annoying...how to tell | ADHD Information
I spent most of my time repressing the desire to speak onless an answer was expected, I came to learn that people got board as soon as I began to speak. I used to think It was my voice, but could never figure it out. Because of that I became a good listner and observer of people and their body language. Now I can read people very quickly.
Its funny how we change with age and experiance. From repressing myself to now thinking, don't cast your pearls before swine. We think different yet I think we are more honest with ourselves.
So I say, don;t change yourself. If people are getting board with you, then thats just there loss, because I am unique and I love my mind and I love the way I think about things and if you don't, well too bad.
[QUOTE=Chris46319]
I find myself wanting to throw myself through a plate glass window in order to avoid being in a conversation with her at times. It feels like someone is scratching their nails down a chalk board. I just get so uninterested. WOW! Feels good to get that out. Does anyone ever feel that way? Is it just me?
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Haven't felt that toward my wife but I have felt it. I know that feeling scratching their nails down a chalk board, you describe it well. Its overpowering isn't it.
Tinker38482.7042592593
I was annoying today. I was photocopying something while talking to someone and had maybe 20 pages to go. Then this woman walks in and starts staring at the copymachine obviously waiting for her turn to copy, but saying nothing.
So, then someone else asks me if I could let her in because she had to have the copies done very soon and then she thanks that person for asking me and gives me a dirty look.
I'm annoying because I didn't notice her need but she's also annoying because she assumes I'm going to know, etc.
However, she is a normal person doing the normal thing and I was being oblivious which is translated as rude - annoying. And, I try so hard not to be annoying most of the time yet I'm sure she'll be telling someone how RUDE I am. It's just the way they are and it's my burden to accept that even though we were each annoying, that mine is the only one that counts.
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Sometimes people are good at looking interested in what you have to say. Sometimes you can't tell when people find you annoying because sometimes people are polite. I know I've been polite when someone else was annoying, and so the reverse is probably true too.Maybe it is best to not lose sleep over whether someone else finds you annoying.
Assume you don't annoy someone until they say it. Thinking and rethinking whether you're annoying will drive you crazy and will bring you to doubt yourself all the time.
And if someone is OBVIOUSLY avoiding you, gossipping about how annoying you are, confront the person about why your conversations/mannerisms are soo unbearable to them- ask sincerely to get sincere answers. Or if it's a workplace thing, you don't have to talk to the person about anything but work.
If you annoy someone, it might be their fault for getting annoyed so easy...Or something..
Hello all. I found this thread interesting so I will make it my first post.
I totally hear ya Cheer Bear. I wonder that too. On the other hand, do you seem to get more annoyed with other people's conversations as well? I'm married to a good woman but more often than not I find myself wanting to throw myself through a plate glass window in order to avoid being in a conversation with her at times. It feels like someone is scratching their nails down a chalk board. I just get so uninterested. WOW! Feels good to get that out. Does anyone ever feel that way? Is it just me?
[QUOTE=Jillette]Along with watching facial expressions check body language as well.
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I agree, I now try to watch for both. Also, when someone keeps looking at their watch, I think "let it go Ranza, your ADD is showing"!
Along with watching facial expressions check body language as well.
I think the woman should have said "excuse me, will you be much longer?" or something to that effect and given you the opportunity of offering to let her copy before you were done or she could have said that she didn't have much to copy and was in a hurry and would you mind if she cut in. I think she was the annoying and rude person.I agree, She was the rude one. People are not mind readers, even non-ADD people. I think even Miss Manners would be with you on this one.
And the guy with the beer was also rude. If the 6-packs were so heavy he could have;A. asked nicely if he could put them on the counter, B. gotten a cart for 3 6-packs(I mean come on, they are heavy and there could have been a really long line at the check out), or C. put them on the floor and then picked them up when it was his turn.
There was no call for what he said, and I think the cashier should have refused him service. I worked in retail for many years, and all my supervisors told me if anyone ever swore or was vulgar we were to ask them to leave. If they were mad and yelled we were still supposed to try and help, but once they swore at us, that was it, they were asked to leave. So, don't feel bad, you were not the rude one!
Barb
[QUOTE=TheDog]I'm annoying because I didn't notice her need but she's also annoying because she assumes I'm going to know, etc.
Something simular happended to me today in the checkout line at the supermarket. The person in back of me had 3 6pks of beer and wanted very much to put them down. I only had 1 item, but the cashier was talking to me and the woman ahead of me. I never turned around to see him, but in MY opinion, he should have said something. Finally I noticed and apoligized. all he could say was "don't you gabbin' bitches ever shut up and think of others"? Then we all said " oh, we're so sorry" and giggled a bit. Hey, 3 against 1!
But this not noticing other pple has happened to me many times. Either b/c I was talking or just "in that ADD world of my own". With the help of meds, I have made alot of progress, but I guess there will always be something I miss. But on a better note, some pple are just annoying and seem to enjoy it!
They annoy me!
So Cheerbear, we are who we are and you are special b/c YOU ARE YOU
Latina-ADD38484.3148842593Half the time I think the things I say are not annoying and I am so tempted to prove my point that I defeat my purpose lol.how do you tell when your getting annoying in conversations? poeple say i'm annoying and they stop talking to me, but i don't realize it. The way that I can tell is when I am talking to them I watch their facial expressions and their eye movements and that will tell me if they are actually listening or not.
[QUOTE=missinglink]The way that I can tell is when I am talking to them I watch their facial expressions and their eye movements and that will tell me if they are actually listening or not.[/QUOTE]
Yes, when they start to look away or change their expression, I stop talking or change the subject. I try hard to make sure they have a lot of time to talk and that I really listen. It's tough.