went to my kids' 5th grade graduation ceremony last night. 5th grade was tough year for him. the school handed out awards and certificates -everything from academics to "good citizenship" and "good effort" awards. my kid got nothing and it was totally obvious as he walked up on stage to get shake hands with the principal in dead silence. it was everything i could do to hold back tears for him, my heart broke. he was 1 of 7 or so kids out of 100 that received no recognition. surely there was something good the teacher could have recognized him for. i am no longer sad, but angry. i need advice - should i contact the school and tell them how this made my son and me feel? by the way, talked to my son after the ceremony, he said the whole thing made him feel "weird." Please someone help - sometimes I feel that I am the only person in the whole world who will advocate for him.
That is better yet. Sometimes I do meet with teachers and principals and never really get my point across because I can't think of everything to say. Writing a letter and being one sided is the way to go. This way they can't interrupt you.
Good luck to you.....
I would have a meeting with the principal just for that reason. Out of 100 children 7 did not get any type of recognition. Not even good attendance, always smiling, snappy dresser, anything would be better than no award at all. Try and stress to the principal that because there were so few that did not receive awards the students were "left out". Like your son, they felt weird about the ceremony. It is horrible when parents have to sit on the sidelines and referee the doings of the school. I don't think that teachers think about the outcome of their actions. They don't think of how the child will feel if left out. And they wonder why some children have self esteem issues. Thanks for your reply. i think that rather than calling a meeting with the principal, I'll craft a letter that might state my feelings better than a face-to-face meeting. i'd rather this be a one-way conversation anyway - I don't really care to hear their reasons for shunning my child in front of the whole school. This sort of thing might propel an adult toward achievement, but a child incorporates these feelings deep down. I have a long road ahead of me.advocatemom2...I just want to say hats off to you for keeping your temper in check! I don't know if I could have done the same thing!!! 100 out of 7 kids got an award? This is one of the reasons that we have "Gangs" of kids that rebel against the world.
I think putting your son in a sport of hobby is very important. My son is in soccer and swimming. I told the instructors a little about his problems just so that they don't bring him down for something he can't help. I always think gymnastics is great for kids with ADHD... have you tried that?
Cindy
thanks everyone for your wonderful suggestions. My son is so much like me when I was his age that it really makes me wonder if I had/have ADHD. I can so much relate to what he is going through and I also wonder if now that I am in a position to really fight back, perhaps I am taking on the my son's cause based on some deeply rooted terrible experiences I went through as a young kid. In the first grade, my teacher actually taped me to my desk and all the kids laughed at me! She put masking tape all around my desk so I couldn't get out. Seems I couldn't sit still. Anyway, I would love to boost my son's confidence by getting him into a sport or hobby that he enjoys. I just haven't found the right one because he is quite rigid and not open to trying new things. I thought summer camp would be good for him, but he refused to even go to an open house to look at the camp. My son also has some difficulty having a reasoned conversation with me, so I bump up against many walls when I try to talk to him. So here is my question to all of you. Do I nudge/make my son try new things or would that backfire? I consider myself to be a liberal mom in that I don't force my kids into doing things they really don't want to do, but now I wonder if that is such a good approach.
Another sport that is 'ADD friendly' is squash. No distractions, just two people in a white room with only a ball to focus on.
It worked for my son....and for me.
That breaks my heart! I can't believe only 7 out of 100 kids did not get an award. I would have been in the principal's office the next day. Did you send your letter? Have you received a response? I'd love to hear what the principal has to say about this.Also, summer camp...my son is the same age as yours, and I am going through the same thing. He really does not want to go, but my husband and I really want him to go. Camp was a great experience for me as a kid and for my husband. We want our son to have the experience of it, as well.Thank you for your response. I really appreciate that you took your time to reply and gave me suggestions. If you would like I could e-mail you a copy of the letter I faxed to the principal - it was really good. It was not nasty but very pointed. I don't want to take this any further because my son is especially sensitive to any kind of attention being placed on him. So out of respect for him, I will continue to work behind the scenes to protect him. I could go on and on about my experiences with the public school system. My son's teacher would punish him for making doodles on his papers - he would have to re-do the entire paper! Well, my boss, who is an absolutely brilliant man, doodles all the time. I think it's a sign of a great thinker! Today I have to make the phone call to the middle school my son will go to in the fall to begin the process (again) of having him evaluated for an IEP plan. This is a full time job (and I'm a single mom!)
Here the awards are as followed : a honor roll,ab honorroll, citzenship, music,computer, most improved. This countrey school is about who you are.We came here cause 15-20 classes which we like not just the who you are part. The school board here is the biggest on this. There baseball/softball league is based by age and ability. I guess un experienced players and not so good players are at a disadvantage. No way will he play in it again. The teams they play I think are not likt this. Today winning is to much a big deal. Recreations teams should be draft only. The competitive leagues are for this. Whatever happened to just doing it for fun.We all can't be Tiger woods.One thing also, it's obvious his teacher has a bad attitude and working on his positive aspects and bringing more awareness to those things are very productive and positive.Now that you have vented your frustration, I think that you should focus on what is really important here (and you probably already are).