Am I infected....

Ronc:

You sure sound like me, the ghost problem and all. I too am in IT. Cannot sit still long enough to do much programming, but I love it.

I really recommend you see a specialist. It would help you understand and work things out better.

And yeah - ADHD/ADD is not an infection. ADHD/ADD is just another way the mind works. It has it's strength and weaknesses. This very left brain world does not tolerate it much though.

Hey man, first of all, I don't think you're a freak. I can certainly relate to a heck of a lot you were saying. Like when I was younger and I'd stay at my grans house I used to get so scared up in my bedroom that ghosts were in there. I literally got shivers up my spine when I'd walk to the bathroom. At 21 I still get that now, but now-a-days I like the edge/thrill of feeling like that. Sometimes it's bad though  But hey.

It does  sound like you've got adhd but I'm no doctor so I think you would realy benefit from talking to one and just discussing the possibility. I'm not too sure about how you would go about that in canada but I've just checked out this website and maybe it could help you out:

http://www.adhdcanada.ca/

You sound like you've got the negatives of adhd but also a lot of posistives. Like Whats_My_Name said, the trick is channelling it in the right way. 

Take Care  

Hi,

Just found this site and am glad I did.

I have been trying to find what might be wrong with me and my research has lead me to ADD. I don't want to self diagnose or feel sorry for myself.

Maybe if I talk about some of my issues those who really know they have ADD can shed some light on my situation.

I was always very hyper as a child - beyond any normal limits. Could never finish anything. Never could complete homework, projects. Always thought things were in my room...ghosts, and so on(embarrasing saying this...). Extremely shy and avoiding interaction with people.

As an adult I suffer from most of these as well plus many more. I can never concentrate, never finish anything I start. I am always gun-ho on starting projects but never see them through. I can't cope with social interaction. Always walking around with my head down. Always think people are staring at me. I can't even read a book unless it's some non-fiction science / programming book that really has my interest. Whether it keeps my interest for long is another story. I get extremely tired after only a few minites of reading.

I always forget things. leave my wallet on my car roof and drive away and lose it. Spend a long time lookinf for my car keys when they are in my hand the whole time. I put things down at home and work and then spend a log time looking for them. Makes me look really stupid at work. If I don't write down my tasks to do at work then they are gone. I am so paranoid about forgetting things like car keys in the ignition I check my pocket 20 times to confirm my keys are there. For some reason the first 10 times knowing they are in my pocket isn't enough.

I always put things off to a later time. Very serious procrastination! I get zoned out and can spend hours just staring blankly at my computer screen or a wall. I go to start my work and very quickly forget what I am supposed to do and spend a lot of time retracing my steps, my programming code.

I have a weird temper. I can get very angry at the drop of a hat, shoot out some nasty comments and then drop it a minute later and sometimes not even feel bad for what I said. And other times it will bother me for days. I was abled to get a wife which for me was a miracle since I can't deal with other people. Always was scared of girls. First girl friend I ever had was when I was 21. Alot of these spurts of anger and comments go towards her for no reason. This makes me sick thinking about how she feels after I say these things.

I am at risk of losing my job all the time because I can't be productive. The strange thing is I always have good jobs. I am a senior programmer for an internet company. Everyone thinks I am brilliant. When I finally understand something I almost always become far better than anyone else in the company at it. In the beginning it seems like I am dumb / stupid and in the end people are impressed with how much I know. my mind runs at 10000 miles an hour and I think about 100 different topics in a short time, most of which is pointless and useless and distracts me from real tasks at hand. I lie to cover up my lack of work progress. And this always compounds.

This comment is common with me - "I was worried when you started working here, but now you're amazing..."

I can't goto funerals or see dead people - or even know about it. I get terrified and almost think they are in my room at night. When I was single and alone I spent many a night in utter terror and most of the time it was for no reason.

I guess alot of what I mentioned seems beyond ADD, not really sure. I recently saw a medical survey saying that zinc supplements have shown to treat ADD in children very well. I just started taking this and hope it helps.

I don't have a family doctor, or even know where I would go to get help.

gee, from reading back on this message, I sound like a bloody freak

I appeciate any help, suggestions, observations you guys have.

I can only add that much of what you descride of yourself fits me as well.  I am not in IT, my background is in electrical. I can understand electrical control issues very quickly. I once ripped out an electrical control system for the smoke evacuation system in an indoor shopping mall and redesigned a system that worked in an evening.  Brilliant! they said.  I have always felt that true I do some things so very well......but you do not want to live for one second inside this brain of mine because within seconds your head would self destruct.  I have little patience for people who can't keep up when I get in "the zone" and would rather tuck myself away during those times.

In my case I walked away from a business partnership and realize more and more how much ADD was affecting my effectivness and ended up being the real reason I left.  I could not handle the day to day minutia of business and ended up further and further behind. (Wonder how many meetings I spaced out!)

Anyway... I have been on some meds for a few weeks and can say I have noticed I difference and am able to concentrate at a different level and there by get things done.

I got my second appointment with the doctor tomorrow and hopefully will make some progress.

The doctor would not diagnose ADD without first checking for any biological problems mimicing this disorder.

My final blood work should tell all tomorrow. It's defibately taking a long time for the doctor to offer a diagnosis. I hope he does tomorrow. My work is suffering badly and each day I move closer to not having it anymore.

He did give me a tip to help me in the mean time. Told me to take Ginko until he comes up with a diagnosis. I haven't seen any benefits of it over the last 2 weeks at all. Worst of all my sister who is a nurse says Ginko is known to cause Intestinal bleeding. eeeek!

The price you gotta pay to be a wee bit normal :)

Hey, I ended up working in IT also. I was always able to learn a new technology extremely quickly. Now that I am starting to understand ADD, I realize it was my ability to hyperfocus on something new and exciting for days. I would lay down and drop off to sleep for 2-3 hours and then get right back on keyboard. Of course once I learned a new programming language, I could not handle the grunt work of day to dat coding. I usualy start off great in a job, but things eventually catch up with me.

I too had horrible fears well into my 20s. But by then I generally made sure I was so intoxicated by bedtime a gremlin could be sitting on my cheast and I would not know it. The line between my imagination and reality got pretty thin sometimes. I wonder if over-active imaginations tend to be a common thread in ADD??