Narcissisum | ADHD Information

Beware of labels if the label won't get you anywhere. Most kids appear Narcissistic sp?, and ADHD kids really are into themselves and what they want. They really don't seem to care what others think, but more what they think? Maybe what is ODD is seen as Narcisstic. My son is definitely ODD, but I know the label won't be helpful, and have made sure the doctor doesn't know it. I'm positive its not in his file and don't want it to be. Will the label haunt him later. Sorry this mom scared to death of labels unless they need it for better services, otherwise I avoid them like the plague.My kid is ADHD and not the least bit narcissistic. He is not "into himself," and he is very empathetic. Sorry I guess what I mean is when they are off meds or coming off meds. my son seems really into to himself in the sense that "It's all about me". My son is empathetic and thoughtful and funny too. I didn't mean to sound that it is a character trait of ADHD. I better stop now I guess my point is to beware of labels. Sometimes people are really quick to label and its not that helpful.Also, it is interesting to note here that ADHD used to be considered a behavioral disorder, along with ODD and CD. It's only been in recent years that ADHD was separated from the others. My personal opinion is that some children being diagnosed with ADHD actually have ODD, but ADHD is a "kinder" diagnosis. And I AM ALL FOR THE KINDER DIAGNOSIS. Like Sue239, I try to avoid labels, and, unfortunately, ODD can be a bad label. It shouldn't be. In a perfect world, it wouldn't be. It should be a label that requires particular interventions, and schools and drs do these interventions without severe judgement, but I have not found that to be true. Again, this is just my opinion.Thanks, I'm a member of that forum, too. Most of them aren't in agreement with the therapist at all. He's too young. Maybe there's something I can do to prevent the train wreck before it happens.The trouble alot of seem to have I notice here is the kids are different for us then at school. What is the deal with that? I think it's 2 reasons they are on a routine and they are not really one on one with the child. Just curious, did the doctor want to diagnose him with this or just mention it, kind of off hand? I have had a foster child who exhibited the behavior of a personality disorder, and she, like your son, was too young to be diagnosed with it. Her social worker and I discussed it, but we were doing so casually. Neither of us thought she should literally be diagnosed with it or would have let her be. I wonder, did the doctor say something like, "This is like narcissistic personality disorder," or did s/he say, "I believe your child has narcissistic personality disorder"? I ask this because it is curious when a child seems to have a disorder that is engrained in his/her personality and no modifications work. The child is who s/he is and that's that. No, Wife says adhd can't be all of it. He hits her when she gives him directions at times. He is the worst for her. She yet is the hardest on him. She knows what this is like cause life has always been hard for her. She just wants him to learn life is what it is and you have to deal with it. He will use his issues as a problem if he's aloud to. She just deals with him like any kid. She does though give him some time to get it done with a timer. This helps he loves games. My son is nine, almost ten. He's had a dx of severe ADHD/ODD for four years. I keep reading all the bipolar stuff and he just plain does NOT fit the important criteria...no extremes on either end. SO, I've about given up considering that as a dx. The therapist is concerned that absolutely none of the behavior mods have worked and he's been in therapy for five years (not all 5 with this doc.). I'm so worn out, but I wouldn't wish his care on my worst enemy. A babysitter would run for her life and we have no family and ds has run off all my friends. Looks like he stuck with us!

I do not believe a nine-year-old child can be diagnosed with a personality disorder, which is what narcissistic personality disorder is. These disorders are reserved for adolescence and adulthood. It seems to me that what you are dealing with is severe ODD, which may be escalating to conduct disorder. Now, that dx could be changed as he becomes an adolescent, but I would be cautious of dx a child with a personality disorder. Have you checked out websites for ODD and CD and compared notes with parents? psm0904, a forum member, once listed a website for these. Maybe, she can help.

Hey, I'm back. The website is conductdisorders.com. Good luck![QUOTE=stepmom2maddy]

Don't feel like a failure. Your son is an individual, and you really can't assert your will over him. You can't control his every move. If your son has a disorder that prevents this--it most certainly isn't failing. I am certain you are doing everything you can possibly imagine to help your son. You should be able to rest your head at night with that knowledge. You are only a failure if you give up on him.

Does your son feel any remorse for his actions afterward? My SD won't think about anyone else before she acts. However, when all is said and done she is remorseful for hurting someone else.

I am not sure if this would help, but personally, I would make it awful hard on him for not changing. Life as he knows it would end. All perks would be gone. Life would be very difficult, if he wants to keep it up. But like I said--I don't know if this would help with a personality disorder.

I feel for you. I hope you find some answers soon. Good luck!

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I agree with you, stepmom2maddy. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I tell people that would come to my office don't be ashamed or embarrassed in asking for help, it's the people that don't ask who have the BIG problems. What kind of treatment do the dr's have for you son? Or have the got that far? Keep us posted. Good luck and we all will be here to support you when ever you need it.

wow, there's a disorder called that? i've heard of it before in a psychology class but i honestly didn't know it was real. do you take medicine for it? how does one go about therpy?

Does your son feel any remorse for his actions afterward? My SD won't think about anyone else before she acts. However, when all is said and done she is remorseful for hurting someone else.

I feel for you. I hope you find some answers soon. Good luck!

stepmom2maddy38509.7936921296

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a DSM IV diagnosis, and it deals with someone being self-centered, self-absorbed, and lacking concern for others. They are out to get what they can get from someone else, with little empathy for the other's emotions or needs. They have a feeling of grandiose importance. It is believed that the underlying reason for this behavior is an intense feeling of inferiority. I never have heard of a child being diagnosed with this. How old is your son? I would think that a disorder of childhood, like oppositional defiance disorder or conduct disorder, that has similar symptoms of narcissism and lack of empathy, would be diagnosed before narcissistic personality disorder would be in a child. That's a new one on me. Since it is a DSM IV diagnosis, you should be able to find a wealth of information on the internet.

I am back, editing this post after referring to old psych books of mine. My books say that personality disorders have an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, so I guess if your son is an adolescent, he can be diagnosed with this.

lillian38509.936099537some people have to learn from poor choices they make on their own. Does anyone know anything about the narcissisum personality disorder? Today the therapist suggested that might be what we're dealing with with our son. I'm totally overwhelmed with all of it!!!

That is a good question. I am curious about that myself. It could explain alot of my SD actions if that were the case with her.

What led the therapist to suggest this? Is your son totally wrapped up in himself?

That was the bottom line, I guess. My son has no feelings for anyone else. He doesn't care who he hurts, or embarrasses, or anything. We've been seeing our family therapist (this new one) every week for several months. A couple of visits ago he said he felt like we were dealing with something pretty deep. Maybe this is it. He said we (parents) have done everything humanly possible to change his poor behavior and there is no change in him at all. HE doesn't want to change, so most of our behavior mods are fruitless. I feel like such a failure.

Something you might look into is sensory integration disorders. My nephew has that. After testing for everything we found out he is under stimulated by most things and it causes his behavior to seem very self centered which it is but it's because he has to exert so much energy just to relate to the world that it's all he can do to maintain his own attention let alone be concerned for others. Something called crossing the midline helps him tremendously to get connections snapping so it's made a huge difference. I don't know that much about it but what I do know has helped me so much in how I deal with him. I'm not trying to control his behavior now. I don't feel bad when he is self absorbed. I am learning ways of interacting with him and exercises that help him want to interact. It really has changed how we all approach him.

Is it possible that your son does feel remorse and is concerned about others but is unable to express it? Or at least unable to express it in a typical or "normal" way.

Children this age are still very ego-centric, coupled with the very human desire to have things his own way and the inability to properly express himself that could look like a personality disorder.