Being a friend/Anger | ADHD Information

I don't have any friends close to where I live. I have a hard time with relationships with peers and family. I can introduce myself in public but I can ramble alot of change from one subject to another. I have friends from in the state that I live just different areas so we talk online alot. I've even met them in person. They're nice and I can relate to them alot. In my childhood, I have noticed that with friends, I have been known to be a people pleaser. Doing things like, being too generous, trying to hide my anger from people I really like. But when I do get angry, I feel happy instead and say "that's ok" and let it slide depending on the person I'm talking to. However, I easily show my anger to my mom because I live with her, and I even take my anger on some else I have on her, especially my dad. I'm afraid to get angry with my dad, because to him I'm his little princess. He has also changed over the years, and his attitude can be really jerkish at times.  My mom still relys on him, when he's remarried and moved on, he doesn't want anything to do with my mom. Sorry I'm rambling on about this, but I feel comfortable saying alot of things here, I hope it's okay.

That's something I needed to hear today, thank you. I understand the anger part completely. When anger fills me, instead of wanting to hit something, I want to hit something. Its been walls, floors, tiki torches this past weekend. I started seeing my counselor after one night I got in an arguement with my wife, hit the floor until I broke a finger, and then went downstairs and kicked the dining room table. I have never been able to say 'that's okay' and let it go. Sometimes I turn to alcohol, and that helps me forget about things. Other time it just makes the emotions that I have worse, it's a hit of miss when I drink.

I said this in my post earlier, this is my first day on here. I have for a longest time been looking for people to talk with to just be friends, people with similar interests. Everyone in here is very nice, very non-judgemental. I need that.