Yes, this is a very good forum to be in for support. I live in the middle of the boondocks of east nowhere, NOPLACE, USA, this is a little country town, and most people around here don't even know what ad/hd is...if the do, "oh they never had that mess back in my day, all you need is a good butt whooping", etc etc etc..
My husband and I went to a state-owned mental clinic here a few years ago, because we both have ad/hd, and they sat up there and tried to convince us my husband did NOT have ad/hd, and COULD NOT have it because "children grow out of that!!"...so they are oldfashioned around here. There are no good support groups in this area for ad/hd. So that is why I convene here, this place helps me keep in mind that I am not the absolutely only person in the world with my disability....
Also, every one here "gets it"...if you don't "get it" then you can't be good support to me, (speaking of my family here)..it's nice to have talk about my problems and mostly every one here "gets it">
sonya_h38472.5353935185[QUOTE=sonya_h]You need a good place to turn for support, and sometimes, for lots of us, it can't really be our family, because for a lot of us here, our family is not so supportive, but that is why we most of us are here, we lean on each other for support![/QUOTE]
That is what I am looking for. I want people in my life that understand what I am going through. My wife has been great about all of this but she just doesn't quite get it. I like this message board and I have been trying to find a support group in my area. So far I have only found one in my entire city. I had hoped that I would have options.
I just wanted to add, since this is an AD(H)D board...that book I mentioned talks about ADD as well, the differences and the dual diagnosis...so it is relevant to ADD as well.
I had a hard time finding support for my ADD, at least as far as forums and groups...I guess it's because we have ADD? LoL This has been the best forum I have found, for sure. Everyone has been great on here.
That you have ADD without sounding like you are just making excuses or hungry for attention. Within the past year have been diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder and ADD. I haven't told very many people. Not even those who are close to me. When I told my sisters who are in their late 30's by the way they just looked at me like I was from another planet. My one sister even rolled her eyes at me. My mother cried and blamed herself. My Step-Dad won't even recognize tha I have medical problems. He thinks it's all a buch of crap. He's very old fashioned. He thinks it's ridicoulous to take pills to make youself feel better. He does the same thing but with Alchohol. My Wife and in-laws have been very supportive. I just can't get through to my own family. I have even tried showing them websites that discuss my problems but it doesn't help. Not sure what to do next.Your story sounds similar to people I know...I just kind of went off in a post about how people perceive mental disorders, incl BP.
My BF is BP, and he doesn't tell anyone really...and he has similar issues w/ his Dad. People hear it, make assumptions, and it sucks. Between all I have learned, I think it's on a 'need to know' basis...some people will never understand nor will they want to...but then again, some people will. For those in the family, keep trying to get them to read good info...people fear what they don't understand, I think. Have you read The Bipolar Survival Guide? It's a great book. It's a typical comparison, but if you had diabetes, people wouldn't have a problem w/ you needing insulin...and BP is a medical disorder as well. Grrr, that just gets me riled up!
I think it is great that you are able to admit you have been diagnosed, and you seem to be doing what you need to do (getting help, meds, etc)...and many people won't do that (even w/ family support), so way to go! I hope your family learns about this for you, and it sounds like you have some support in your wife and her family. Good luck!
There are lots of us here who feel the same heat from their families. Some of us choose to tell them and then sit back and watch and see how the fireworks blow...others of us decide that it is best not to tell our family members because we know the particular mindset our family members. It all depends, all families are different...
if you are "blessed" with a family that is not so understanding, then you just have to find people who ARE supportive, and just not discuss your ad/hd with the ones that will bring you down. You have to kind of play it by ear, you will be able to tell which family members you may be able to coax into a good discussion, but others you might have to just not touch the subject at all with them, because they will make you doubt yourself, and bring your self esteem down. You can also find good friends here in this forum, or in support groups or elsewhere.
You need a good place to turn for support, and sometimes, for lots of us, it can't really be our family, because for a lot of us here, our family is not so supportive, but that is why we most of us are here, we lean on each other for support!
My question would be why would you tell people. Maybe it's just me but I think it's none of there damn business.I can see where both of you are coming from.
when you have ad/hd, (whatever you call it, a "mental illness" or a "disorder" or a "different way of thinking" or whatever you choose to refer to it as...) it is something serious, and most people would expect for their families to readily try to be there for them...families are usually there for each other...i mean if it was something else, like cancer, or AIDS or something like that, usually your family is the first one to come be by your side.
But for some reason, with ad/hd, some families don't do that. Sometimes they don't accept that it's real, or they take it personally (parents) as if it's something they did wrong, or something like that. Ad/hd is not easily "seen", and so they don't believe in it, and they wanna make you believe it is something that you could change if you just wanted to. (wish we only wish would be true.)
For some of us here, the initial shock of the diagnosis is compounded with the shock and initial heart ache and feelings of rejection of being suddenly confronted by our families rude attitude about the matter.
So later on, some of us take on MafiaKiddo's viewpoint, out of frustration from past issues with family, and from their not accepting. We are like, "it's none of their business, i gotta make it on my own."
So don't take it personally, I'm sure mafiakiddo did not mean to offend you. It's just that some of us have had to take viewpoint in order to get by, you know?
I understand both of your viewpoints here.
[QUOTE=MafiaKiddo]My question would be why would you tell people. Maybe it's just me but I think it's none of there damn business. [/QUOTE]
I am sort of having a rough time and some of the medication that I was on for my BP disorder really messed me up. I thought that my family would be their for me to help me feel better. I guess I was wrong. When I talk about my issues they seem less scary and I don't feel so alone. Isn't that why were all here? To talk about our problems. I don't have any friends left so my family is all I've got.
[QUOTE=MafiaKiddo]My question would be why would you tell people. Maybe it's just me but I think it's none of there damn business. [/QUOTE]