Antisocial | ADHD Information

It seems the last 3-4 years I have gotten to the point I don't like hanging out with the average person. I am not anxious or fearful of strangers, but interacting with them gets tedious. It's so boring. The topics they discuss are boring. 8(

On the other hand, talking to all of you is extremely fun. You are all the kind of people I always gravitated towards. 8)

Back in college I would tell people I was a bit different, but that I enjoyed life & that everyone else was just being a stick in the mud.

LOL I sooo agree with you. "Normals" are boring feels like a chore to have to deal with them. I've always noticed that I tend to get along better with "weird" people. Normals are just waaaaay too boring, and rarely have a sense of humour to match my own. i JUST EXPECT TO BE TREATED THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. gOOD CHARACTER.

Yep, I do the same thing, although I have a few friends who have endured over the years. I do have to say, those few lasting friends are indeed what i'd call "quirky", very atypical (keeps my attention), they tend to be deep thinking intellectuals (need the stimulating conversations), have odd interests and if I chose to delve further, i'd guess they also have ADHD. The other characteristic about the lasting friendships is that they tend to vary in terms of closeness. I could see them every day for a month, then not for several months or years, but still have them as close friends. I guess maybe they understand that when I have had enough (due to overstimulation, boredom, whatever), I have to sort of back up a bit. They are always there when I return though, and man, do I appreciate that.

[QUOTE=MafiaKiddo]I use people up pretty quickly too. Like at first you meet them and there interesting because they are new and there is alot you don't know. Once you know them for awhile it gets stale. I seem to change friends every couple years because I can't stand hanging out with them after awhile. [/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=bcgirl1978]I've always noticed that I tend to get along better with "weird" people. Normals are just waaaaay too boring, and rarely have a sense of humour to match my own. [/QUOTE]

I have to agree with that one! "Normal" people are not very interesting to me. Same with the sense of humour thing, too. Some people are just too serious all the time.

All my good friends are "weird" in various ways. I'm happy with that, LoL.

The funny part about it all, is at a very early age I fit the whole ADD persona. My best friends were a few elderly senior citizens my mother used to hang out with.

Somehow they were always interesting people no clue why.

I use people up pretty quickly too. Like at first you meet them and there interesting because they are new and there is alot you don't know. Once you know them for awhile it gets stale. I seem to change friends every couple years because I can't stand hanging out with them after awhile. [QUOTE=Reizende]

The funny part about it all, is at a very early age I fit the whole ADD persona. My best friends were a few elderly senior citizens my mother used to hang out with.

Somehow they were always interesting people no clue why.[/QUOTE]

Same here, Reizende! I think it's because my mother's friends or other 'elderly' people I befriended would accept me or like me for who I was, whereas my peers wouldn't. Or else it could be they just felt sorry for me. But I didn't see it that way at the time. In any case, they were good for my self-esteem.Same here, except I also have to add I can't stand talking to Republican/Conservatives types... most of the time. My best friend is a Republican, Bush supporting Christian. We still get along even though I'm an Anarchist or Socialist, Bush-hating Iraqi war veteran and atheist. But it's a source of friction, and she's the only one I can tolerate for any length of time... no offense to anyone around here. I don't mean if you like Bush, or are Christian or whatever I dont like you... I'm talking about the whole package and mind set that I seem to find so often in the military and in texas.

One of the greatest things I've found about this board is the number of "wow, that wasn't just me after all" posts.

Despite being a fairly outgoing, gregarious person with many interests and a decent sense of humor, my friends (from grade school on) have always been a little off-center. Yeah, people of a like type generally gravitate towards eachother, but my best friends...as well as co-workers, relatives and others...have all been just a little bit on the unpredictable side, self-deprecating and willing to be themselves regardless of the audience. They are also tolerant of my many foibles, and share in the same sort of approach to not taking oneself too seriously. But that's just me...

[QUOTE=sonya_h]

sometimes, i don't feel like being courteous. I don't feel like constantly making sure that I am extending adequate social graces to people...i don't feel like always making sure everything that comes out of my mouth is nice and sounds perfectly acceptable to the other person....

that's takes a lot of work for an ad/hder, get's tiring after a while

for real friends, i want to let my real self "hang out"...that can like it or leave it...[/QUOTE]

Exactly..my point entirely 8)

The most socializing I have to do is at work. All around me there are people that find the kooky hyper antics and fun quips I make off the wall to be highly irrational and irritating. I always come back and say I want work to be a fun place & people act like a bunch of party-poopers. Of course I get the line "grow up", but since when is enjoying life & being playful childish? I'll admit I love legos & coloring books, but you don't see me bringing that stuff to work with me because I am bored. Believe it or not, when I was I kid I "colored inside the lines" and I must say, watching some of the others not color inside the lines was frustrating..to this day I sometimes hold back for fear of what society thinks. Of course I follow the rules & all the laws, but I am talking embracing being unique.

I always thought it might be nice to have aquamarine hair. Not to be a shocker, not to be defiant, but just because it's my favorite color blue. That's not acceptable anywhere except working in a record shop. 8(

[QUOTE=ChosenOne]Add my name to that list.

