It's good to hear that you are becoming more conscious of you actions, but don't damper who you are. If you've always been animated in conversations and the guy who makes 'em laugh then keep being that guy. Now that you know you are ADHD it will make a difference. You do become more aware of the decisions you make, but not always.
Stop getting down on yourself. Obviously there are a few people out there who like you the way you are, hence the three year relationship, friends, and coworkers. For those who are close to you let them know about this website. Let them get support. It makes it a little bit easier for them to deal with some of the wild decisions us ADD/ADHD'ers make, because they will know that they aren't alone.
As for your relationship with your significant other, sit down and talk about your diagnosis, and what it means. Talk about a tactful, non-condesending way to remind you that the some of the money in your account still has to be applied to bills, and waiting to buy things for your renovation is a good idea. You probably have your strengths that you bring to the relationship. Like thinking out of the box for great, less expensive renovation ideas.
Set up things in your home on a routine. As a pilot you probably do something like that before every flight, to make sure you don't forget anything. If you do all the things you need to do in a certain order before every flight, then you know that you won't forget anything, now apply it to home.
Living with ADD/ADHD is a lifetime diagnosis. Think of your strengths and how you can use them to make your life a little easier, instead of how it can limit you.
...and by the way, I would trust you to be the pilot of a flight I'm on.
Hey... not a big deal, actually probably a bonus, at least the passengers would know that you wouldn't fall asleep on the job , huh? Don't get down on yourself either, or change who you are. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago, and the only thing that majorly changed was my perception of things. The good part of it is that knowing is a big deal, and you can look for strategies and tools to deal with any problems that may be caused by it. For me just knowing, was a bit of a relief. Let me know how it goes...Since I have and know ADD, I would say no. I can usually focus fine for short periods when my life is at stake. I'm sure you aren't daydreaming during takeoff and landings. However, I can definately see how other people would panic. Definately keep it under wraps.For some strange reason, no. Not really.
you knew that the Captain of the airplane on your next flight had ADHD?
I'm new to the club here. Although friends and colleagues have for years made comments to the effect that I should be on Ritalin, I never seriously considered the possibility of being ADHD. I just thought that I was a little "hyper" at times, and had an active mind. Too active apparently.
I did well in high school, got a 4 year scholarship to university, and well, things started to slip...lack of focus on school, parting, girls, the usual. But the most apparent thing that stands out when I look back at my life (39 now), is the impulsivity. It's like I revelled in the challenge of reacting, of change, of chaos.
With a two year old son, and a three year relationship, the chaos started to effect those two, the most important people in my life. Things came to a head in January of this year, and six weeks ago, the doc says 'yep', you're ADHD.
My life as a pilot promoted the inherent instability of my brain, what with moving frequently 'on the way up the ladder'. It seemed the pilot lifestyle suited my abhorence of nine to five, monday to friday. It also killed a previous relationship; she couldn't handle, I mean our relationship couldn't handle the continuos moving from town to town.
Now I'm Captain of a 140 seat passenger jet (since three months). I've always excelled at the flying gig, now I think due to my ability to 'hyper-focus', and the fact that my dad was a fighter pilot in the armed forces, and I was raised to be a pilot. It's in the blood...
Since my semi-official diagnosis, I'm being much more conscious of my actions around colleagues. Not so much talking etc., but it's not easy. In a crowd, I become much more animated etc. Its always been my way, the class clown etc. It's also been hard in the last month not to get down on myself, thinking back to what I thought were great inspirations, and now are due to some 'hard wiring' problem or whatever in my brain. I thought that my impulsive reactions were just justifiable responses to external stimuli, now I think they were just my brain's way of dealing with dynamic situations: reacting was a lot more easier for me than analysing and coherently responding to the events in one's life.
Oh well, I'm still funny, I'm still intelligent, I'm still prone to crazy ideas, but I'm still one heck of a pilot: safe, efficient, if somewhat talkative at times. Meds are out, Salmon Oil is my new thing...the awareness of the diagnosis is the biggest single change in my life of recent times. Now to change my homelife so that I don't do further damage (renovations and my disregard for the financial implications of them, as well as my inattention to my wife's needs and concerns) to a young family.
If you've read this far, thanks for listening. Please believe that if you were a passenger on my next flight, you'll get a 110 per cent effort from me. No newspapers or crossword puzzles...
Gotta run, my wife leaves today for six days and takes this laptop with her. I'll check back in a week and read the messages as I do. I'm very appreciative that a site like this exists, and enjoy/learn from the posts of other middle-somethings who are recently diagnosed. What a roller-coaster ride it's been for us, cheers to making the future a little more stable (or whatever).
Notanexcuse