add revealed

Pretty Lost,

I'm really sorry to hear of the negative reaction from your family.  I'm sure that wasn't easy for you.  It seems like the older generation are so closed minded when it comes to depression and especially ADD.  Many don't even beleive ADD is real.

I have only told my mom and two co-workers that I work closely with that I was having a bout with anxiety and depression.  I only told my co-workers because I was concerned that if I should have a negative experience with the meds, they may assume the worst if they noticed a negative behavior change.  I didn't want anyone to think I had a more serious issue like a drug or alcohol problem.  So with them, I was fairly open and they were surprisingly very understanding and supportive.  I felt it was genuine.  It was a good thing that I did tell them, because I did have a negative experience with Effexor XR and had physical as well as emotional withdrawals when weaning myself off.  It took months.

My mom wasn't as understanding.  It was like she was uncomfortable and didn't really want to be talking about it.  I, on the other hand, wanted to tell her everything.  Still, it seemed that she had the "they always blame the mother..." fear.  My new wife being a new doctor of psychology herself, probably didn't help matters either.  I think she may beleive my wife brain washed me into beleiving that I was "mentally ill".  It's really kind of funny to me.

It's like the older generation looks at these problems as a weekness instead of what they truly are... differences in brain function and chemical imbalances.

A year later, when I told my mom I realized I had ADD, I was even more excited to talk about it.  To me, it answered so many questions about why I was the way I was.  She, however, was very skeptical.  Later I forwarded her a link to a site that listed many ADD symtoms.  I also listed in the email, the items in that list that matched my personality, shortcomings and strengths.  I think it was then when her eyes opened as she realized that many items in that list not only described me, but also her ex-husbnad, my father.  We later talked more about it, and I shared that I thought that one of my brothers and one sister may also have ADD characteristics.

I never told my co-workers I had ADD or any other family member that I had any of the above.  It wouldn't be wise for me to mention ADD at the workplace.  As for my family, I think my mom told everyone, because whenever one of my brothers or sisters call, they always have an unusal concerned tone when they ask "How are you doing..." like I may at any time break down in tears or forget who they were.  I always say, "I'm doing really good!"  It's like they don't understand that just because I'm taking psychotropic medications, it doesn't mean, I hear voices or see dead people.

-JA

I told my mother and my boyfriend.  My mother freaked out, and said I was just self medicating.  I tried to explain to her that I was tired of trying to control it all the time, spending my whole day doble checking myself to be sure I didn't blurt any rude remarks, or freak out when someone tried to stop my train of thought, or make me move backwards.

I also told my boyfriend.  He was actually the reason I finally decided to seek professional treatment, because of what it was doing to our relationship.  I thought, I'm ruining a great relationship, and he loves me, he'll understand.  Turns out, not the case.  He's never experienced this type of thing in his family, and when we fight, he claims it's a weakness and I should just get over it.  Then he points out that it didn't used to be an issue with us.  I tried to explain, that's because I was constantly controlling myself, which is tiring.  All day, every day.  And it gets harder, the longer your with someone, to control your natural inclinations.

Anyway, not to suggest for anyone else, but in the end, I wish I had kept it to myself.  I did in the past, corrected for it with self reflection, and that probably would have worked this time as well.....in retrospect.

Funny thing, I told my sisters, and they were both like, yeah, we know!   Easy to see who knows me best then......

I haven't been officially diagnosed yet but my son has ADHD.  I believe I have ADD Inattentive type.  I have already told co-workers that I think I may have it and some family members.  I will definetely tell them all when I have a diagnosis.

My personal opinion is that this secretive behavior regarding this disorder is what perpetuates the reaction of some who don't understand it.  I have found that the people who have the worst reactions are 2 different types.  People who just need to be educated and the type of people who just don't get it and don't want to get it.  This last type don't want to believe that something like ADHD exists and they certainly don't want to believe that someone close to them has it.  I've found with these people there is nothing that is going to get them to accept it so I just don't let them get to me.  I do respect the rights for each person to make the choice to reveal or not reveal.  I just believe a little more open communication on the subject by those of us that have it would go a long way in eliminating or at least reducing the negative reactions that are so prelavent. 

I think it will be funny when I tell my parents what I think is gong on.  I am sure that it will almost make my mom's head spin.  She was sure that I was just parenting my adhd daughter improperly, etc....

I think it will be the test of her "faith" to see if she can deal with 2 in her family that are adhd.

Oh yeah! I also hesitate. I did mention it to my 70 year old mother trying to explain why I was like I am. It didn't really go well (but things never do with my mom) Inside; I am jumping up and down because this might just get fixed (And that would mean I am not all the negative things that some say I am)

My wife is also very glad that maybe I can get to the whole root of my bitterness toward life in general.

I've tried telling my parents before. They didn't take it well, I went to visit my dad and he threw me out of his house and refused to believe that his son has a long term problem. "I wish you'd just forget about all of this depression nonsense and act normal!". When I went to see my mum she told me to shut up and ignored the whole thing. She was p****d because I'd brought her this stress. We don't mention adhd anymore in my family.

Hi.  Just wanted to comment that I'm not sure what others think, either.  I have shared it with a handful of other adults, and I'm not sure if it has any meaning for them except an image of children who can't sit still or run around screaming.

I feel like we're still in the dawn of awareness of ADD in adults (though it's been ten years).  I also think some people banter it around as with other disorders.  Like when someone says "are you going to excercise again?  You're so obsessive-compulsive", or when someone says "Boy that person is so full of energy, they're really manic."  Likewise, I've heard people say "Oh, I can't remember where I put that... I'm so ADD."

Ironically, some of these people may be right, but since it gets tossed around so much without a diagnosis, I wonder if people make any distinction between someone saying "I'm so forgetful sometimes" and "I have ADD".

I attend a support group for people with relatives who are alcoholics, and sometimes I might share a story in which I think it is appropriate to mention my ADD.  Indefinitely, people come up to me after the meeting and say, "I know what you mean.  I think I have ADD a little too".

I guess the fact that many speculate they have ADD, while fewer seem to actually go through a process that leads to diagnosis, seems like it might diminish the significance of the disorder in many people's eyes.

As far as sharing, I try to use my best judgement, and generally only share with those who seem open to learning something.