How come normal people get away with it? | ADHD Information
Sounds like shes imature. You don't speak to people like that. She must think she is superiour. She needs to be put back in her box.
Tinker38478.6488078704Cool, you play EQ Reizende! [QUOTE=Reizende]I always choose the wrong words, but these people DO call me "not normal" so I was just being a bit sarcastic in the moment. I mean non ADHD people. 8) I was more or less insulted by her mothering hand slap type behavior over the chocolate when others can get away with anything they like. It could have been chocolate or anything else. I am generally an easy-going person, but they constantly find reasons to tell me I am wrong (of course my ADD mind says be argumentitive). The others in the office they just say "oh I see you made a mistake. Oh thats okay" For me they say "I know you did so and so. Don't lie to me" I go red & steam comes out my ears.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like you're not getting your share of respect. I'd suggest turning up the bitch meter a few notches.
I always choose the wrong words, but these people DO call me "not normal" so I was just being a bit sarcastic in the moment. I mean non ADHD people. 8) I was more or less insulted by her mothering hand slap type behavior over the chocolate when others can get away with anything they like. It could have been chocolate or anything else. I am generally an easy-going person, but they constantly find reasons to tell me I am wrong (of course my ADD mind says be argumentitive). The others in the office they just say "oh I see you made a mistake. Oh thats okay" For me they say "I know you did so and so. Don't lie to me" I go red & steam comes out my ears.
I would get a jar of something significantly better for my desk, like truffles or something.
Normal means average, everyday, run of the mill, nothing special.LOL never understood why people got offended when someone said we aren't normal. Of course I would love to not have ADD but even if I didn't have it I would never want to be normal. What an insult lol
To me normal is a flock of sheep. I don't want to be one of the sheep. I want to be the wolf or the shepard.
What is normal? [QUOTE=MafiaKiddo]
To me normal is a flock of sheep. I don't want to be one of the sheep. I want to be the wolf or the shepard.
[/QUOTE]
renminds me of a quote:
There is no need to fear the wolves at your door if you are a wolf killer.
always liked this - go grab your problems (as long as they are problems not PEOPLE) and strangle them!
[QUOTE=Jillette] What is normal?[/QUOTE]
Normal is what each and everyone of us here are, as well as those not here. We're all individuals with our own set of likes, dislikes, interests, styles, life circumstances, etc..
To me, that's normal. So what if some people have more challenges in certain ways then others? That's normal and that's common. One who may have more challenges in one area might be more talented or be pretty insightful in yet another area.
Financial stress comes to both the rich and poor. That's normal. That's how life is, varieties and all. The grass really is not greener on the other side. We just don't always see up close and personal the fullness of the other side.
I condsider myself a normal adult who also happens to have ADHD. I'm not in denial. I believe I'm normal, so what if I do things differently then another to get the job done. Like they say, "There's more then one way to skin a cat."
What I don't consider normal are people who have been legally and lawfully removed from society for one reason or another. I also don't consider people who go around intentionally hurting other's normal. To me, THEY are NOT normal.
Is a blind person not normal because he can't see? I don't think so. What about someone who's blind and deaf like Hellen Keller, once she knew and learned how to communicate to other's, perhaps she was considered normal but to another she would not be considered normal because she couldn't see, hear, or speak, but she seemed to do a lot of good for others and come a long way herself.
Perhaps normalcy is all a matter of perspective but that's how I honestly believe in my heart, even if I happen to have a cruddy day. I'm a person who had a cruddy day cuz that's normal for EVERYONE.goldenmoment38474.9081018519Reizende-
If I were you, I would go over to her with about 7 pennies in your hand and with a straight face, say:
I am so sorry for taking the few M&Ms. I did not know they were so important to you. Maybe you are in financial stress right now. Here is some money to repay you for the tragic harm I caused. Go out and splurge.
Y'know, sometimes I just say f'em. That is the people that get all bent into a psychic pretzel because I have not followed some obscure and generally useless social cue-card or formula.
I almost always apologize, but sometimes I don't mean it. If nothing else, I'm basically a kind person, extremely considerate and if my off the cuff actions strike someone as totally out of line, they often have not thought about the situation long or hard enough.
