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Hi 2boys1mom,

[quote]I hear all these success stories of grades going from D's & F's to A's & B's. It's just never happened for him.[/quote]

I don't like to state the obviouse, but it could be that your son might not be able to do any better than he has been even if his meds are right. Everyone has a different level of inteligence, it all about finding out what he enjoys, just my opinion.

[quote]Does this mean I also have adhd. I believe I do. [/quote]

Not for certain but its definatly possible. Why not get a definate test?

"slow processor" Thats me also. It takes time for information to gather in a coherent form. Which would be why he has learning difficulties.

 

 

Tinker38486.4651736111

ok. here goes my first posting. My older son is 16yrs. and was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in 1st. grade. We've never gotten him on the right blend of meds.

Just recently went to Psychiatrist.He's on Concerta 72mg per day. I hear all these success stories of grades going from D's & F's to A's & B's. It's just never happened for him. He's been on ritalin, aderal, stratera, wellbutrin, his last a  doctor a family practicioner, had him on 80mg stratera, with 54 concerta. What a disaster that was. 

 

Ok. part 2... I also have a 7yr old 1st grader just diagnosed with adhd and a learning disability. He's a slow prosseser. What ever that means... So any way.. Here's the key. My boys are from different dads. Does this mean I also have adhd. I believe I do. I've done so much research on it lately, and have taken a few test's that say yes.

 

I recently left the corperate life and now work just a few hours a day at home. I never noticed my adhd tendicies while working. I just always thought I was stressed to the max. I've always been an over achiever and workaholic and top in my field. But it's never been good enough I've always thought I could do better.

Wow!! Good to get that all off my chest!! Appreciatte any feed back. My husband thinks maybe I'm reading to much into my symptoms, and dosn't really understand. It does get confusing with all the information out there. I really wish the AMEN clinic wasn't so expensive. Has anyone tried them? Currious...

Ok.. Bye for now!

 

2boys1mom38486.6440046296PS: I should have used spell check. sorry...Hello! Have you considered getting a professional diagnosis by a local psychologist or psychiatrist for yourself? It might really put your mind at ease. If you dont have adhd, then there's a load off your mind. If you do, then you've opened up a whole new area of your life and can go from there. And insurance will often cover diagnosis by a local in-network doc, where they might not consider something along the lines of the Amen clinic. You might want to give your provider a call and see what your options are.chocoholic38488.2899421296

Hello!  I'm a teacher, and have recently joined this board for support for my ADHD husband.  Although I have so much training and expertise with children's learning, I am at a complete loss with my current struggles  in the adult realm.

However, to help you with your sons' situations, I can offer a bit of insight.

With the 16 year old, there could be a combination of factors that influence his learning.  Were his needs ever addressed by his school's service team?  Was he given an IEP or any kind of support?  Is he motivated to learn or does he dislike school?  Are his teachers aware of his needs, and does he have a plan to help him meet his goals?

The one positive thing about your 7 year old being slow to process is that he should receive additional support from teachers.  Are they able to modify his work to meet his needs?  With these two diagnoses, he should be able to get help so that he can learn strategies to help him succeed.  There are now great methods in place to ensure that every child learns, and they will help him learn material at his own rate, hopefully.

How was school for you as a learner?  Are you able to help the kids with their homework?

I've noticed that the kids I had in class who had ADHD usually (but not always) had a parent who at least had those tendencies.  Usually, the parents were not receiving treatment because they learned how to cope, and they were not in a learning setting, so they didn't think of having their own ADHD needs met.  But I noticed that the kids and the parents were a lot alike in the way they thought about things, reacted to learning, learned to read, etc.  The parents shared a lot about themselves with me and wound up confessing that their homes had a lot of change or chaos going on for one reason or another.  That's another factor that affects learning because change or stress affects how the mind processes info. 

I hope you are able to seek help and a diagnosis just for your own peace of mind!  Let me know if you would like more ideas about raising your child's grades.

Tink, Choc, Jack, and hell,

Thanks for the feedback. First things first. Right. Sometimes it just takes the view of others to put it all in perspective. I do have a very supportive husband and 2 wonderful children to be thankful for. I think maybe we all get caught up in how we'd like things to be instead of appreciating what's right in front of us.

