Looking Back | ADHD Information

[QUOTE=buccaneer] Just think how bloody incredible we all are for successfully navigating life in a world designed to work against our talents! Three hurrahs for US! And of course, lets not forget those ADDers who
have not been as successful.

As for looking back...would rather not! Buddist philosophy suggests that the emotion of the past is regret, the future, hope and the present, contentment. Could explain why I am happy in the moment, dislike the past and don't count on the future! [/QUOTE]

I did poorly in school, was ruthlessly teased and ridiculed as a child, which contributed to a very unhappy childhood, quit junior college after 1/2 a semester (only school I could barely get in with my grades), lost many of my hundreds of jobs, lost or lost out on friends, self-medicated with drugs and alcohol, which just lead to and created new problems. (Clean & sober over 12 yrs now!)

I don't know how successful I've actually been, but I do know I "survived." I was always able to support myself, remain pretty healthy (physically at least), and wake up each morning with the thought "this day will be the day it all changes, and I'll be "normal" like everyone else."

I don't think I navigated very well in the past, but at least I finally, after 50+ years, discovered explainations and help. Now, I have no excuses, and can only forge onward with new life skills and hope I can be content to where life has lead me (and who knows where it'll lead me!) Now I wake up every morning thinking, "This will be the day everything changes, and people will realize I march to the beat of a different drummer....so accept me as I am or just leave me alone!"

DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), which I've mentioned in previous posts, is based on Buddist philosophy. That may explain why my therapist wouldn't let me talk about my past, although I still think it would have been helpful to me. But I see the benefits of not looking back, but living in the moment and never counting on the future! Sheer willpower. I had support sometimes, but it was often lacking because my family had so many of their own problems they were powerless to help me, and even my good friends who've stuck by me through everything couldn't really understand, rarely knew what to say, and weren't really able to provide any tangible help.
Willpower, music, crying jags and coffee were what got me through college, especially after my mom went nuts for a while and cost me all my financial aid. My own pride and that occasional, much-needed emotional support got me through all that came after.
You can do anything you set your mind to. It's harder for us to set our minds, is all.
Just think how bloody incredible we all are for successfully navigating life in a world designed to work against our talents! Three hurrahs for US! And of course, lets not forget those ADDers who have not been as successful.

As for looking back...would rather not! Buddist philosophy suggests that the emotion of the past is regret, the future, hope and the present, contentment. Could explain why I am happy in the moment, dislike the past and don't count on the future!

I have made it this far being a mediocre student, a scatter-brained slob, & being labeled "slow" by my peers & co-workers. 8( It hurts but it does help to know how I got here. I just wish I could fix it all and make it all go away.

My boyfriend asked me an interesting question. If you have this ADHD thing how did you make it this far?

So I decided to look back. Yes I did OK in school. Yes I graduated from college (in seven years) Ok so I have a decent job. How did I do it?

Support! My friends while I was growing up always looked out for me. In school I always had "mother figures" for friends. You know the ones that remind you about a test coming up or remind you about your homework etc. In college as well. I always wondered why I would attract these sort of people as friends, I guess now I know.

The only job I got fired from I had noone to do this for me. It was a auto parts delivery job and I constantly forgot where I was going or what I was taking...I chalked it up to stress as I had just had my daughter and got another delivery job at another dealership. The manager there hated my old boss and hired me pronto just to prove that my failure was a managing failure. He assigned me a buddy to check my orders and to call me and remind me where I was going. At the time I hated it but I was able to work there for three years. I only drove off without an engine once but my buddy called me before I got to far

My job now leaves plenty of room for forgetfulness and everyone accepts that I will forget or have already forgotten whatever. I don't have to tell anyone to remind me they just do and they are fairly nice about it. I can solve problems and fix things without trying to explain how I did it. My mother keeps track of my appointments with me so I have two calendar to glance at. My boyfriend is constantly checking the doors for my keys and my car to make sure I've closed the doors and set the alarm.

I'm surprised all this time no one has told me hey you need some help. They all just figure that's how she is. My nickname as a kid Absent Minded Professor. Talk about hand writing on the wall!

That's how I've made it so far. How have you made it so far. Especially if you've been diagnosed as an adult?

[QUOTE=kay's mom]How have you made it so far. Especially if you've been diagnosed as an adult?[/QUOTE]

How did I make it? God only knows, 'cos I don't.

Mark -

Mark Goode38447.3983796296My innate intelligence got me through primary school, and a persistent, terrifying fear of failure got me through high school and university. It didn't keep me from procrastinating, but it certainly allowed me to get my assignments in just in the nick of time.

I'm not too sure why I was so afraid of failing. Maybe because all my life, I had been told over and over how smart I was, and I even used to be Teacher's Pet. I had so much expectation built up around me, that I could not have handled it if I let everybody else down. After I graduated from university (by then I was starting to relax the "fear of failure" thing, and opted for early graduation so I wouldn't have to go through a 4th year), I tried to get a college certificate in Human Resources. I completed two out of 12 courses (barely), and then dropped out. That time, I didn't have anybody watching my every move, expecting wonderful things from me.

Job-wise, well... that has been my ultimate failure. I am nowhere near where I want to be. I'm not SURE where it is that I want to be.

I worked a dozen jobs in less than 3 years, and have only been at my current job this long because it is full time with steady hours. I guess I'm afraid to let go of the routine structure of a Mon-Fri job. I'd never had that before.
[QUOTE=Mark Goode]

[QUOTE=kay's mom]How have you made it so far. Especially if you've been diagnosed as an adult?[/QUOTE]

How did I make it? God only knows, 'cos I don't.

Mark -

[/QUOTE]

Gee sorry Mark I didn't mean to bring up bad times. I hope you are doing okay now..