Do strangers notice? | ADHD Information
Do you think that people who don't know you just see the ADHD- like you can't hide it at the supermarket or wherever? How long do you think it takes for ppl to realize that you're different?I once had this really easy boring job that I kept getting promoted in. I wanted to make the opposite impression of ADHD- so noone would ever know that I was messy...Whenever there was nothing to do, I would tidy up everything...tried to make myself look like a neat freak.
When I quit the job, everybody signed a good bye card for me. The boss wrote:
"We'll miss you and we'll even miss your mess!!"
I was so shocked that anyone could perceive mess. I was trying to be a neat freak and thought I succeeded!!!!
Just another example of how we don't understand them.
I know I don't.
I told a college professor that I suspected I had AD/HD and her reaction was, "Ohhh. That explains alot! You're a classic case!" A few months ago i got into party where i only knew a few people. before getting into the house i told myself "try to be normal this time, dont be too impulsive". the party went on, and after a few hours an unknown guy came and said "damn you're so impulsive, have you ever thought about seeing a doctor?". i was astonished
i had failed once and againyeah, even when I'm working harder than everyone else combined, all they see is that I didn't finish the first part before doing everything else.... I do ALL the hard work and then get criticised for not writing out a dreary explanation.....ack! My wife claims she told me I had ADD once or twice a year for years, but that I wasn't having any of that.
I honestly don't remember. I obviously WASN'T having any of that.
I was diagnosed at age 30. When I explained it to my parents and best friends who had known me for 2-15 years, they all said, "OOOH, that explains EVERYTHING!"
People would tell me I would stare off into space all the time, interrupt at irrelebant times, never finish washing dishes, watch commercials instead of the show, leave things all over the place, never end a phone call, late all the time for the same things over and over, procrastinate, etc. etc. etc..
Sometimes I got the sense that they were more relieved with the diagnosis than I was!
I think they often notice that something is different but they don't know quite what it is.
I have been trying very hard to keep my ADHD under wraps at work. Oh, they know I'm "special" all right. But that's because no matter what happens, I never worry about it. I have never had issues finding a decent job, because I am the master of interview BS. I used to interview people, so I know exactally what they want to hear. I think the guys I work with are collectively working on having a stroke, because they stress over everything that goes on. I guess I just don't get that. So the other morning, I was sitting down after work waiting for that magic time when I could get out of there, and a guy I know from the next shift sat down next to me, leaned over and said..."so, how long have you known you had ADD?". Talk about shock. So, it seems I'm not fooling anyone there. But I do constantly wonder when I'm getting help at a store, trying to ask the salesperson a question, if this guy knows. Does it show?
John
I don't know about how strangers think about me but I'm pretty sure they can sense that I am "too" quiet and daydreamy.
My family was at first shocked to hear i had ADHD and then i read some symptoms to them and they were like "wow that is you!" my mom had no idea that I had it because i wasn't "hyperactive" but I'm very inattentive and impulsive so it all makes sense to me and to them now!
I think it is the people that have knowledge of ADD that are able to recognize it more. Before my daughter got diagnosed I have heard of ADD but not much else about it. Now we found my husband has it as well and it does make sense and those past arguments we have had I wish I knew then what i know now. Also if someone had it I never would have picked up on anything until now. Maybe it is a good sign people are learning more and being more knowlegible.
[QUOTE=TheDog]
I think they often notice that something is different but they don't know quite what it is.
[/QUOTE]
That's exactly how I feel. I'm pretty sure people who get to know me a little can tell that there is something a little "off" but its not clear exactly what.
I know one guy who said he suspected I had it, because I reminded him of his ADHD ex-girlfriend, but he was too polite to say anything.
No one else has ever mentioned anything, I wish they had, but people do often say things about how I talk a lot, I'm clumsy and walk into things, I'm messy, have a bad attitude to authority...all the things that seem to point to ADHD, but I guess they just think I'm a bit out there.
I'm also always smiling and happy, so I guess people like that about me. (Except bosses)
Now that I've started medication it's like I've got a big secret. I'm always wondering now if people think I am odd, and if they guess why.
Could it be that he thought you where a neet freek and was making a joke about it?
There is a word for it and I can't thing of it. Its when you say something is not when infact it is, so as to bring attention to it.
I think people just assume we've done too much acid back in the hippy days.Or for the youngsters, smoked too much dope.
Come to think of it, that may explain the strangers that start conversations with me and then won't leave me alone in the shopping lanes at the stores. I never do this myself. I might say a few words to some people, but I just keep quiet until I get out of there.
Reizende, that happens to you too? Strangers do that to me all the time! I'll catch someone's eye by accident and the next thing I know is their telling me their life story, and in my mind I'm thinking 'why are you telling me this, and do I care?'.
I figured I must be a good listener, but if I was I think I'd have more friends.
Maybe because we've been picked on so much during our life because of being seen as weird, perhaps we are more patient and understanding with the other weirdos out there and they sense it.
I've asked other people if that happens to them too, and usually they say no.
Barb
BarbJ38478.4406365741Oh my gosh- that happens to me too, although less now that I'm getting older and am usually holding a screeching baby (always a deterrent!).I especially used to get evangelical religious people when I was younger. They'd corner me and just start in on a conversion. I used to wonder if there was a sign on my back or something. My husband never could understand it bc no one ever did that to him. that ALWAYS happens to me!! It confuses me because I am NOT a good listener!!!
Strangers confide in me about the weirdest or most personal things- for example, deaths of loved ones, divorces, belief that the government is putting mind control devices in water sources....
Just today, a stranger came over to me and said:hello my name is Vlad. You will come with me to the supermarket??
lol
we're a friendly folk.... have you ever told someone NO or to F-OFF over what they told you? or even said they're crazy...
that's why.....
Well, maybe that's why they keep talking to us. But it doesn't explain why they start in the first place. I mean no one would say F-Off to them even before they opened their mouth,not even so called normal folks.(I think...)
However, I agree we're a friendly folk! lol
Barb
wowhey everyone 
the way i see it is that most people do not know i am there when i first go in. i get half way round the shop with my son (who is adhd) and my daughter(not adhd )and every last person knows i am there . i hate it but it is true. friends and family just end up walking away and meeting me outside lol
so i think yes people do see it eveen thought in my case i try to hide it . it seems to be the more i hide it the more obvious it is ! sad or what
No. It's not possible. When I got the card, I went over to him and said- you think I'm messy?? And he said VERY seriously that I was the messiest person he ever worked with, but everybody loved me anyway.NOT sarcasm.
I guess then you were not trying hard enought to be tidy.
ADHD or not, if someone is messy then everyone will notice.
um sarcasm? I was thinking that myself. Like calling a 400 pound 6'8" man "Tiny"
I get the stangers life story at the store as well. I remember this one time an elderly man decided I should know about how well his family treated "colored" people. He went on for a while about how his mom took care of their negros and how his dad wouldn't tolerate unkind words toward any of their negro help. I assumed it was because I am black but now that I think about it their were plenty of other blacks in the store that day. But that's not the only type of conversation...where at the end the person hugs me. COMPLETE strangers..I just check my pockets for my money, shrug my shoulders and continue on my way.
When I quit the job, everybody signed a good bye card for me. The boss wrote:
"We'll miss you and we'll even miss your mess!!"
I was so shocked that anyone could perceive mess. I was trying to be a neat freak and thought I succeeded!!!!
[/QUOTE]
Lol! I think their is a disorder that is opposite of ADD. What a life it must be to have every little thing out of place bother you. I think your pencil sharpener was facing north by northwest, when it could have been facing due north.
Sometimes other people notice it more than you do.