Life is a challenge with 2 ADHD'rs, and possibly myself not yet diagnossed. In order to give them the structure and support that they need I think it's time to also be seen by a proffesional who can make the call.

Thanks again!

  Hi again 2/1 Seems like a plan to me! Best of luck. Don't know your whereabouts,but I presently live in Kentucky.My psychiatrist is great! First guy to accuratly identify symptoms and treat effectively. Sometimes one problem masks another(for instance,booze and drugs were my attempts to "self-medicate"Why would I want to self medicate?Becuase I was miserable most of the time,I constantly disappointed myself and others(becuase I was dyslexic(sp),depressed,I had add,and dis-sociative disorders!)and becuase I thought it made me feel better.)Ultimatly,we're all just looking to feel "good". Another example can be anger.Fear often mascerades as anger.Or fear can be expressed as anger. I'm sure your boys(and you)have experienced frustration at times when you don't "perform"like you believe you should.How do you express those feelings?Or do you express them at the time,or repress them until they come out as something else,directed at something or someone else? Anger (for me)usually indicates that I'm "afraid"that I won't get something I want,something will be taken from me,or I will be harmed or diminished in some way.  At any rate,enough "psyco-babel from me. My doc and his wife(also a headshrinker)host their own info-site. His specialty is treating children,which is fine with me,'cause I've been operating on a 10 year olds maturity level for several decades. They treat adults(obviously)as well. Their site is:www.psy5.com I've never bothered to check it out;I'm always too busy. Incidently,I'm very "bi-polar"(manic/depressive)and all the other "experts" blamed all my symptoms,difficulties,and behaviors on that. Even the experts sometimes don't see the big green elephant on the coffee table. Just remember,you HAVE been successful at lots of stuff,so your odds are good. And as far as your boys are concerned,the apple rarely falls far from yhe tree. They're probably very bright too,and you all just need the right elements to present themselves at the right time.  Best of luck,FUN'S JUST STARTED!(with every new piece of self-knowledge you gain will come it's own set of "crap" to deal with) Seriously,it's worth every hard earned inch of progress. Again,good luckDear 2/1, I'm 52 yrs old,male. I was addopted at 3,1/2 yrs,having had a very unstable,somewhat "bused childhood. Here's the bad news:I'm a recovered alchoholic,drug addict,ex-con (drug related crimes)I've had trouble all my life with relationships,jobs,authority,"learning disorders",general behavior,social anxiety,and many more psychologic problems with fancy abreviations. The parents that addopted me were wonderful,highly educated people (tops in their fields,science) They knew I had "problems",but thought they could provide enough love and help to "fix" things. Wrong! I put them,and myself,through HELL for 35 odd years. I can't tell you how hard they tried,(I tried to be "normal too!)all the things they tried,and what it cost them. They're both gone now,and never got to see me "get better" I miss them,and what's worse,carry more regret and remorse for all te things I've done(or not done,or screwed up)than I can express.That's the bad news.  Here's the good:I'm so much better,and happier now,than I DREAMED possible.I can function predictably,and sucessfully.  I'm married to an amazing gal who stood by me (through lots of crap),I have no time to go into (more)details,but the bottom line is,if I can turn arround,so can you. As far as your boys are concerned,they already have a lot going for them.You,for instance(and I'm sure,Dad) There WAS no diagnosis for me when I was their age,very few medications,society,in general,and schools in particular,were more ignorant of these issues than now.  Are you reading too much into your "symptoms"?Possibly,Probably. It's also likely that you are "missing" issues,or miss-interpreting things. The principles of scientific proceedure come into play.1. in order to come to a real conclusion,you must remove ALL variables but one.Impossible with the human mind. 2.It is impossible to observe and anylize yourself without some distortion.3. There is a reason doctors have doctorates.Again,there are many variables,and no guarantees,but doctors have a better shot at diagnosies than layman,usually.4.Do you have issues to sort out?Undenyably.There IS no such thing as "normal". Everyone places somewhere on a "bell" curve of symptoms,or degree of mental "health" Many more people could use help than get it. Some don't know they need it,some don't want it. But EVERYONE experiences SOME trauma in life,everyone is at the mercy of their particular brain and body chemistry,and everyone lives in this not so perfect world. That's why in order for a psychiatrist to obtain a degree,they must undergo a long period of psycho-analysis themselves.