I've got to admit that I've pulled some whopping social faux-pas, but the "M&M incident" does not sound like one such.
Oh, well. Sometimes we have to work with people that eschew regular hygiene, or are bigots or just freaky about colored bits of chocolate!
gearhead
Why do those normal people get away with stuff on a daily basis & I get reprimanded like some naughty child? To my disgust & embarrassment most times.
I usually ask permission to do things if my mind isn't in outer space, but I never claim to have perfect manners....
This girl has a red M & M jar on her desk. People come over and take m & m bags out and walk away often. I walked over this morning not thinking..and mumbled out loud "hmm what's in here?" then took out a bag of m & m's. The girl said "did I tell you that you could take that without asking?" Shocked & aggitated I let her know people take them out of the jar without asking and soon after the other co-workers aaround us are telling me I am a scary person?????
What the??? ! $%#$ % My day is already starting to annoy me! I then start daydreaming about being hypoglycemic or something and passing out hand outstretched in front of her m & m jar..had she only listened...
hehe It's the kinda thing that makes me want to buy her favorite candy out of the candy machine and bring it back to my desk & smack on it really loud and say yummy yum. Yes, it's immature but she really pissed me off with that stupid comment. I hate mornings already as it is.
Put a little sign on the jar that says "don't touch!". I guess that must be it. I am also the last one to know things that occur in the office, too. Aloof I guess. And I come off an innocent or naive a lot even though I know how to handle myself.So get your own jar, fill it with that exlax that looks like chocolate and leave it on the corner of your desk.Just kidding, but it does provide some funny images doesnt it??!!??
[QUOTE=chocoholic]Just kidding, but it does provide some funny images doesnt it??!!?? [/QUOTE]While funny in theory, my sister was the victim of an ex-lax joke once and she got severely sick. She and I both have IBS so you have to be careful who you pull jokes like that on.
All seriousness aside, some people do really ask for it though, don't they?
I love the title of your post - how come normal people get away with it? I knew what you were talking about before I even read your post (ok not specifically that you were going to tell an M&M story, but you know).
It's one of our probelms, unfortunately. We miss social cues and would probably be completely oblivious to any pre-arrangement this girl would have had with the other people in the office. Maybe she had already told certain people that they could take the candy whenever they wanted. Of course she would be offended if someone "not on the list" tried to take her candy.
Your story gave me a flashback to university - one of the girls in my dorm came home with a big piece of cake that she had made in her foods class or something, and she was saying she would share it. Without thinking, I reached out to grab a stray crumb on the plate and she pulled away as if I had reached for the whole cake. She told me later that she thought I was being incredibly "rude". I felt like a 3 year old with her hand caught in the cookie jar.
Back home, my friends and I grabbed food off each other's plates all the time. Being socially inept, I didn't think about how innappropriate that is with other people.
LOL I would sit there and everytime someone takes M&M's without asking I'd say something sarcastic Like whoa whoa whoa I never heard so and so give you permission to take those M&M's or watch out ____ is a M&M nazi. lol Just feel sorry for the M&M Nazi. She's a sad little person. Then forget about it and move on. Life's too short!Don't know why. I am not anyone to be jealous of. Except for the fact I live life to enjoy it and don't act like an uptight snob like the rest of the office heh. Everyone is so afraid they are not fashionable enough or bought enough stuff to make them happy. I just don't care anymore. 8)[QUOTE=Reizende]Don't know why. I am not anyone to be jealous of. Except for the fact I live life to enjoy it and don't act like an uptight snob like the rest of the office heh. Everyone is so afraid they are not fashionable enough or bought enough stuff to make them happy. I just don't care anymore. 8)[/QUOTE]
Yeah, but your soft and pliable. *floof pushes reizende*
See?
*push* *push* *push*
fight back!
