First meeting with the school tomorrow!

Talking about schools here---I just got home with my girls---we were in the couselor's office again (not for my younget)---my oldest was threatened to be killed by another student (male).  I mean like what is going on there???  They have bully assemblies all the time.  Does it work???  I am totally aggrevated.  I went in the counselor's & asked her if being "this incident" happened at school, what are they going to do about it???  Because they did not help at all with my youngest & her problems (ADHD, not diagnosed as of yet).  So now I'm pissed.  Just needed to vent.  Sorry I am "off" subject, but sort of on because of the school issues.

Sue

I am absolutely going to test her for learning disabilities. Will the school do that? Will the school also do the IQ test and psych eval??

The MEAP (Michigan) test is a state standardized test that they start taking in 3rd grade. She is in 2nd grade, and they are "practicing" taking the test. The teacher, in a recent "student lead conference" said to all of us, including my child, that she "bombed" the test. Amongst other negative comments. It was after this meeting that I decided I needed to do something. I was fet up with the negative comments about my child and getting zero help from the teacher or school.

On the MEAP test, where they have to read a story then answer the questions on the next page, she was not able to do at all......at all. And the math problems are also very difficult for her. She fails in a lot of areas per the teacher. But I think she reads well and can at least add really well.... I have no idea really what she should be doing at this grade level, 2nd, but according to her teacher, it seems she is failing everything. No positive comments about anything.

True.

We learned, by the way (through the testing the school did on my son) that my son has a problem with Visual Motor Integration.  It's a test where they have the child copy geometric figures from one box into a blank one.  My son struggled so much he could barely do this.  He tested at 14th %.  What this told the school was that he cannot easily put on paper what he sees on a chalkboard, for example.  It can create huge problems and frustration for him and can make it appear on paper that he has no idea what he's doing (even if he actually understands the work he's supposed to do.)

I am absolutely going to test her for learning disabilities. Will the school do that? Will the school also do the IQ test and psych eval??

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Yes.  The tests I mentioned in my post (all the ones you are asking about here) were done by the school.  But it does take a while to get it done through the school.  You really need to stay on top of the staff involved, but I think you'll find they are much more receptive to you when you show them a little gratitude for what they're doing.  I was very quick to send thank you notes (e-mails) for the meetings and the time they all took in caring for my son.  Maybe it helped.  I sure think it did.

jrallen,

The school came up with this (some of the suggestions were on the school psychologists' remarks on the testing results sent to me at my home and forwarded to school staff).  I can say, however, that when I had my IEP meeting, the staff there continually asked me as we went over each section if I agreed with the plan and if I had anything to suggest.  Someone was there to take minutes, so all of my remarks and concerns were put on paper.  I felt very comfortable with things.

Thank you all very much for all the great advice!!!

lillian-

Yes, the School Social worker actually said she could not and would not call me with updates on how she was progressing. She told me I would have to contact her and ask her.... that was last year. We moved and started with a new school and teachers in November. Things started out good, but now it's back to the same old same old.  And when I asked her current teacher to give us daily notes on what was happening in class, she rolled her eyes...she did eventually start doing it, but it just tells us her behavior in class. She is not getting any help.

Leigh_GA_66-

Did the school come up with those ideas or did you? Will I have to come up with suggestions to help my daughter or will they??

laurapalmer-

We live in MI! Good luck Tuesday!

