New - long story and some questions | ADHD Information

I feel very intrusive in this group, just registering and jumping in with both feet, but I'm absolutely desperate for some ideas, help, etc.

I know I have dealt with depression for a long time, probably since I was a kid, but have been diagnosed and treated for about 12 years (since shortly after I got married - should have been a hint?)  I have had good periods and had times off antidepressants, but the majority of the last 12 years has been on, especially with PPD after my son was born 6 years ago.

Anyway, I have also had the overwhelming feeling that something else was going on with me.  I knew very very little about ADD until the last few years, and I'm still learning, so slowly.   Even as a kid, though, I can remember always having to be doing more than one thing at once, or I couldn't do anything.

A little over a year ago I was off antidepressants and thought it was time to finally ask someone about the ADD.  I asked my doctor at my yearly exam and she wanted to try me on Strattera, sort of thinking that if I felt better, that would be diagnostic.  She didn't want to prescribe the stimulant meds without a formal evaluation so suggested this route.  Well, the Strattera helped a lot.  My house was cleaner, my work production went up, I felt better. 

It may help my story and/or make more sense to tell you that I am now the divorced mother of 3, girls ages 12 and 14, and boy age 6.  I work from home typing medical reports, I am paid by production and getting my quota met has been a HUGE problem for me.

Anyway, about 6 weeks after starting the Strattera, the depression came back in a big way, to the point that I really couldn't even tell if the Strattera was helping any more, and I didn't care as much, I just knew I had to get back on something for the depression and so that's where I ended up. 

The anxiety is definitely under control (started having panic attacks during my divorce) and the depression is in pretty good shape, although I do have my bad days.  BUT, now my house is a pigsty and I'm not getting my hours in for work, much less meeting my production requirements.  I took a new job in desperation about 2 months ago, thinking the change would be stimulating enough to motivate me.  It was at first, and I really do love this new job.  I even took a graveyard shift so I could be more available to my kids in the evenings (sleeping during the day is no problem for me, although frankly it's just never ENOUGH sleep.)

Medical insurance will start June 1, if I can keep this job.  I changed doctors and the doctor I have now wants to send me to a psychiatrist anyway so I intend to discuss the possibility of ADD with both the doctor and whoever she sends me to.  (I have a skin-picking issue she wants to help me figure out and heal.) 

Until then, I would welcome any and all input.  I'm desperate for motivation to clean my house so the kids can have friends over, obviously I want to keep my job and earn enough money to keep a roof over our heads (exhole has issues with paying his support so this job is imperative).   Also, in reading some of these boards I've run across things like restless legs (eye tics?) that I experience but never associated with ADD!  Are there any other treatments besides medication that I could try? 

Ugh, I'm off track again.  Motivation, I was asking about motivation.  I need motivation/discipline tools - do I put sticky notes all over my house redirecting myself?  Put blinders on?  I've tried and tried to form a formal schedule but I can't even figure one out, much less stick to it.  (and don't get me started on financial budgeting...)  I can't drink more coffee, I"m well over a pot a day already.

I don't even know specifically what I'm asking, really.  Just here's my story and wondered if anyone had ideas.

Nice to "meet" you all.  What I've read so far seems like a great group.  Thanks for reading.

Gina BAKtoGriffin38471.0569328704Welcome!! We dont feel intruded upon at all- in fact, we love to have people like us around- make yourself at home!

I also use a reward system. For example, when I'm ironing, I iron a shirt then play one level of tetris, iron a pair of pants, play another level etc.

I found a good book, which you might like- ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life. It had some good suggestions, and wasnt a long drug out read.

Welcome!  I use a reward system with myself, I tell myself I am not allowed to sit my butt down in that chair and have a coffee for 20 min.  Then just let myself wander through the house doing any cleaning that catches my eye.  It's amazing how much gets done.  After 20 min., only 1/4 of the laundry is still on top of the dryer, the floor is 1/2 clean, etc.  I never finish anything, but at least the house looks 3/4 clean. 

Please go talk to a Doctor again. If they can't help, try another. There are things out there to help the ADD and depression. Good luck and welcome. [QUOTE=BAKtoGriffin] Oh my gosh, you guys made me cry. I feel like nobody understands and everything thinks I'm lazy or stupid or something. Thank you so much...[/QUOTE]

On the contrary, we don't think you're crazy, stupid, or lazy....not here! Oh my gosh, you guys made me cry.  I feel like nobody understands and everything thinks I'm lazy or stupid or something.  Thank you so much...Hey there,
Don't feel intrusive. We are not a very judgemental group. We do not charge admission or deny entry if you are weaing sneakers.
Welcome

If strattera is working so well keep takin it!!!



Amanda

It sounds like you've got enough to deal with without depression and ADD too.  I sounds like you're doing ok all things considered though.

If I were you I would get a good book about ADD.  I think that there's a section on this site with suggested books.  Driven to distraction and delivered from distraction are good.  I don't remember who they're by off the top of my head though.  (hello, add)  I'm sure if you look on amazon or something they'll have it.  There are also sites with advice about coping strategies all over.  In my experience you just have to try things until you find some things that work for you.  I could put post its all over everything and I would never see them, but some people swear by them.  One of the things that helps the most is support, so this site is a great place to start.

I would suggest making a list of large goals.  Then figure out what small goal have to be accomplished to better meet the needs of the large goals.  For example don't tell yourself that you need to clean the house.  Break it down into smaller parts and then take them one thing at a time.  You will accomplish more goals which will help your self asteem and you won't get overwhelmed. 

I understand your bouts with depression. I am Bipolar and have ADD.  You're not alone.  I set small goals then try my hardest to meet the goal then move on.  Lists and schedules are essential for me to feel safe.  I don't mean physically.  I mean safe from embarrasment or from trouble at work.  Dow whatever it takes.  Come back here often the people have been great to me already and I have only been here for 2 days. 

BTW I work for a Medical Transcription company also.  I am in tech support though.  Anyway good luck. 

Hi - I am a middle aged female, also new to this forum (have been lurking for a while and this is my first post and I decided to post when I read your message because your situation sounds very similar to mine. 

First, we do the same job. This is a job which is very challenging for a person with ADD since it is very detail oriented and requires sitting for long periods of time. I think the psychologist who diagnosed me was surprised that I could even do it.  You should congratulate yourself for being successful at it even though your having some trouble at the moment. Are you being paid by the line, and if you are, could you possibly switch a flat rate, at least until your life setttles down a bit?

I also have a skin picking issue that I have had for most of my life.  My shrink says it's anxiety. I find I do it the most when my hands aren't busy with something. Do a search on skin picking on the net and you should find some useful info about it.

My major problem with having ADD is motivation- or as I have heard it referred to as "paralysis of will".  I do the reward thing too - I watch TV and then during the commercials I unload the dishwasher, vacuum, etc. You can do anything for 2 or 3 minutes. Still, I haven't found anything that completely takes my "paralysis of will" away except deadlines!  Typical ADDer.

I was diagnosed as an adult by a psychologist who specializes in ADD with a several-hour test and a history.  I see a shrink for my meds, and after a lot of trial and error, Adderall XR seems to work the best - not a miracle cure, but a help.  I also take Zoloft for anxiety and depression. I am more the inattentive type than hyper.

Anyway, like I said, with everything on your plate right now, you deserve medal!!

Just want to say I love this forum - what great senses of humor you all have.