Need someone’s help | ADHD Information

I began taking adderall when I was in 9th grade. I'm not exactly sure what dose I started at but I'm pretty sure it was around 10mg. As I went through high school, I had a teacher that would suggest to my parents that my dose be increased because I seemed to hyperactive in her class. I ended up with a dose of 30mg of XR when I was in 11th grade.  At the time I didn't really think much of this, but I was kind of pushing to have the higher dose, for reasons I really don't know. I probably didn't need this high of a dose, and there was a time frame when I would, much to my shame now, snort the pills in the morning just to get a little extra out of the drug. During the time I was on the higher doses, I wasn't really eating breakfast, and I had gym classes in the morning where I would lift weights or play sports, either way exerting myself. By the time lunch came, I didn't have much of an appetite, so I usually couldn't eat a whole lot. Because of all this, I would be in the worst depression when I got home from school, and also completely fatigued. It didn't take me too long to get fed up with this, so I stopped taking Adderall in hopes that I could balance my self back out. Today Im 18 and in college, but I have just recently started suffering from some severe anxiety and depression again. I fear that adderall may have had an adverse effect on my brain, mostly because I wasn't taking care of myself, and that I'm going to have to live like this rest of my life now. My paranoia of this whole thing is what made me come to this site and share this. I'm almost afraid I might have developed a slight amphetemine psychosis from the time I was perscribed to the drug. 

Should I be worrying about this? and is there anyone else that has had a similar experience with the drug?  One other thing is that I have been feeling very de-attached lately along with the depression/anxiety, and sometimes I see flashes of dots on the outsides of my vision. These are really adding to the anxiety that I have been feeling. Go to the doctors< ="">

I know you said that you have anxiety, but you have ever had an actual panic attack since you have been in college?? Have you ever had anxiety or panic attacks before now? The reason I ask is because for most people, when they have a panic attack "out of the blue" they try to assosiate it with something to make sense of it.

" I fear that adderall may have had an adverse effect on my brain, mostly because I wasn't taking care of myself, and that I'm going to have to live like this rest of my life now"

That would be a good example of what I am talking about. I may be jumping to conclusions about the panic thing, but I have a panic/anxiety disorder myself. It took me a very long time to figure out that my mind was my worst enemy.

Could this be the problem?