jrallen,

Similar situations here (same attention problems and academic concerns), and now my son is  on an IEP which will start for 4th grade.  He's ADHD (diagnosed) and deals with a lot of anxiety and can be obsessive over things (to say the least).  Here's how it all worked for us. After all the initial paperwork, a number of SST (Student Support Team) meetings which involved me, the teacher, asst. principal, school psychologist, her assistant, school counselor and school learning specialist, things eventually got rolling.  We had our private therapist come to one of the meetings for a little extra support. After filling out more paperwork, my son was tested about two months later (not just for LDs but for IQ and a full psych. evaluation along with teacher and learning specialist observations of my son).  This process took a long time compared to someone who goes ahead and gets it done privately.  After all the results came in, he qualified for an IEP under OHI (other health impaired---ADHD).  The school really worked hard to get the IEP set up before this school year officially ended, so I had the meeting the Monday after the last day of school.  My son was given a specific teacher best suited for his learning style.  He will be taken out of class and go to a smaller group of about 8 students for the two subjects he had the hardest time with this year.  Other things that are written into his plan are things like, when given standardized tests he is allowed to write the answers directly in the booklet rather than having to transfer them to an answer sheet and fill in the bubbles.  He is also to be given special study guides, and when things are written on the board in large groups (like multiple math problems or sentences that must be "edited" by the child), he will have to be given a sheet of paper with these things already written down for him to avoid the certain difficulty he would have transferring the information from chalkboard to paper.  They will also make special provisions to allow him to use a computer to type if needed.  I think something else that was mentioned was he can be tested in a more secluded area than the classroom if needed.  The IEP has a lot of goals and instruction on it ("repeat directions twice", etc.) and can be changed.  I'm praying things will be different for 4th grade.  Third grade was a tough one.  Good luck at your meeting.

Jrallen-

I can't believe you have the same issues with your daughter.  At home & at school.  You live in NJ????  LOL  Please feel free to PM me anytime.  You can also send me an email & we can share the info.  Hopeully, I'll find something out at the dr.'s on Tues. & then I can share what can be the problem.  Talk to you soon.

Sue

Read my previous post because I added something. 

Now, it sounds to me like your child has not had the best of teachers this year.  I hope she's getting a new teacher next year?  Twenty years in education, maybe the teacher's burned out? 

Anyway, I would keep up the non-verbal cues with the new teacher next year (I hope!) to see if they work better.  

I don't know what the MEAP is, but it seems to me, if your child is struggling academically and has "bombed" a major standardized test, which is what I am assuming the MEAP is, then you have reason to have her tested for learning disabilities.  Definitely bring this up in the meeting. 

The teacher has tried the non-verbal clues, amongst other things, and nothing seems to work. It bothers the teachers waaaayyyy more than myself. I have talked to her Dr. about it, and her dentist, and none of them are concerned. They all say she will grow out of it and that she wont "walk down the isle (wedding) sucking her thumb", so that is the least of my worries.  I was hoping that by now the peer pressure would work, but it doesn't. Not yet anyhow. She has not been tested for learning disabilities. Believe it or not, her teacher now, was special ed teacher for 20 some years, and does not believe she has any learning disabilities.

She can read well and can add well, but the Teacher told me she "bombed" the MEAP. This was also said in front of my daughter, btw...She has difficulty doing subtraction, and when she has to read a story then answer questions about the story, she has a real difficult time doing that.  When I try to help her, she crys and yells and gets very frustrated and says "I don't understand!!!!!"

Has she been tested for learning disabilities?  When you say she does not understand the math and reading lesson plans, what does she not understand?  Is she able to read and do the math calculations?

From what I have read in your posts, I would want her to have a study buddy, for sure.  This is someone in the class who sits next to her and peer tutors her.  I would want the thumb sucking to be addressed, as well.  I had a sixth grade student who did this, BTW!  Usually, the child is not conscious s/he is doing it, so this student and I devised a code, where I would let her know she was sucking her thumb.  When I was walking around the room, I came over and lightly tapped on her desk.  It worked really well and none of the other students noticed it.  I would suggest something similar to this with the teacher. 

