Who can be stubborn? | ADHD Information

Uh oh she's talking about me again

And just for the record I'm not stubborn

Perhaps you're correct Sonya in that we can be quite stubborn but never percieve ourselves to be that way at all.

Is it just me, or is anyone else hard headed/stubborn?

Now, don't get me wrong, I can most certainly be reasoned with, and if someone's a good reasoner (actually good with communication skills and not a weenie spine perhaps) then I can often see their point of view. Also, it's not like I'm rough around the edges. I'm actually laid back and easy going, laugh a lot, for the most part, but when my mind is made up about something, it's pretty much made up about something. Maybe I actually like it and find it appealing that someone takes the time to display effective communication, while showing a brain cell along with it. Maybe intelligent reasoning impresses me too, or at least what I consider to be intelligent. (I also know this makes me look like an arrogant ass as well, but I'm really not and get along well with many)

I think I also feel I'm stubborn at times, and not always, but because I feel I have very good reasons and well thought out concepts on why I feel the way I do about something.

I know even though many of us have ADHD/ADD and are not exactly alike, but, anyone else out there like that?

Maybe this has nothing to do with ADHD and is just a personality characteristic, which could also be the case.

Either way, I seem to stand firm in my convictions and I'm extremely fair about things too. It's not like I'm unreasonable and hard headed along with being impractical, not at all.

My husband is extremely stubborn, but he doesn't think so. 

He would also probably tell you that I was stubborn, but I don't think I am...

Maybe most of us who are stubborn don't feel that we are.

(both my husband and I have ad/hd...)

But I KNOW my husband is stubborn because other people think he is too.  Once he gets his mind on something, it's set like a steel trap. He obsesses about it, and talks about it for days and days and days, and he won't listen to reason....

Like, he wants to open up a business.   His mind is set on it, and he just constantly constantly constantly talks about it, and all he sees is the rosy parts.

That makes me nervous because if he wants to open a business, he needs to be prepared for the dark spots that may happen along the way, but he can't prepare for them if he refuses to see them. I say, "what if this happens", instead of saying "well if that happens we can do this or that to stop it, or get by", he gets defensive and says, "THAT CAN'T HAPPEN BECAUSE I WILL MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T"...and what is that solving? that is not preparing.  it makes me mad!!

but yes, my husband has ad/hd and is notoriously stubborn!!!

Yes, I am extremely stubborn. I just read in an ADD book that that is common along with being defensive and always right. That's me. sounds like my child and husband will argue to the end that they are right and will not give up in their beliefs.  And they want what they want.I am 100% the same way. Stubborn, defensive & always wanting to make sure justice prevails.

[QUOTE=addbec]Yes, I am extremely stubborn. I just read in an ADD book that that is common along with being defensive and always right. That's me. [/QUOTE]

that is very interesting! I'm very defensive along with being stubborn and set in my ways....I've been working on that though lol. But Ireally struggle. I'm impulsive and will get very defensive, especially with my mother. She always wondered why I was soo defensive. I didn't even know...All I knew is that I got upset very easily and annoyed and wouldn't listen to her suggestions. She didnt understand me for the longest time. Nor did I understand myself. This explains more about my ADHD. Ive been wondering if that defensiveness comes with ADD. That makes sense. What book was that addbec? I want to buy it and read it. Everybody is always like "why are you getting so defensive?" sometimes it is no big deal and i think it is, sometimes it is a big deal and I get that way. It's hard. I'm also very sensitive too. Mom was always like"once you make up your mind, there's no changing it." I know i need to stop being stubborn it's just very hard because if i really really detest something and don't want to do it I'll get defensive. SOmetimes i'll eventually do it, sometimes I won't. I have that along with being a people pleaser which is weird lol. Sometimes i feel so guilty! Are a lot of ADHDers extremely sensitive? I have a hard time confronting someone when I'm angry and just bottle it up inside and then get bitter. Sometimes at home I'll just start crying and get emotional over something small that is upsetting to me. I'm a very anxious, add person lol. I have impulsive along with inattentive ADHD. I always wondered why i couldn't control my emotions. I'd just start crying whereas my brother would start talking back with my parents. Nobody understood me. I don't want to be a crybaby. I'm too old for that you know? lol. I think part of it is my ADD, part of it is my melancholy personality. (Anybody know much about the personality types and what you are?) and part is my high anxiety. Anyway, I'm sorry this is so long!! but i found this topic about being defensive and stubborn hitting home for me!!I can finally understand WHY I am like that and will continue working on these problems :).

-Princess-