What I meant by normal was to me everyone is normal i accept people as they are. I have two best friends one has bipolar and we have been friends for 20 years, another friend has a personality disorder. My husband has ADD and my child has ADHD and I only see my friends and family. Maybe it has nothing to do with her being "normal"(and I believe that no one is truly normal), but that she just doesn't like you? heh. Why can't kids just be kids anymore. I say get rid of kids sitting together and go back to old fashion group times and individual times. This is how things used to be done. I also say go back to teaching more hands on ways. It's more interesting that way and fun. You will learn more this way. Computers has made kids no longer have to think either. Just go to the computer and find out.Kids don't spend enough time outside where motor skills are built. Some old ways were the best ways. Here kids seem to do nothing without being told. Electronics is what kids value now. I feel sorry for this generation in the real world.I feel sorry for the NEXT generation.
So get your own jar, fill it with that exlax that looks like chocolate and leave it on the corner of your desk.
Just kidding, but it does provide some funny images doesnt it??!!??
That was too funny!!!!hehehe I like that!
We're all overweight in this department except 5 people. She is slightly overweight too, but more hourglass shaped so no one really cares. I, on the other hand, have all my fat in my stomach so people ask me if I am pregnant.I didn't do anything. But now theres chocolate from every past holiday imaginable at her desk for some reason. Easter bunnies, Christmas candy...
[QUOTE=Reizende]I didn't do anything. But now theres chocolate from every past holiday imaginable at her desk for some reason. Easter bunnies, Christmas candy...
[/QUOTE]Get a tray or something, lay your arm across her desk and scrape it all into the tray, and take it back to your desk.
She got announced employee of the month.are you good with people? 'cuz if you can do what you have to, including flirt and such, make yourself REALLY friendly to all the people that normally go to her desk and get them to start stopping at your desk....she'll FREAK.... the candies are there not for you but likely so she? it's a girl right? they're there so she likely can attract guys to her desk and flirt....oh and her good friends.....that's why you aren't allowed.... so if you can find out which guy she likes most and flirt with him in ways only us party people can she'll FREAK...
ha ha ha...Okay that's actually a really mean Idea but.....it'll work..
Uh, as you can see from this thread and other threads, most of us are not well liked by other people. If you're good with people consider yourself extremely lucky. [QUOTE=Reizende]
I didn't do anything. But now theres chocolate from every past holiday imaginable at her desk for some reason. Easter bunnies, Christmas candy...
[/QUOTE]Well that's really wierd, stale chocolate from old holidays??- seems to me, out of the two of you, we can see who's the more normal one, and its not her!!!!
Hang in there, Reizende, you're a good person surrounded by oddballs
Senior Member
Joined: 09 October 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 704 Posted: 02 May 2005 at 1:59pm | IP Logged
LOL I would sit there and everytime someone takes M&M's without asking I'd say something sarcastic Like whoa whoa whoa I never heard so and so give you permission to take those M&M's or watch out ____ is a M&M nazi. lol __________________
Hey, Look At Me I Have ADHD
You people just totally crack me up!I wanto thank you for totally changing my mood!My Children always said that I was a littlle wacky,But they liked that I was that way!I am very frequently wacky.I don't think I have quite grown up yet.I am 42 and at times I feel like I am 15.and act that way as well.I cannot help myself.If there is a song on the radio that has a good beat I will just get up and start dancing like wild.No matter what we are doing.One time we were eatting dinner at the table and I just started jumping around my kids loved it and well my husband just called me immature.my childrens friends and teachers often think I am there sister.one of my daughters said the medicine has slowed me down but I think I needed to calm down a little
debdrunner38476.6933680556To be funny make Mand M cookies with chocolate chips in it using ex-lax pieces and watch the snobs run to the toilet
Reizende -
What did you end up doing?
Who and what is normal is all a matter of perception. To me you all are very normal, to my sister (way long story there don't ask) you probably all aren't. The way I see it you should go back and tell her you're not sorry. It was a misunderstanding. You thought everyone was welcome to the M&M's, not just certain people and maybe she should put up a sign next time.
Just kidding about the sign part, I'm being sarcastic....or am I?
In a nutshell, screw 'em.
Well to add my bit o'logic to the mix.If it were me, I would have grabbed the jar and threw it to the ground and said, OOPS. And walked away.
She is aware you have a problem and is doing her best to test it.
She knows she is a snit.
Just walk past her with your pride in the air and pay no attention to her smarmy college girl in distress antics.
