate the "getting started" phase of projects, the gathering/sorting/organizing of materials, etc.

You really should stop over interpreting my messages, and seeing them as growling attacks upon your being...

I can not focus on this anymore...