Shopping :(

i just think all children are different.

And i have rules which i try and not break like everyone else but all i do is take one day at a time and take it from there.

thans for your comments and good luck with shopping...

My child heard and learned the word "No" very early on.  When we go to the store he hears it frequenlty and consistently.  It does not stop him from asking.  He just does not have that "stop" in place.  It's the ADD .. but I dont' feel guilty and I just continue to tell him "no".  Sometimes after he asks he looks at me and says "oops sorry mom, I forgot."  I dont' punish him for asking (even thought it drives me nuts) because he's not doing it on purpose.  But I don't encourage it either.   I dont' feel guilty .. I would feel guilty if I raised a spoiled brat.

I have been through the game store scenario as well.  One time was all that it took.  I have learned to nip in the bud.  We plan before we leave.  I tell him that he can choose one thing, that he has ten minutes and that's it.  If he hasn't found something by then we will leave and he can think about it.  Then, once he has had a chance to think about it, we will go back and he can get it.  I'm not afraid to "ruin" his fun event if he doens't play by the rules.  Again.  I do not want to raise a spoiled brat. 

Our children have to learn how to live in this world adhd or no adhd .. teaching them right away that there are rules and consequences is the best thing that you can do for them.  You can't send them off into the world not having taught them that they can't always have everything that they want.  Dont' feel guilty for being a good parent.  Quite honestly my son would have gone home without a game in the circumstances that you described above.  You are more tolerant than I am.

Maybe you are just kinder than me.  I dont' know.  My little guy has no concept of money either and he cant' choose either .. and I have to help him too.  But I have no problem making shopping rules and sticking to them.  maybe the difference is age?  Matt will be 9 next month so he may grasp the discipline rules part better.  I can tell you that I would never have tolerated letting him stand there like that for as long as you did and now he doesn't do it.  He tries .. but he gives up right away because he knows what will happen.

However, I also know, because people on here are kind enough to remind me, that not all children respond to discipline.  They are all wired differently.  So what works for me may not work for you.  In which case all you can do is "use your patience" and come here for support

Oh my GOSH, do I know what that's like!!!!  I've had virtually the exact same scenerio take place in a game store before.  It's TERRIBLE!  I absolutely hate taking my kids in a store with me and avoid it at all costs.  Oh!!!!!  Would you believe this???? My little one JUST THIS SECOND asked me, "Hey, Mom, can we go to a store in a little while?"  He's begging me now, "Can you just think about it?"  Oh, please!!!!!   Anyway, my older son's most frequently spoken words are, "Can you just give me an advance on my allowance?"  Ha!  Some things he pleads for would have me taking allowance away for months.  Even a trip to the grocery store turns into a beg-fest.  Can we have this candy?  Cookies?  Cereal? Juice?  Please, Please, Please.......It goes on and on and on.  As a result, I go to the grocery store at night now.  And FORGET about ever taking my kids to WalMart again.  The last time we went there together, I had to say no to movies, games, toys, music.........I felt physically tired from it all.

My younger one is now asking me again to take him to a store......

My son does unerstand the word NO because we do have another child who does not have ADHD,

Jay problem is he can not mind his mind up and it is hard for him to choose, I do not stand for any of his Cramp and i am a very sriked person but i am also very far.

When he has been so good and has done what i have asked him and has also been good at school i give him pocket money for being good which works for us.

The only thing Jay doesnt understand is the falue of money, £20 could be 1p or 1000.00 he just cant grasp that.

So when it comes to having to pick a game where he has the money or not i havw to help him, but not only that he can made choose either.

I give my kids £20 pocket money every month at the end of the month if they are good and help keep there bedrooms clean.

Jay does try his hardest but we know when he has tried and and when he hasnt.

Yesturday was poicket money day and what a night mare!

We went to do are shopping and at the shop we where at he didnt see anything he wanted so we said we would take him to another shop where there is games he does like.

Now when we got there within mintues he saw 2 games but he did not have the money for 2 he only had the amount for 1.

Well he couldnt make up his mind, i spoke to him and told him he could come back next pocket money time and buy another game then, well that wasnt what he wanted to hear, he asked me for more money and i said NO because i have to draw a line somewhere and told him i do not have the money just to give away like that and it would be far on his  sister and then i would have to give her.

So he stood there for 40 mintues and still couldnt make his mind up on which game he wanted, so his dad said he has to make his mind up or he will get nothing, it got to the stage we went out to the car leaving my son in the shop, i thought this way he would make his mind up as we left the shop but NO, i then had to go back in after his, still standing in the same place, and said pick one or we will leave with nothing, by this time i was getting pi**** Off.

He picked one but left with a face like hell, and he never spoke at all on the way home, once he clamed down i told him yet again that he can not do this is shops because he needs to understand that money does not grow on trees and he had his pocket money and if he wanted the other game he should save up until next time or buy the other game just now and buy the other later.

he just could not understand that he cant get more money.

he even said he would pay me back next month when he gets his pocket money but i wasnt giving in!

Now i felt the bad mother but like i said i have to draw a line some where.