I have learned, when someone tries to lasso me into the I am right and your wrong because you don't fit into my circle of crap,
I always do the fun stuff. I smile all the whole time and ignore them as they make the comments that enrage me, but I always respond right back to them with, your right, I never thought of it that way, maybe if you told me more often of these things they wouldn't happen. Then let them make the next move.
It is best just to sit back and watch as these people will get themselves into more problems than I could ever cause them.
bugzappers38505.737037037Yeh i agree with mafiakiddo! who wants to be
normal! however the truth although I can say ppl with
add arent normal you have to admit if someone that
you were friends with and knew you had add went
and said sumthing like "When you take ritalin do you
become like a normal person?" you (and i and
everyone) would pull a whole "normal? you mean
can i concentrate? cos you know having ADD doesnt
make you not normal!"
Its like everything! I can criticize australians cos im
austrailian but i would get defensive if sum1 started
generalizing bout aussies. I can crack jewish jokes
cos im jewish but id get pretty sh*tty if sum1 that
wasnt jewish did (and im not at all religious or
anything). I pretty much applies for everything!sophphoph. Wife is jewish also.LOL I love politically incorrect jokes. For some reason they are 10 times funnier then any other kind. I guess it's cus they are kinda taboo right now so sharing them makes them that much more fun.
Wow, does this sound familiar! Not the specific incident, but the context. I was told at work by my boss's boss that I was lacking in "emotional intelligence." Yet I'm one of the kindest people I know (not bragging, just a description that results from a choice I made a long time ago) and see others around me being very unfeeling and uncaring towards others in so many ways from ignoring e-mails or writing extremely terse ones (to the point of saying nothing), to witholding information that might help another. And then there's rampant hypocracy which seems A-okay in the non-AD(H)D world.
I'm writing a paper on emotional intelligence for school this quarter and one of the sources I found talks about "politeness" being associated with social paranoia and essential unhappiness and "rudeness" being associated with happiness and sort of a "pollyannaness." I thought that study very telling as to where a whole lot of "normal" people live, emotionally.
The solution I've come to is to try and better match my personality and values with my work environment. I'm looking more at academia and entrepreneurship than trying to fit in with an established company where conforming is far more important than productivity, much less, innovation. I'm guessing that the key to all this is finding a good match.
As for the candy jar episode, it seems most useful to understand that this woman is not our harping mother and to simply apologize for violating this woman's "rules" as in, "Sorry, since I've seen other people doing it, I thought the candy was there for anyone. I won't do it again." (Doesn't leave her anywhere to go and stops her in her tracks.) And then, just avoid this woman (who doesn't sound like a very nice one), and forget about it. I think we often tend to be far too sensitive and react to other people's crap, which is really a waste of time and energy when you think of it.
First I understand your fustration, by letting everyone else get candy, but stopping you, she is basicly saying you are not welcome in her opinion. This to others is noticed, and there opinion of you then becomes lower than it was, which of course makes you pretend it doesn't hurt, but it does, and it seems unfair because you treat everyone well.
So you need to one up the situation. Get yourself a big jar of candy, really good stuff. Put a note on the candy Jar that says "Help yourself, this candy is for everyone, please enjoy. Underline everyone to bring importance to it. This is what you did, you will effectivly strike back at her, you will make her seem small, because her candy is not for everyone, but only for a select few, so she must be petty. Some will pick up on this and chuckle, it will tick her off. Because now her nice jesture is shown for what it is, a play to bribe people to like her.
I often keep a candy jar, everyone knows its for everyone. One time someone asked me if i worry that the cleaning people eat my candy at night when they do the floors. I responded, I hope so, its for them to, they do a great job.
On the same subject..my first day of school was exactly the same situation. It was the fist day of kindergarten. The teacher said "I have my big pink eraser up on my desk in case anyone needs to use it" (I was thinking this meant "come get it at will"). Others went up, asked the teacher, took it to the desk, erased mistakes & then put it back on teacher's desk. I went up, took it off the desk, and as I was walking away she grabbed me and screamed at me saying I shouldn't take what doesn't belong to me. I didn't understand at all, because she previously said it was for all to use. That was day 1 of my ADD troubles. 8(