Aren’t we ever allowed to forget?! | ADHD Information

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OK, today I'm gonna rant.  Yes, I have trouble with remembering sometimes.  And yes, a lot of it has to do with my ADD,  but regular people forget too!

I really hate it when someone asked me to do something and then acts like I forgot if I don't do it immediately.  "Remember I asked you to blah blah?" like only 20 minutes later.  This is stuff that doesn't need to be done asap, like take out the garbage, or unload the dishwasher.  Not like " OH, I'm on fire, could you put it out for me"

And if you do want it done right away, please tell me so, and ask me if I'm not currently doing something else that needs to be finished first.  How do I know you need it asap if you don't say something!. I guess the post about the copy lady made me think of that.

Plus, say you have 10 things to do in a day and you do 9 but forget 1,  how come people can't give you some slack on that.  They only harp on the 1 you forget!

This is why I've told very few people about my ADD, cause if I do forget something, it's like, "oh, you forgot because you have ADD, did you take your pills today?"  ARRRRGHG!!!  Or they figure I'm going to forget and keep reminding me like I'm a little kid!

I was reading in the parents forum and there's a lot about teachers holding ADHD kids to a higher behavior standard than the other kids.  Such as Susie who is known to have ADHD gets sent to the office for falling out of her chair or making faces in line, while Jack who is not ADHD does similar things either is ignored or just told to knock it off. 

Well, I feel a little better, thanks for letting me vent

Barb

Who is it specifically that you're thinking of when you write this? Is there a way to sit down with this person and discuss how it makes you feel, how you'd like to change the interaction, etc? Hugs to you Barb!   

Its really crappy when you have to deal with stuff like that from people you dont see very often, but when its from people you live with- ugh.

Maybe he'd go to counseling with you? Sometimes it helps a resistant person to hear requests from a professional third party.

chocoholic,

It's a few different people, and most aren't worth the trouble cause I don't see them much, but I guess the one that bugs me the most is my husband.

And yes, we've 'discussed' how I feel, ad nauseaum!, but it doesn't change.  I'm sure he's as frustrated with me.  He's a type A, always on the go, always needs to be doing something.  His parent's used a lot of guilt to get their kids motivated and it worked, but almost too much.  They all have a hard time taking time off and relaxing.  A lot of there self worth is tied up in accomplishing "things" and I'm not that way so we clash sometimes.  He's mostly a really great guy and we've been together 25 years this year so I guess we're doing OK. 

I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, went through the whole shebang, surgery, chemo, reconstruction, and while I've been given a clean bill of health (for now) when you think you might be leaving here much sooner than you thought, the idea that you are only as good as your last project, deal etc, is shown to be Bunk!  It's our relationships with each other and the time we spend with loved ones that is really the important thing!  I know he feels the same but with his early training it's hard for him to actually live it.

 I guess I just needed to vent a little.  He has noticed a big difference since I've been taking Ritalin, but that little question"have you taken your pill today?" really bugs me.

arbiterxero,

I feel for you too, when I can get myself in the "zone" I too can get an amazing amount of stuff done.  But it's hit or miss, at least before I got my pretty little yellow pills. 

 I'm afraid what you experienced is so typical of the working world.  I worked in offices when I was first out working and realized for me it was awful!  Just like school, folks like us just don't' fit into their little boxes.  (by the way, I love your picture, is it that guy from that Matt Groening cartoon about space?  I forgot the name of it right now, But I just loved it!  sorry they canceled it)

Retail was a little better  in that you can walk around, the problem solving is usually varied and most people are really grateful for your help.  As long as I didn't let the occasional A**hole get to me, it was fun work. 

 However the pay sucks,(unless you want to go into buying or management, and then you're back in an office) and as I got older  I needed more money.  So I started my own design business which was great!  While it lasted anyway, made much more money, but it needed a much more motivated person than I was then.  When we had babies I "retired" since it didn't bring in enough to pay for childcare and make a profit.  Now however my 'babies' are 12 and 15 and I'd like to go back to something.  Perhaps with meds. I can make it work this time.

It is really great though to come to a place like this and vent and know that you all understand.  So nice to not be told ' oh, just buck up.  You just need to work harder and be more organized' 

Thanks, Barb

heh futurama.....

yeah a great show, Zap Brannigan is my hero...

"I have a sexy disorder, what do I call it again kif? That's right Sex-Lexia"

ha ha ha... I still watch the re-runs nightly...

Oh and I guess it doesn't help me that I DESPISE sales.
arbiterxero38488.5640046296Pffft, I know how you feel.......

I do EVERYTHING in a day but I forget 5 details on a couple items and I get HARPED on for it......

WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Normal people don't miss those details but they get significantly less done! Nobody says 'wow you've done so much!', no they just sit there and tell me what I didn't do.....way to go positive re-enforcement.....

Buncha w**kers...... I get 2x as much done as anyone else here and I get harped on because I didn't fill out a name on a folder.... not like you can't look in the folder and SEE THE NAME ON THE PAPERS.....

w**kers...
[QUOTE=Reizende] Funny how all the non-ADDrs keep asking me why I forgot something over & over. You would think they would remember that I can't remember anything.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I can't figure that out either? Perhaps they are.....also?????

BarJ... On your clean bill of health!

Thanks so much, I'm really lucky.!

Barbj

chocoholic,  thanks for the hugs.  he's really a great guy most of the time, but he's not interested in counseling, and I don't think things are really all that bad.

I think I was just having a bad day.  I can be pretty unreasonable myself, and he puts up with a lot.  One of the things about being in a relationship this long is that we're gonna piss each other off quite often.  And be happy quite often.  But thanks for the support, it helps.

arbiterxero,  Yeah, Futurama, that was it! Great show, sorry it's gone.  One of my favorites now is Family Guy.  It got off to a slow start and it's too weird for a lot of people, but it just cracks me up!  By the way, what does your screen name mean and how is it pronounced?

Barb.

Funny how all the non-ADDrs keep asking me why I forgot something over & over. You would think they would remember that I can't remember anything.