I know just how you feel. I knew I was ADHD when I met my husband. However that does not make things any easier. For the last 10 years I have been trying to explain the whole ADD thing to him. He still does not get it. I am always getting asked why can't I remember little things like change the paper towel roll without passing it by 15 times.
We are now dealing with changing of meds due to pregnancy. I am trying to find one that can be taken during pregnancy because the last time I was pregnant I had to go off my meds for the entire 9 month and during that time my marraige nearly ended due to my ADD symptoms.
"the concept of rebuilding an identity outside of my symptoms,"
Wow, Well put Fallen. That just hit me like a pile driver.
I'm going to have to rebuild an identity outside of my symptoms. Wow...
[QUOTE=GarbagePailKid]When I started adderall, my boyfriend asked:
Why are you taking a pill? You don't have a disability. You just need a little willpower.
[/QUOTE]
He's exactly right. But.. he answered his own question too. That's exactly why you're taking a pill.
[QUOTE=Fallen]Resistance,
- "Dont you think I have a right to be angry?
Of course. And you have the right to be a bitch, too!
"Do you think knowing it's ADD makes it all go away?"
Apparently not.
- "ADD my #$%#^" (a personal favorite of mine)
If only it were that easy!
- "You think some magic pill is going to turn you 'normal'?"
Hope springs eternal.
- "Why do you think you need treatment? it can't be good to mess with your brain"
Go tell that to Mother Nature!
- "Maybe if you could just focus a little more you wouldnt need medication"
Maybe if I take the medication I can focus a little more and maybe then... Nah, never mind.
- "Medication sounds like a really bad idea. You've never needed it before, you can live with out it"
Maybe, but apparently you can't.[/QUOTE]
Just when I find myself feeling lonely I'm reminded of the "dark side" of relationships and am glad all I have to deal with is a little unwanted cat pee now and again. Sure glad I've got next to no libido!
Since I just discovered (and I'm 59) that I'm ADD, I bought a book on Amazon and had it sent to my Mother (for reasons I'm sure all will understand). Her response was far more passive/aggressive (unusual for her but nontheless, effective) than your wife's. She spilled spaghetti sauce all over the book and had to throw it away. I told her she broke it, she pays for it. She felt she was getting off light. However, anytime she starts up with the crap, I've got a ready, "if only you'd read that book rather than eating it for dinner, you might have a chance of understanding!" Of course she won't, but having that one in my hip pocket sure does make me feel good!
It's really amazing the way people around us try to sabotage our growth as human beings--and I don't just mean we AD(H)Ders. I guess they're terrified that if we grow, we'll outgrow them and leave them behind.
You might want to try reassuring your wife. If that doesn't work, you might try what my Father did shortly after my parents were married. It kept my Mother in check for many years thereafter.
She was starting her typical nagging and berating and he picked her up and stuffed her, butt-first, into a garbage can. She couldn't get out and he wouldn't pull her out until she shut up. Hopefully, the reassurance will do the trick!
sachetm38516.786412037I can't remember exactly how I was thinking and what I meant with this question.The suspicion we both had was before I was diagnosed. I have always found myself with troubles that kept me from fitting in or succeeding.