I find that dealing with family or friends drains me and I soon retreat into myself. Does anyone else feel like they live in a "deeper" place than most? I have heard all my life that I'm different, crazy, or "deep"; In contrast I'm labeled very smart and gifted? Is depth of character a ADD/ADHD trait? Do we tend to think deeper thoughts than the "normals"?[/QUOTE]

I would agree with you on that one regarding myself. I would delve deeply in my thoughts in philosophy class in college.

I have always personally believed that a person's intelligence is based on the depth of their emotion & not on statistical data based on how much knowledge they have. Knowledge can teach you why you need to love others or empathize with others, but can knowledge teach you how to love or empathize?

Add my name to that list.

I find that dealing with family or friends drains me and I soon retreat into myself. Does anyone else feel like they live in a "deeper" place than most? I have heard all my life that I'm different, crazy, or "deep"; In contrast I'm labeled very smart and gifted? Is depth of character a ADD/ADHD trait? Do we tend to think deeper thoughts than the "normals"?I always think I am smarter then "normals" I usually can't stand them after a short amount of time. The longer they talk the dumber they sound. Don't know if that has anything to do with add or just the fact that I'm an egomaniac.

You ever hear people argue about a TV show aghhhhhhh I feel like my brain is melting just by witnessing the conversation < =""> [QUOTE=MafiaKiddo]LOL I sooo agree with you. "Normals" are boring feels like a chore to have to deal with them. [/QUOTE]

I love the attitude on this forum. Its not "We're different because we have ADHD", it's "There different because they don't".

that's takes a lot of work for an ad/hder, get's tiring after a while

for real friends, i want to let my real self "hang out"...that can like it or leave it...

sonya_h38453.8486574074

for real friends, i want to let my real self "hang out"...that can like it or leave it...

Sonya, you've nailed it on the head. My skin crawls when I'm not able to be who I am. It's not that I'm necessarily having to let out a primal scream or swing off ceiling pipes (although that is a lot of fun), but true friends accept you for who you are, through thick and thin, and don't think twice about it. At the same time, they are seeing you as someone who will be there for them.

i dislike political people who are true believers of any stripe. they get involved in such a hateful my team over your team because your team wants to kill babies and rape children thing. screw all that. i know liberals and conservatives both that really really bore me. a very lib very close friend who was depressed and wanted to become a Canadian after Bush was elected - gimme a break. And this weekend a very conservative very good friend who went on for a long time about getting a speeding ticket like it was a government plot to foil his good time. sheesh. i never let them near each other. i find myself playing the foil whenever someone starts really annoying me with politics. they all want to tell me what/who is right and if i don't agree i am an idiot.
ditto for ultra-religious whether it is Baptist or Wiccan, Pagan or christian or jew.

[QUOTE=DesertHanyou]Same here, except I also have to add I can't stand talking to Republican/Conservatives types... most of the time. My best friend is a Republican, Bush supporting Christian. We still get along even though I'm an Anarchist or Socialist, Bush-hating Iraqi war veteran and atheist. But it's a source of friction, and she's the only one I can tolerate for any length of time... no offense to anyone around here. I don't mean if you like Bush, or are Christian or whatever I dont like you... I'm talking about the whole package and mind set that I seem to find so often in the military and in texas. [/QUOTE]Cara....ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto!!

Haven't seen you on the Adult ADHD forum a long time....welcome back.LOL thanks Gypsy
I had to take some time off to take care of a few things. LOL crazy ADHD life but I'm back now

< =""> I hate that people don't know how to relax and have fun but get work done too. It happens to me at every job. Either the boss gets mad or some cranky coworker will complain that I was fooling around for a half an hour. And you know that over the course of the day I completed 6x the amount of work anyone of my coworkers completed. And that is not a rare occurance or one shot deal that is every single day I work.

So I fool around for a 1/2 hour but still finish all my work and all of theres and get in trouble. However they stand around gossip and generally get the absolute minimun done and there is nothing wrong with that. This isn't at one job it is pretty much at every job I've had. I've got tons on energy so I don't mind doing tons of work I don't even really care that they don't do their share what I do care about is me getting yelled at all the time for 30 minutes of unwinding. While it is just accepted by management that the others are lazy and work slow. My managers complain to me when we work together about how lazy the others are and how nobody ever does anything and always thank me for how much I help it's insane.

I swear if I was a lazy, gossip I could take over the world but no I have to be smart and hardworking and apparently that is the kind of person companies hate.

