Random lying... Is it "normal"? | ADHD Information

Hi, I'm entirely new to this forum, and have actually not been officially diagnosed with AD(H)D, but have extensively reviewed the material and read personal commentary, and am entirely confident that I have made a valid self-diagnosis.  Probably too much background information, so I apologize.

Anyway, I have noticed lately that when I talk to people I don't know very well I lie to them about really irrelevant things that are obviously not true.  I used to do it to save time (ie dropping the "boyfriend" bomb to stop a boy from hitting on me), but it has become entirely unintentional at this point.  I frequently make gross overgeneralizations that directly contradict something I said only minutes earlier.

I post this because although I identify with a lot of what others are posting, I still feel outcast and nervous for my sanity.  Anyone who experiences this or something similar, please let me know, and if you have found something that works to end it, please let me know about that as well...

Thank you for reading this, and any responses will make me feel better!

It doesn't sound like the lying is random but you may be doing it to fit in or feel more comfortable.

Fatputty,

I used to do this all the time!! Each time I did it, I would be so angry at myself!! Why did I just do that!!! And not to really agree with livingwithadd, but it was rather convenient, to make conversation or fill time, but I still didnt have to do it.  I made a conscious effort to stop.  Which was very hard.  A couple of things changed in my life...I became a Christian, which made me accountable for each lie, I became a mom, and I couldnt set this type of example for my kids, and I started my meds(straterra). which allowed me to really see what I was doing.    To be honest, the meds made it the easiest.  I am able to just shut up when I dont need to talk.  Dont feel bad, just if we ever meet, dont lie  !! Go to your Dr. and see what works for you.  I am also attenting some support groups.

I don't think I do this anymore (unless I'm drunk).  When I was a kid I'd tell some whoppers, right up to my early twenties I guess.

These days I will exaggerate or modify a tale slightly if I think it will make it funnier or more entertaining, but lying just for the hell of it is thankfully only in the past.

Mark -

Lying as an adult for no clear reason is typically a sign of low self esteem. You may not feel you are good enough to tell the truth about you. If people have a problem with who you are, it is there problem not yours. Never apologize or lie about who you are, it isn't worth. Find pride in what you do, and what you stand for. I used to lie to strangers in my early adulthood, just for the hell of it. I could be anyone to them, and I was. Then, I got to the point that I love who I am, and everyone who thinks differently can bite me. Be confident in yourself.

Lying is common with ADHD, as I have found with my step-daughter. However, it isn't for the sake of lying. She does it to avoid getting into trouble, or because she just plain has forgotten what the truth is.

I am curios how old you are, if that isn't too personal? I ask because in young adulthood, people are starting to really figure out who they are. It is fun to make up lies to test out different ideas about who we are. However, when it becomes a habitual thing, you need to look at why. I hope this helps.

stepmom2maddy38444.8849884259

I will say I am not a lyer in general. However, the problem with my brain being so forgetful is that when I tell my life story to people and pieces are missing, my mouth just fills them in. 8( Then when I am back by myself again I take a step back and think to myself. "Did that really happen in my life? Or did I run out of memories?" Usually I find it isn't far off base what I have said. Just the wrong settings where the story takes place or the wrong dates etc. Someone who knows me will then tell me what happened and I get a blank stare on my face and go "oh".

 

 

I was just watching this movie about this Catholic family in Poland in 1942.  They were hiding a person and a pig in their home.  2+2 = 7, to say the alternative would be very dangerous.  They were lying for survival. 

Sometimes people lie for survival on a lesser level - to keep a job, to avoid being emotionally injured. 

Being honest is a luxury that I'm glad I have most of the time. 

When I was in kindergarden, I remember when someone would say their birthday was that day, I would chime in that "Oh! Mine is next week," which it wasn't. I know I was just trying to 'fit in' which I didn't even at such a young age. Hmmm could it have something to do with all the birthdays I had each year?   

But as an adult, I think I'm the most honest person I know. So when people accuse me of lying, it really hurts!     And people love a scapegoat, that's me! I've been a victim all my life. And I don't understand, other than since because of my big, loud mouth and quick temper, I'm just not liked, so I'm the easiest one to pick on, which is the reason I get so upset to begin with! Have I gotten off the topic here? hmmm

So when there's no one to blame for something, I so often get picked as the scapegoat...even if I'm adament that I do not lie and would admit something if I did it (and I would)!

Just last year, I was accused of going inside someone's RV when they weren't there, because something was missing, and I was seen walking by their place. Duh, everyone walks by their place on way to Rec Room or showers. I was just the easiest victim because I'm not all that liked by many in this Park. I also tried one day to get this person's dogs back into their cage, which they had gotten out of. Who was accused of letting them out? Yep, me.

If only they knew how honest I really was, they would feel foolish. GypsyWomyn38445.5632986111

 

I don't lie much but there are times when i have said nothing when a subject comes up.  I simply fail to add to that part of the conversation when I have information or experience related to the topic that may well be applicable.

I probably do this because I've found that it sometimes isn't in my interest to share as much as I could.  I also decide at that time that it isn't really my obligation / their business, etc. 

I think it's hard on a person to lie. 

Used to lie often and well.  Could make people believe  almost anything.  As I grew up more and more situations occured were I felt comfortable telling the truth, especially about myself.  I think lying about oneself is a menace generally.  Aside from the self-preservation and desparation scenarios mentioned earlier, I found myself discovering more and more ways NOT to lie. 

Sometimes (when I could restrain myself) I just said nothing.  Other times-conversationally (and this is a good one where possible) I just ask a question back.  Most people like to talk about themselves.  What has really done it for me, however, is my girlfriend--->wife.  She is one of the most virtuous people I have ever met.  She is scrupulously honest.  Aside from Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy I cannot think of anything she ever lies about.  Her exemplary example gradually converted me to a point where I seldom lie.  When I do lie, it is because I feel vulnerable to criticism from others.  This does not happen very often. 

The main point of this ramble is that like other good habits.  Being around and associating with honest people has led me to adopt similar habist
ghead
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Hi, I am new also and I have just been formally diagnosed with ADHD.  My friends (mostly medical) have been telling me for years that I have ADHD.  I have a daughter and a grandchild with ADHD also.  I have not had the problem with lying but I have the problem with talking constantly.  I don't like myself that way. I have gained so much insight into ADHD and myself by reading "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy" by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo.

My daughter (age 32) was diagnosed years ago and now I call her and ask her about my medication etc. She has finally decided that she is not stupid and is gaining her self confidence she needs to be sucessful.

See a doctor, I regret that the psychiatrist I was seeing did not work with adult ADHD, I could have had help years ago!!!  My grandchild's psychologist (new to us) diagnosed me and sent me to a doc with ADD himself.  He understands!!!

Ask when you call if the doc treats Adult ADHD

See I do talk all the time!

 

 

As a youngster I always lied to avoid conflict.  I just can't tolerate any sort of conflict, and will do nearly anything to get out of the situation.  When I was young I would lie about nearly anything to keep from getting in trouble, or to keep people from thinking I am stupid.  These days I know the consequences of these lies, and will tell the truth unless I feel really pinned against the wall and facing dire consequences if the truth comes out.  I also now know better than to get in those situations to begin with.

That said, I am also one of the most honest people I know.  If I found a bag full of money on the street I would take it to the police station.  If I find a quarter on the floor at the store I return it to the cashier.  You could trust me with everything you own, and it would be totally safe (unless of course I accidentally left it somewhere !).