ADHD and starting a relationship? | ADHD Information

I never noticed in high school that I had an interest in more than one guy. It turns out it was probably the boredom with ADD.

In my life's dreams I had it in my mind that there truly must be that modern day knight in shining armor that would come to my aid on occasion. A man who was in touch with his feelings & not afraid to show them. A super-nice guy that could be tough when needed, yet not afraid to cry. The trust and vulnerabilty of that type of guy draws me in. A man that wipes away my sorrows, makes me laugh when I feel like crying, who will pamper me when I need to be babied. I was told theres no such man in the world and that I should stop being a hopeless dreamer.

                            I can relate to what you are saying.  I mean I prefer in some ways being the captiain of my own ship rather than bringing someone on board.   Because sometimes you feel only you should deal with your storms, because someone without ADHD will not have your storms.  But at the same time, there is something about you that she likes and part of you has ADHD.  But there is no reason why we should use ADHD to make us unhappy.   We need not be Thomas Edison drowning ourselves in experiments or linguistic research and forget our human side.... Here is what I would say do your best to be responsible, that means pay your blls, be orderly, do what you know is right for a good life without expecting yourself to be perfect and who says that girl is perfect.  The mind is such a powerful thing.  With the mind and soul we can heal including ourselves and we have to forgive ourselves.  And sometimes it feels, partner, we have to "forgive" ourselves for having ADHD if we want to get better and accept ourselves.  You are worried about her accepting you, but really it is about us accepting ourselves..... I hope my post helps, because I can relate to what you are saying... Feel free to private message me if you want...Most people ADORE my adhd, Getting a girlfriend has never been tough for me. I'm a fun guy I like to do fun things and people adore that.... I build on that. Sure they find out quickly that I'm a mess but they see through it....


okay here's where the REALITY sets in........ EVERYBODY has problems.... I know I know, it doesn't SOUND real but it is....
Don't you expect to find a kink here or there in the relationship as you get to know her? Seriously....

Ehhhh love is a wierd monser, I'd call it a scarry green giant but I think someone around here might take it wrong . Chances are she'll find lots of other things she doesn't like about you but that won't really matter. Love is what it is and either she loves ya or she doesn't. She'll likely find out you're messy pretty soon. But if being a neat person is #1 on her priority list for finding a guy, do you REALLY want her anyways? how about being perfectly ONTIME or any of the other "normal" things? Keep in mind, if she's the type of girl that won't help you with it or doesn't want to deal with it, chances are she's not worth your time anyways.....

Just remember, you're NOT a burden no matter HOW much sh*t you leave around....what you do may be a burden and there are ways to help in this way or that or maybe you'll find a way that she picks up after you but you do . .. .this or that for her, who knows.... the point is that YOU are not a burden. AS A PERSON YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN

Most importantly, follow your heart a little bit, and don't be afraid to take a risk, afterall you can't steal second base with your foot still on first.... of course naturally us guys always have our sights set on home base but that's another issue

As things come up you can explain them, i think waiting a month or so is a good plan to ensure she is crazy about you first.  Once you feel you have her hooked then you can share a little at a time not to overhwhelm her.  Your percieved limitations may not be as bad as you see them.  

We all tend to be harder on ourselves and the low self esteem does not help.  Good luck

I think you have to be honest to prospective mates about your limitations as well as your strengths, and prepare yourself for lots of rejections.  they don't need to know anything about your perceived weaknesses for a long time, at least a month or so.  if you purge to early, they will high tail it in the other direction.  you'd be better off just working on enjoying the moment and forgetting about your issues.  we all have them and they are not to be shared with just anyone.  she may just think your fun and if you make her laugh, thats more important than anything.  i can relate, but just work on being fun and stress free, she will open up at some point then you can too. plus, if you were attracted to each other in the first place there is likely a similar triat to work off of.  she will likely see your not relationship ready if you lead with you heart.  unbreakable38483.8667939815There have been a lot of thoughts about relationships here.
Most questions are about how to keep a relationship going or what will
happen when children become an issue or the like.
I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. Dealing with all the new
angles in which light could be shed onto my past is always a two folded
thing. It takes some stones off of my back but it adds about two times the
stones to my front ;)
I've always thought very carfully with whom I'd want to get into a
relationship. It has never worked out well. I still feel guilty for things that
happend when i think about relationship. It is not that i got that little
nagging thoughts about the past, but i am sorrow remembering things.
Now i feel inclined to talk about some things with some girl but i rate my
self so low that i would not dare to mention anything anymore.
It's like: I like her and i know what a mess i am and i therefore do not
want her to have me as a burdon. Though, i know she likes me, i have a
hard time accepting my feelings. I feel like if i follow my impulse, i drive
someone into sort of a desaster.
I would really like to hear someone's story that it can work to start a
relationship if you know about youor ADHD. I would do anything to make
a relationship work. I do not want to be alone but i also do not want to
put me onto someones back. I'm really scared of trying to have a
relationship ever again. But that is not the future i want.