I'm back, editing my post, as usual.  Did the teacher actually say she did not have time to contact you weekly?  Oh, my!  I definitely would address this in the meeting, but do so without anger.  Mention it off-hand, letting the special education director and principal know.  This is totally unacceptable, particularly at your child's age.  Make sure you receive weekly progress reports on your child.  There is absolutely no reason her teacher cannot do this, and for a struggling child, it is essential.  If it is not done, the child will fall too far behind to catch up.  I had over 100 students, many with IEPs and modifications, and I did this for a number of parents.  It's easy, and there is no excuse for a teacher's not doing it.  Yikes!  I can't believe she said that!  Hey, I have done daily reports with students who had very serious behavioral issues.  Decide what you want to know, and devise a weekly check chart with the teacher's comments at the bottom of the page. 

I have the same issues with getting her up in the morning, putting on clothes, brushing her hair...and the same issue with a school counselor last year. Never heard from her. Her answer to me was that I should call her weekly to see how my daughter is doing because she has so many kids to keep track of, she can't possibly remember all the meetings........and her teachers kept complaining about her behavior, yet offered no suggestions or help. They would just give tons of excuses, too large of class size for the them to handle, no time, etc...

lillian,

still anxiously waiting your reply!!

We are having our first meeting tomorrow with the school reps to discuss starting a 504 plan for my daughter.  As I have talked about this before a week ago or so, we are very new to ADD/ADHD. I received a lot of great suggestions on what to do at this meeting, get everything in writing, take notes, bring someone with me, etc.. But I have one more question. I am assuming they are going to ask me what my expectations are of them, or what accomodations I want for my daughter. And really I am not sure, because I do not know what will help her. Does anyone have any ideas on what the school should/could do to help my daughter succeed in the classroom? ie; homework, paying attention, focusing, understanding the work, etc.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

Great!

She is turning 8 years old next month. She has a terrible time sitting still during boring class times, she has trouble understanding the lesson plans, mostly math and reading comprehension. She can't focus on the lesson at hand, gets distracted easily. She still sucks her thumb. Not sure if that has anything to do with ADD or if that is just a whole other issue! She only has ADD, mild hyperactivity, meaning, she can't really sit still long. For example, in the classroom, at a restaurant, during homework... i guess anywhere.  She excels at art and one-on-one activities, like tutoring. The teachers have always complained to us that they don't have time to work one-on-one with her....

I have heard the schools aren't much help, and ours has not been. So I called this meeting and am ready for the fight. I will let you all know what transpires!

We are meeting with the school districts Director of Special Ed, the Principal, the school social worker and the teacher....

WOW HAD THE SAME SITUATION.  WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS 4 HER DAY CARE TEACHER PULLED ME ASIDE AND ASKED ME TO HAVER HER TESTED WITH THE PUBLIC SCHOOL, SHE NOTICED SOME BEHAVIOR THAT MIGHT BRING ON PROBLEMS WHEN SHE GOES TO SCHOOL.  SO I CALLED THE SCHOOL THEY TESTED HER 3 MONTHS WENT BY WITHOUT A WORD.  BEING A NEW MOM, I DIDN'T KNEW WHAT TO DO. FINALLY I CALLED AND ASKED WHAT IS GOING ON AND IF THIS IS THE WAY YOU HANDLE THINGS I WILL NEED TO TALK TO THE SUPERINTENTED..  WELL THE NEXT DAY I GOT A CALL WITH THE RESULTS AND WE SET UP A MEETING FOR HER TO START EARLY CHILDHOOD CLASSES.  BY NOW THERE IS ONLY TWO WEEKS OF SCHOOL LEFT.  BOY DID I COMPLAINED, NEEDLESS TO SAY THE CONSOULOR QUIT HIS JOB THE NEXT SCHOOL YEAR.  AND MY DAUGHTER HAS REICEVED EVERY POSSIBLE HELP THE SCHOOL CAN GIVE.  i ALSO STOP IN PERODICALLY AND TALK WITH THE PRINCIPLE, TEACHERS, SPECIAL ED TEACHES.  i CALL, EMAIL, WRITE LETTERS.  sHE IS IN THE 5TH GRADE AND NOW i AM CHECKING INTO HORSE THERAPY.  (COVERED BY INSURANCE<  LOL)