Biggest obstacles | ADHD Information
[quote] Also-so I don't freak out -some of the positive aspects you have discovered [/quote]The ability to keep a seven-day-a-week workout schedule / energy to spare. You'll probably want to get them into a sport ASAP. Expect them to prefer loud instruments, not the ones the neighbors like, but be fast learners / hyperfocused at them.
The biggest obstacles me and my husband (both ad/hd) deal with is keeping bills paid...we both have SHOT credit reports....it keeps us from lot's of things...
A decent credit report (well, here in the U.S, I cannot speak for other countries) is very important, and if you don't have a decent one, and if you have a awful one like us, then you can't get very far, and it can be a huge pain in the neck..
Think of it this way: Late and missed homework and school assignments?? that often carries over to the bill-paying...
Ad/hders often have bad credit reports because they can't remember or motivate themselves enough to get the bills paid on time...we have been through periods of blackouts (forgot to pay the electric)...and no phone, no TV, and no water...and we have been evicted a couple of times....and had 2 vehicles repossesed....
had we been properly medicated or AT LEAST formally diagnosed then I feel that we could have avoided a lot of this...
you see, we did not realize that ad/hd would have this affect on us until AFTER all of this...we both knew we had ad/hd, but our parents never took us to get help (don't get me started on THAT!!)..and never really prepared us for the fact that this would be a problem for us...So we got out there and fell on our face a few times, THEN we realized, "HEY, this is happening because we are having problems with our ad/hd", and then we got it treated. So now, we are on the mend....though now looking at bankruptcy...
PLEASE, prepare your AD/HD children on this matter...
without decent credit, my husband and I are not able to purchase a home right now, and my husband cannot have electricity in his name until he has this gigantic bill paid off, also other things (no cell phones, no decent car, etc, etc, etc, you name it, if it requires good credit, we can't have it...)and there are SO MANY PROBLEMS that we are paying for because we have bad credit..
i don't know what you can do to prepare your children for this, but please be aware that THIS DOES HAPPEN to ad/hders ESPECIALLY YOUNG ADULTS....my parents were not aware....(they still inform me that "it's so easy, just do it", but anyone experienced with ad/hd knows it's not that simple...)
i hope EVERYTHING goes well for you and your sons....i think it will because you are so concientious to do so much research.
My biggest problems is perseverance, motivation and attention/concentration. I have learned to cope with allot of the other symptoms because I am very self aware, and wish to improve myself. My PDA have helped structure my day, and to remember all those things I can't.
The positive aspects of my ADHD, is that I am able to hyper-focus, and that I am "on of the sharp tools in the barn"... It helps me compensate.
People all know that I am somewhat different, but they just think it is because of my intellect.
As the mother of two ADHD boys I would love it if you could take the time to let me know some of the obstacles you face as an adult regarding ADHD. Also-so I don't freak out -some of the positive aspects you have discovered.I have used many reminder methods & organizational tactics over the years and get by the best I can. Sometimes I can even pass for normal. 8) The only thing that is an obstacle to me in my eyes is that the people I have dealt with every day of my life do not consider it a true disability. They do nothing to help me with it. They just tell me to get over it & stop making excuses for poor performance. I try twice as hard as the average person & still produce mediocre work. [QUOTE=primitivemommy]Also, please try to be positive with your boys. All of my life, I was told that I was lazy and you have no idea how that has affected me. I have the worst self esteem. I am a Christian and as an adult I have prayed countless times to God to help me not be so lazy. I've lived in turmoil and frustration of not knowing what was wrong with me. Just recently I have discovered that I have Adult ADHD and it has lifted so many burdens. [/QUOTE]
sounds like i have written this myself
people, mother included, still telling me 20 times a day that im the laziest guy on earth... this is very rude so try to be comprehensive with your kids.
cheers. [QUOTE=primitivemommy]
My biggest obstacle as an adult and a mother of 5 has got to be my disorganization. Growing up, I was never made to clean my room or pick up or do any kind of chores whatsoever. I was the baby of the family and very loved. Unfortunately, I was never trained or taught how to clean a house or organize things or pay bills etc. Now these things may just seem to come to the average person naturally and be common sense, but not to me. I have absolutely no natural organizational skills. I truly can not function some times and just freeze up. Everything piles up everywhere and I become so overwhelmed and don't know where to begin.