OK ahhhhhh I feel a bit better now lol just needed to rant a bit ok we can go back to the topic now lol < ="">

it's nearly impossible to deal with normal people. i get cut out of things (social and work)because, like i read on another thread people think i'm 'stuck-up'. i suppose it may be that 1) i easily turn off and tune out when someone is a boor/bore. 2) when i can't 'behave' myself i will confront the boors/bores. which they hate. 3) i frequently hang back and won't get involved in discussions i haven't rehearsed or prepared for in case i can't articulate my thoughts, or can't organize them to share with those others that have to be held by the hand to understand my concepts because i can't present them in a way they are used to. their thinking is sooo one-dimensional. they all go in order from a to b to c and can't seem to deal with my three-(or more)- dimensional approaches to ideas. i feel like i always look like an idiot wacko. trying to explain my world of ideas gets me excited so i often look like i'm ranting. i think that makes most people feel nervous about me.

i feel like the rain man sometimes. i am surprised how many ideas i can entertain and pursue internally, but sometimes instead of elucidating my complex involved ideas within an easily understood framework of simple elegant thoughts, all i can get out of my mouth is something like "i'm an excellent driver. uh-oh!4 o'clock -judge wapner".

as far as the idea of people being tiring, yes they are.

also, i have always felt as if i lived on a deeper level than most. it's hard to be narrow minded when your brain feels like it is trying to process 'life, the universe, and everything' all at once like mine does.

[QUOTE=MafiaKiddo]You ever hear people argue about a TV show aghhhhhhh I feel like my brain is melting just by witnessing the conversation < =""> [/QUOTE]

YES! Me too! Try and say you've never seen the show and you don't watch much TV and they will compete with you about how little they watch when you can hear them debate the finer points of so much TV you know they have to stare at it like zombies for hours daily!
I WANT to stare at it for hours like a zombie but it is so shallow, boring, inane, superficial, formulaic AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH!
(one of my personal pet peeves, excuse me)
It also eludes me completely the appeal of NASCAR. How, of a lovely spring weekend afternoon can someone sit and watch this? I do watch some football - can't beat it on a cold December day, but if it was on in the spring/summer I'd rarely see a game.

I have the same problems Kiddo..just can't pay attention to that stuff. Of all things to give me at work I end up with repetitious dribble..printing crap from a printer and entering data in the computer..same stuff everyday. And to add to that problem throw in some blaring radios of mixed genres & numerous phone calls from grumpy people thinking I can take all their problems away.

I bet if they moved me to bookkeeping I would enjoy myself having to sort out numbers. But in A/R I am stuck doing repetition. 8(

It's good to know that we are not alone. I must say that being a single man it is tough to maintain a level of visibility in the singles scene because it is a stupid, shallow game. I don't quite know why I am addressing being single, maybe I hate dating a women for six months then getting bored with them. I wonder if I met someone with ADHD that would be a positive addition to chemistry. Enough whining.

I am just know, after 36 years of life, discovering my myself as a person with ADHD. I am struck with a overwhelming sense of myself and all I have been labeled through my life. I was accident prone, hyper, didn't pay attention in school, always in trouble, always stood out in a group, poeple thought I was different, and now it all makes sense. On the otherhand I am smart and ahead of my time. With two months of Welbutrin and a few weeks of Remeron on top of that, I feel like I have just begun to live. I now feel in control and can understand why things are the way they are for me.

I hate that my 4 older syblings, parents, and many longtime friends, have all labeled me and talked about me behind my back through the years. I have isolated myself in Alaska for about a year now, and it has allowed me to discover myself. My problem is how do I re-enter all these lives when they will still treat me like all the things I was to them. I just don't know if it will be worth the struggle. I hate alot of them for the labels and harrasement, but I know I am better than them. I can start over with new friends, or try and explain myself to the others, only to know that they will never understand, or care to, why I am the way I am. I have been harrassed by my buddys about being deep, and sensitive, when I have a very shallow and hard side as well. They only see the differences. I love that I have ADHD, but I am lost in how I re-enter the world of the lower 48 and my past relationships.

Enough rambling, It's a problem alot of us have, and I will take things one day at a time.

MaffiaKiddo, thanks for your help a few months ago, your advice has me on track. I was then using the name AlaskaDude.

Thanks for the input.ChosenOne38454.7761921296Hi Jeff! Now that you are on medication and have discovered your "ADHD self", I am willing to bet that when you re-enter the lower 48 -- even without an explanation to them -- your family and friends will see a difference in you, and may just bring it up to YOU that something seems different.

I don't think there's any reason to explain yourself to them. Let them just discover for themselves that you may have changed.

Thanks.

My problem is do they deserve to have me in there life after all that has been said. I have issues with the harrassment over the years, and it was harrassment. I know it's a problem that will solve itself in time, but I just have alot of anger toward all of them. It's tough because I'm the youngest of 5 kids, by 7 years, the "baby". I am not interested in that role and now I have the ability to control it. I have total freedom in my life, to do anything and go anywhere. Why would I go back to that crap.

Yes I'm stubborn.......ChosenOne38454.7942939815My only friends in life also have ADD. We didn't know why initially we just clicked as buddies. Subsequently, as adults we got diagnosed and have a total ball, cause we understand each other! Our converstations never keep on track with anything and we like it that way. We are never critical of our ADD behaviours cause we all have them. I have come to accept that non-ADDers make fine acquaintances to spend limited time with, but true happiness and friendship only comes from a fellow ADD'ers!

[QUOTE=ChosenOne]Thanks.

Yes I'm stubborn.......[/QUOTE]

I think We're all stubborn. Goes along with the ADHD territory I'd gather. 8)