Please Help My Head Hurts | ADHD Information

Hi, I'm new to this message board so Hi  My name's Gav and I'm 21, I've recently been referred to a phychiatrist (again) this time in relation to Adhd. See, I've been treat for depression and anxiety ever since I was about 17 and I kept going back and explaining that the treatment wasn't working. So then they'd change my meds,increase my meds,take my of meds and one doc even told my I was lazy and should give my self a kick up the ass (i'll show you kick up the ass!) So now I've found a doc who's understanding and willing to listen which is great, she's admitted that she doesn't know that much about adhd but she reasurred me that she'd do what she could to get me taken seriously. My life's been confusing up until now and my attention has always been a big problem for me, like sometimes when people are talking, their lips are moving but nothings coming out.I'm impulsive too, with spending espeically (but I dont know another 21 year old who isn't lol) But the classic, thinking trough fog description rings true for me aswell, thinking is such an effort. I've always known that there was something wrong and that I wasn't normal and I used to get bullyed at school for this. So my self-esteem has been low from a young age. As a kid, I was abusive and had difficulty controlling what I said to people, but now I've calmed down a lot with my behaviour. Most of the problems have became internal.Now, I can see the adhd in my other family members which would explain their behaviour and problems (my uncle is extremeley anti-social and my mum has had her fair share of troubles-and can't seem to keep her mouth shut) but they aren't as willing to consider adhd as an explanation. Basically, since about two years ago, when I finally figured that there was some kind of long term problem here, I can't stop these thinking about myself, not the kind of thoughts where you sit down and ponder on something, but thoughts that I don't even control. It really gets me down and wears me out. Some days, every thing I do, I analyse, and sometimes I analyse every thought I have. I try telling myself that its' just because I've got into this habit of looking at myself to figure out whats wrong with me. But I just feel bad. It just makes me feel so selfish.I mean I do try to empathise with others but this stuff is pretty self absorbed. Some days it's ok and those days are great but others aren't so good. It seems to be worse in the mornings when I wake up for work, the thoughts just stream through my mind without any control over them. I was just wondering if there other people who do this, and if you have any advice or strategies.  

Sorry this message was long and thank you for your time

I, too, have a tendancy to analyze every thought. I haven't gotten a formal diagnosis for ADD but I feel (some days ) as if ADD is my problem. This I analyze , too. :) because my entire life I have been told that I am just lazy. So this thought creeps up...maybe I am just lazy.  Being lazy is what everyone seems to see about me.  Several people in my family seem to have the ADD symptoms too...but no one has ever wanted to admit anything is wrong with them mentally (like it is some terrible thing to admit that something is wrong).  I have been afraid to admit to most of my family that I am going to be tested for ADD soon because of this. My husband, who thinks it is terrible to have to take a pill to get thru the day, has been VERY supportive of my decision to seek out this diagnosis. He was a little skeptical at first until I had him fill out a check list about me from the Amen Clinic (you can find this online). Then he realized that this was "for real" and wants me to feel better about myself and be able to function somewhat normally.  I wish you the best in seeking out what will be best for you.

 

Renita