I have 5 children and along with the help of my husband, we really try to train them to pick up after themselves each day whether it be dishes at the table or laundry or toys. They belly ache and cry and don't want to do it, but I know that trying to encourage them to create good daily habits, will help them in the future.
All of my life, I was told that I was lazy and you have no idea how that has affected me. I have the worst self esteem. I am a Christian and as an adult I have prayed countless times to God to help me not be so lazy. I've lived in turmoil and frustration of not knowing what was wrong with me. Just recently I have discovered that I have Adult ADHD and it has lifted so many burdens. Unfortunately, when I see my bad traits in them, I am the hardest on them, because I don't want them to grow up to be like me.
Positive aspects of my ADHD would have to be my spontaniousness. I am told by my friends that I am very fun and also as a mom I like to keep things exciting. I also tend to be very creative - always starting a new interest, hobby, craft etc. (I won't mention that I never finish any of them.) At least the creativity is there and I really enjoy it for the moment. Jen[/QUOTE]
I can relate to so much you wrote here. A few years back I could have written the identical things you wrote. I found out a lot about ADHD close to two years ago when my children and I got diagnosed and such.
I use to really be so hard on myself about my short comings or feeling like an underachiever in my own way. Then I figured out ways that worked for me to make serious progress and I have, compared to years ago. I still have many things as goals that I continue to strive for but I have learned a while back to stop beating myself up mentally for not being a perfect being. I recognize my progress, big or small as it may be, and I'm just proud of that much, even if I don't always cross the finish line, because I still see it in the distance and continue to make my way to it without stopping. I'll get there, even if it's my own pace.
Adhd or not, 5 children is a lot and just for being so dedicated to being their mother and loving them so much to help them have better self esteem and treatment then we did when growing up is an accomplishment that you should be proud of yourself. Don't over look that at all.
Also, with the kids, we are considered exciting and fun as a group and as a mom I can relate to never being a bore or failing to come up with creative ideas of fun stuff. I consider that a gift and a plus for the kids. At least we're not stuffy, boring drags. .I really want to thank you all for your excellent replies-all have been very useful. Thanks for taking the time to help me.please don't blame them for not doing things they dislike (washing their teeth, homeworks etc...) my mother did this when i was younger and i'm still feeling guilty for this.
Hi - Just want to let you know that you are a great mom!
My biggest obstacle as an adult and a mother of 5 has got to be my disorganization. Growing up, I was never made to clean my room or pick up or do any kind of chores whatsoever. I was the baby of the family and very loved. Unfortunately, I was never trained or taught how to clean a house or organize things or pay bills etc. Now these things may just seem to come to the average person naturally and be common sense, but not to me. I have absolutely no natural organizational skills. I truly can not function some times and just freeze up. Everything piles up everywhere and I become so overwhelmed and don't know where to begin.
I have 5 children and along with the help of my husband, we really try to train them to pick up after themselves each day whether it be dishes at the table or laundry or toys. They belly ache and cry and don't want to do it, but I know that trying to encourage them to create good daily habits, will help them in the future.
Also, please try to be positive with your boys. All of my life, I was told that I was lazy and you have no idea how that has affected me. I have the worst self esteem. I am a Christian and as an adult I have prayed countless times to God to help me not be so lazy. I've lived in turmoil and frustration of not knowing what was wrong with me. Just recently I have discovered that I have Adult ADHD and it has lifted so many burdens. It is so good to know why I act the way that I do and that there is hope for a better future. I know as a mom, it can be so frustrating and I have had to bite my tongue several times when I have wanted to blurt out, "STOP BEING SO LAZY!!!" to my boys. Unfortunately, when I see my bad traits in them, I am the hardest on them, because I don't want them to grow up to be like me.
You sound like a great mom because you want to research and find out how to make life better for them. Hats off to you!
Positive aspects of my ADHD would have to be my spontaniousness. I am told by my friends that I am very fun and also as a mom I like to keep things exciting. I also tend to be very creative - always starting a new interest, hobby, craft etc. (I won't mention that I never finish any of them.) At least the creativity is there and I really enjoy it for the moment. Jen