Help for a 3 year old

Hi

I am just new to this but have been very busy on the internet looking for help.

My almost 4 year old daughter has been told by on GP that she has ADHD, now hes thinging it could be ODD because of her manner.  We have been sent to a Pediatrition at the local hospital who sees these manners (in his breif consultation) and the social worker we have been seeing sees it too.  I am run down, sad and fustrated by all of the professional help and wish something can be done to help her.  But because of her age they wont confirm their diagonisis until she is about 6 years old.  Then they will consider medication, at her age they tell me she is too young.

Rebekah is wonderful when shes asleep, thats when she isnt banging her head in her sleep and making a AHAHAH noise during it.  From the moment she wakes up she is defiant, she wants everything her way will not listern to anyone else.  She hits when she is angry, she will hit her sister who is 9 when she want too, even though Caitlin has done nothing and not even looked or talked to her.  The other week she got angry at her other older sister Beeth 11 when she was being silly with her and can at her swinging with a pencil, on the 3rd swing she embedded it into her leg leaving the lead behind.

She has tantrums, time out does not work!  I am sick of the Social Worker telling me have you tried it...

She enjoys getting people angry, this is something we all have noticed.  She loves pushing your buttons!  She is mean to her peers and says awful things to them.  She swears alot and especially when she doesnt get her own way.

She doesnt sit still for long, she never (since she could crawl) sit on your knee for a cuddle.  The only time she has been was when she had a very sever case of chicken pox on her 1st birthday.

She will hurt our cats by lying on them or carry them around upside down even though she knows they dont like it and even though they scratch her.

I have been at the GP since she was 2 and a half totally out of my mind and looking for answers.

Rebekah never has stayed the night at her Grandparents except when I needed an operation (2 nights), they cant put up with her.  People get flustered when shes around because of her behaviour and manner and I find it so sad that my daughter is a girl people dont want around them.

I love her so much and at times I find myself thinking why did I have one more.  I begged for a hysto at 31 because I couldnt handle another child like her, that and woman problems :)

Please please please if anyone has any comment, suggestions, your own diagonosis or help, please reply.

And please excuse any mispelt  words :)

Jo:)