(not to determine IF they have problems,but to IDENTIFY and treat them) I'm no doctor,and as a member of "AA"I can assure you that some advice you will get from your peers will be golden,some will be downright dangerous.  MY advice is this: Your husband(becuase he still IS your husband)is probably a very understanding and resiliant guy. Celebrate that! BUILD on that!You sound like an intelligent,motivated,LOVING mother! Don't under-estimate that! and finally,and this is most important,MAKE SURE YOUR KIDS AND YOUR HUSBAND KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM! Sounds trite,but let me tell you from personal experience,EVERYONE suffers sometimes,and it's usually luck when we stumble on answers,but KNOWING that there's someone who loves,and at least partially understands,you,is the most powerful and effective tool around. I was always a pessimist,a quitter,etc. The fact that OTHER people didn't quit me saved my life,litterally hundreds of times. I owe my sense of "right and wrong"to my folks,and my continuing recovery to my wife. Hang in there.HAVE SOME FUN! Don't let either yourself,or your kids,be miserable most of their lives. Do what you can,take what you need,and leave the rest. I look back on 52 years,and I wasted much of it.Too bad for me,boo hoo.My happiness is MY responsability now,becuase I'm recovered enough,and nurtured enough,to be capable.No-one gets a better shot at life than that. As far as "WHY ME?"is concerned,who knows. I've got a wonderful cousin who teaches medicine at Harvard. At 17 one of his sons developed full blown schysophrenia (sp) He may spend the rest of his life trapped in a night-mare,imprisoned in an institution. I wish I could "save"him,but if if he's saved,some-one else will do it.(just a little perspective) Thers an old joke,wherein,a horse craps on a mouse,who is therefore miserable.Until a cat comes along,extricates him,cleans him off,and eats him. The moral being,everyone(or everything)that craps on you,isn't your enemy;and everyone who gets you out of it ain't your necessarily,your friend. Carefully decide if you WANT advice. ("going with your gut"has it's value at times;at least you know you you made a decission you THOUGHT was right)If you do seek advice,carefully evaluate the sourse,and if you feel they are qualified to give it,TAKE it! It's a waste of time for all concerned if you don't. As Denis Miller would say"That's MY poinion,I could be wrong." I wish you and your's,best of luck,and tons of happiness.  JackbluetooThat is a $hitload of psychostimulants!!! Maybe it's too much for a 16 year old? I'm not sure, I once was on 36mg of concerta and it was too much for my studies. Now I'm on 10mg of adderall and I went from a 1.6 last semester to a 3.4 this semester. Just an idea. . . Chances are you do have ADD, I really hope that you are able to see a psychologist to know for sure. Also, I'm not married but I've been on these forums for a while. . . You might need a realllly good sit down with your husband to explain yourself before you do all of this. I've seen it cause big problems. Hope everything works! Oh yea, and your other son. I would image thta's total bullsh*t about slow processing. He has ADD for god sakes! I've been called slow my whole life but I know I'm running circles around the people saying it, they're just "non-productive" circles!

To anyone who has children who are in school (I have two boys) or they are in school or whatever the situation, an excellent book to read is:  Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World by Jeffrey Freed M.A.T and Laurie Parsons. "Jeffrey Freed works exclusively with ADD and gifted children and has developed a simple, easy-to-apply program that works with the special abilities of the ADD child."  You may learn to not only help your oldest son, but also your 7yr old (slow processor my butt).  I highly suggest purchasing the book, not just checking it out at a library, since I refer back to it constantly. 

As far as you having ADD/ADHD could very well be since it is hereditary.  Another book I would suggest since you are female is: Women With Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden MS, MFCC.  If your husband continues to think you're overreacting or being oversensitive, be strong.  Go with what you feel is right, us ADD'ers have excellent instincts and a strong intuition.

If you (or anyone else) would like to PM me, go right ahead.  I'm an at home mom and wouldn't mind the "grown-up" talk.