just hear me out a little, I want to give a bit of my background.
I just came back from my sons pediatrician. According to him, and this man is much older, 70's or more, my son is not add or adhd. I've gone through the Connor testing with his school and his teacher didn't agree on a lot of things that I had checked off. The school psych says he's most likely not add, according to this questionairre. They are now doing the WPPSI tesing on my son, and have just begun that.
My son has several meltdowns/tantrums a day, mostly due to frustration. He has speech problems and is in speech class, he's behind on motor skills, he NEVER does his homework, he's in K and gets 4 nights of homework a week, he forgets what he wants to say often, must play at all times, is up very late at night and can't get up in the morning. He's extremely emotional, can't be spoken to by a stranger, he flips out. I also have a dd who is nothing like this. It isn't my parenting, even though I think it is often me, who hasn't a clue how to help him.
anyway, the pedi suggested a child psychologist and a nuerologist and gave me some referrals, mostly because my son would not cooperate during the physical exam. cried loudly and objected to the blood pressure machine. After that he just kept repeating, 'I want to go home' over and over and over.
Now, this comes back to me. I've been reading non stop the last few weeks about adult ADD for myself. My life is chaotic. I'm never on time for anything, I have no sense of direction, can't tell my left from right, I have paperwork everywhere, piles of stuff that I'm too overwhelmed to even begin thinking about going through it all. My bills are always late, if they get paid at all. I get paid on Friday, the money's gone on Saturday and other than grocery shopping, I've no idea where my money's gone. My house is a wreck, vacuming is overwhelming, plants are dying, dust everywhere, and mostly complete disorganization. Not to mention I haven't a clue how to decorate or hang window treatments so I just don't. I procrastinate with everything, including my kids school projects, getting up from the computer to go to work, I lose all sense of time. I'm very easily overwhelmed. I'm also in an extremely demeaning job, for me, and I think I'm more intelligent than the job that I have or actually any job that I've had. Right now I'm a cashier in a grocery store. I don't think I'm qualified to do anything else. I have NO self esteem. I'm in a bad marriage that I'm too 'stuck' to get out of. I flip out at the smallest of things. Feel like my body and brain will explode sometimes. I'm the eternal Eyeore, and always have been. I fit many of the symptoms of ADD, many.
My point is, if my son isn't diagnosed with ADD then how can I be? I understand it's hereditary. I feel like, here we go again, just when I think I have an answer to my lifelong misery, nothing good will come of it. I'm also a recovering addict, as is my dh. and I understand that ADD and addiction go hand in hand, so to speak.
I've made an appointment with my regular physician, my gyno suggested that I get my thyroid checked. I don't know why, other than I told her that I'm extremely lathargic, no motivation. I'm terrified of going to my doc, telling him I think I may have ADD and him poo pooing me or laughing me out the door. Like I said, where do I go from here? Maybe I'm so desperate to live a 'normal' life that all these symptoms are merely in my head. But then, why have I felt like this all my life? Why do I constantly rip the cuticles and the skin around them until I bleed and have been doing this as long as I can remember? Why do I think this is me, when I read the messages on the board and yet, I'm being told my son isn't ADD but there is something there?
really just needed to get all this out. Sorry for such a long, drawn out, pathetic introduction.
Don't worry - you don't sound pathetic! Frustrated, yes, pathetic, no!