39 just diagnosed-Please help | ADHD Information
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In my opinion, add consists of stuff like forgetfulness, the fog, difficulty waiting to respond, boredom and the need for stimulation, etc. This is the kinds of stuff that medication and specific add treatments help a lot with.
In my opinion, some of the other stuff like being sensitive to criticism, depressed, anxious, angry, stubborn, jeolous and controlling, etc may be a reaction to the experience of having add but isn't really add. This is the kind of stuff that people can often actually control and can take care of through counseling.
Personally, I spent half a year in counseling to deal with some of my own stuff and it helped a lot.
It's impossible to control another person or a situation. So, your wife may or may not choose to come back. However, there's a lot you can choose to control related to yourself and your future.
I have to agree with what Stick... wrote. I'm 38, diagnosed 8 years ago. The core symptoms are those that show up in the checklists for add/adhd, the other stuff is luggage or co-morbid conditions. That is not to say that the other feelings/actions/symptoms you noted are not some serious shxx. I personally, went through an episode of rages so bad that my own mother told my wife she should divorce me! My wife is however, just as stubborn as I am, and did not give up on me. She took the view that it was a chemical imbalance problem and let me and my shrink work on it with meds. Ta Da????? At any rate, things got better in short enough order that we are happily married today and I don't go postal.
As for the controlling aspect of things; along with the acronym HALT, I got one other useful mental tool out of my many ____ anonymous meetings I attended before knowing that I was self medicating. They have what's called the Serenity Prayer. I have a mutant version for people such as my wife and yourself who feel a need to control others:
God (or fill in the blank) grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change- other people, the courage to change the things I can - myself, and the wisdom to know and remember the difference.
apoligize if I got too preachy, pedantic or pushy
ghead
< =""> [QUOTE=Stickbowshtr]
My question is that I have a very bad jealousy and control problem with my wife. My question is, is my jealousy and control issues brought on by my ADHD and is there any hope for me.
[/QUOTE]
In my opinion, add consists of stuff like forgetfulness, the fog, difficulty waiting to respond, boredom and the need for stimulation, etc. This is the kinds of stuff that medication and specific add treatments help a lot with.
In my opinion, some of the other stuff like being sensitive to criticism, depressed, anxious, angry, stubborn, jeolous and controlling, etc may be a reaction to the experience of having add but isn't really add. This is the kind of stuff that people can often actually control and can take care of through counseling.
Personally, I spent half a year in counseling to deal with some of my own stuff and it helped a lot.
It's impossible to control another person or a situation. So, your wife may or may not choose to come back. However, there's a lot you can choose to control related to yourself and your future.
I'm not sure if this will help, but here it goes;
I was diagnosed at the age of 38 (just last year). The reason for the official diagnosis steams from the marital problems that my wife said we had (news to me. I thougt everything was cool). I was put on Ritalin and it has been a life-saver, although my wife still left. Told me she found someone else (talk about adding to self-esteem problems). I was very depressed for quite a while.
The Ritalin helped with alot of focus issues as well as the mood swings. I now can deal with alot of the problems that I have had for a long time, and can also handle the divorce prceedings better (as long as most of it occurs before my meds wear off).
Does it get better? It did for me. Found someone else 
(quite a bit younger than me) and told her about my ADD and what to expect so there will be no surprises for her.
So far, so good.
Schwep
That's a tough one, and I don't know the answer. I was once the jealous kind, and it certainly didn't do my relationships with former wives/girlfriends any good. It's probably related to ADHD, though I'd guess it has more to do with the low self esteem that ADHD brings than the ADHD itself. You have my sympathy, and so does your wife - I've been there. The jealous rage is not voluntary, and is accompanied by self-loathing, right? You hate yourself for it but you can't help it (that's how it was for me anyway).
How did I get cured? I dunno. Perhaps it was the realization that possesiveness and jealousy was causing exactly what I feared - but I doubt it - It's not subject to rational control. Perhaps it's because my present wife reacts to any attempt to prevent her going out with the words 'get stuffed', and then goes out anyway. Or maybe it's because I'm old and grey now and no longer have the enthusiasm for fits of jealousy. Or maybe it's because my wife's ugly and I don't care... 
Seriously though, talk to your doc/shrink - it's what they're supposed to be experts on. Other than that, good luck and I hope things work out for you.
Mark -
Hello all, this is my first post. I was just diagnosed with ADHD five days ago. Is this what has been wrong all of my life. I have just about every symptom there is. My wife left me six days ago and I dont blame her. I am a very hard person to live with. I have all of the basic symptoms like anxiety, terrible forgetfulness,depression, low self esteem,mood swings, very disorganized, very irritable most of the time, sensitve to noise, sensitivity to criticism, lack of motivation, short term memory problems, cannot stay with a conversation, very negative about most things, impulsive actions(get upset about anything and cannot let it go-have to say somthing). I am also very stress intollerant and I am also always, always in a hurry no matter what I am doing.
There are also several other things in my life like the fact I have had 29 broken bones. My question is that I have a very bad jealousy and control problem with my wife. I worry constantly that she will leave me and never come back. I would not blame her, I think the symptoms of ADHA have made me about impossible to live with. The doctor put me on strattera five days ago and I am counceling all I can for this. I seem to be feeling quite a bit better already. My question is, is my jealousy and control issues brought on by my ADHD and is there any hope for me. I need to say that my wife has never done anything except get upset because of the way I act all of the time. PLEASE HELP!
fe has never done anything except get upset for the way I act all the time.