Hi,
I'm new here and I want to tell you of my grandson Nicholas who lives with me. He is 9 and was tested and DX for ADHD about 1 1/2 years ago. His behaviour was typical and he was more often in the principals office than not. In the second grade he was even suspended for 3 days and had to go to an alternative school because of bad behaviour in school. The Dr ( Pedi) prescribed Ritalin but we opted not to give it to him due to the dangers involved with that particular drug. His Psychiatrist however gave us a non-stimulant drug prescription for Strattera. It really helped him finish his second grade. Nicholas is a straight A student, even with ADHD. It's just the behaviour that did him in. During about half of his third grade Nicholas wanted to be off the drug. He said he would try very hard to stay focused without Strattera. We talked to his Doctor who asked him a zillion questions and then decided to try to go without drugs just to see how things would go. If there would be falling grades or behaviour problems he would be put back on Strattera. Nicholas agreed to try it and he understood that he would be put back on the medication if things would deteriorate. All this time he would see his Doctor to monitor the progress. Well, all I can say is that Nicholas is starting 4th grade next month, his final report card had straight A's again, nothing on the report card like 'has to work on behaviour', no 'clips' at all, no trips to the principal's office and his teacher said he doing very well and tries very hard to stay focused and out of trouble. His teacher and we are very proud of him. Her own son has ADHD and per her he cannot be without medication. She has tried it with her son and his grades fell dramatically. Shows you it's all on an individual basis.
Sure, Nicholas is a handfull and a challenge because he is so smart and his mind just keeps going even while he is sleeping. He can surely wear you out.He is ALL boy to be sure...:-) But nothing compares to the satisfaction that this little boy is so determined to make it on his own without being medicated. It was his idea to go without Strattera, not ours. I might want to add that Nick was and is always a happy child and has no mood problems or temper tantrums. He wakes up happy, ready to tackle a new day. He was like that from the day he was born.
Nicholas is a black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do, he has been in it since he was 4 or 5 years old, basically to help him with focus and discipline. Perhaps that is one of the reasons he is doing so well now without drugs. In fact his Doctors highly recommend martial arts for children who have ADHD. I myself have seen quite a few kids who went from wild and totally unfocused to focused, disciplined and self-assured after a few month of martial arts. There you HAVE to pay attention and STAY focused, no excuses. The kids do learn that and really try to do better. Of course good instructers is a must and I would suggest to go and visit several schools first to see how the kids are taught there. Not all Martial art schools are the same as far as teaching children goes. The MA school Nick goes to specialize in martial arts for children and the main instructers have a children education background.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know not all is hopeless when a child has ADHD. I view it as a gift and Nicholas is the most wonderful little boy anyone can imagine, ADHD or not.
Nick's Grandma in Tyler, Texas
My son likes to help out when we go grocery shopping. He will help the employees put items on the shelves and take the boxes to the front of the store. I think he is getting rid of some of his extra energy. He really enjoys helping and I am proud of him for doing it.
Omi4nick,
Isn't your grandson wonderful?!?!
I'm one who's not opposed to medication--yet I feel very strongly that focusing on medication alone deters from the heart of the resolve and problem.
Your grandson, so young-- pursues doing the doing without medication. My son chooses no medication as well (and is much older). Your grandson is a "success story"-- so is my son.
Your grandchild IS a gift- ADHD is NOT a four letter word. There are success stories out there a hundred fold or more...
I would personally thank you for your post. I'm not alone in seeing that that ADHD doesn't mean a sentence for failure or doom-- medication or not.... :)
Sensory,
I'm not sure what you'd rate as a "success" story-- but I'll offer this:
My son was diagnosed with ADHD at age 11; he is now 23 years old.
He struggles with organization, remembering common and/or important things; normal sleep patterns- and relationships (co-worker, dating, social mingling). But he's forging a life, recovering from hard knocks and pursuing a life of his own.
He was a father of two children by age 18 (yes, TWO children by age 18). At age 19 he was experiencing serious problems with employment (he hadn't finished High School), and didn't maintain employment for more than a few months. AND the mother of his children moved out of state (more than 1200 miles away) with his children.
He hadn't married the mother; and in this area fathers were predominantly recognized by courts as the provider of child support and not much more-- even when married and much older than he.
He went to court, in spite of the odds, to secure his position as father (and he wouldn't settle for part-time status). While I confess, my husband and I provided the financial means for this pursuit-- he completely turned his life around for his children.
He won primary placement reccommendation by the court (after a year's worth of court actions and a three-day trial); he finished high school, and secured employment. And even though his ADHD and his "need" for medication was attacked and focused on in the meanwhile-- he overcame the odds.
Ultimately, he agreed to shared placement with the mother (since he felt it best his children have both parents active in their lives). And since then (the last year or so) has continued to improve himself best he's able. He's maintained employment for over a year with a single employer-- and is entering into an apprenticeship program for the carpenter trade. He maintains a household for himself and children, and is actively involved with his children's school and daycare.
He is a caring, funloving Daddy-- and a steadfast, my-children-come-first hands-on father-- at age 23.
I couldn't be more proud. And while my heart still breaks often in witnessing the specific hardships and struggles he faces because of having ADHD-- and I still often want to shake him or bang his head against the nearest wall when I'm frustrated by his ADHD-based behaviors and/or tendencies-- he's on his own, after all; and doing ultimately what needs to be done.
I consider him a "success story". And any time I start to get caught up in a "but what about this", or "what happens if", or "there he goes AGAIN, what next'"-- I need but five minutes or less seeing him with my grandchildren-- and I smile with a "way-to-go, you're-doing-all-right" sigh.
ADHD is real-- and because of the challenges and frustrations for all who are experiencing it, we need forums like this to vent- A LOT. But it doesn't overshadow or supercede every aspect of being human. Success is out there for ADHD as with anyone... for the pursuit and taking.
Sorry this post is so long...and I hope it doesn't disappoint your request.
Mattie
That is just great. I wish your son every success for now and for the future.
Sensory,
Thank you!
And I believe you will have your own success story to post in time...
I'd like to be able to post on this thread in say 5 years time and have good news stick it I'll start a new thread in five years after I've accomplished something to rant about heheI have a really great one I have ADHD and am a straight A student and am enrolled in Tampa Bay Technical High where I am attending the medical academy and learning to become a doctor.That is just great Ash. Could you pls tell us the things you did to get to this point. I mean how did you work around things?
Thanks and congrats!!!