failed | ADHD Information

[QUOTE=FDOA]I am lost. I have ADD. I am about to lose my job of 4 years, poor performance. It hurts so much. I feel I have failed my family. It wouldn't hurt so bad if I didn't try so hard. The harder I try the worse it gets. The more pressure and "performance evaluations" I get the worse I become. I am at work but getting nothing done. I hate this, it hurts so much. I can't stop crying, feeling humilated and embarresed. What do I do? How do I cope? [/QUOTE]

FDOA!!! Tell your employer IMMEDIATELY and then go seek professional help from a Psychiatrist! About 3 months ago I was in the same boat as you, FDOA. The best thing to do is tell your boss about how you have Adult ADD and that you are going to seek some professional help from a Psychiatrist (who can prescribe meds). Read everything you can get your hands on about Adult ADD and you will see that you are not a freak or alone. Go to your library and get the books if possible. Be sure to tell your boss ASAP. Trust me, if you work for someone with a brain and a heart, they will listen and understand. Once I found out I had Adult ADD and told my co-workers then things really started to turn around. Also, the Adderall XR that I was prescribed helped out more then you will ever know. DON'T HESITATE, DO IT NOW! You WILL not regret it. Don't live in pain and humilation any longer! Once you know why you do the things you do then you're life will make a complete 180 degree turn around. I promise!
[QUOTE=Fallen]

Urmmm. Schizophrenics display some of the symptoms you seem to be displaying in this thread.

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God what a weak ass flame, take your meds and try again. I don't care how you get by in life, feeding off the government tit, playing the sympathy card or whatever. Just don't lump me into it because I'm gonna work my way through life on my own no matter what it takes, or how many times I have to repeat a class. It's all this whining that has made it impossible to let people know you have a problem. Especially in collage, admit to your professors you have add and watch your life end.

shinsetu_hito38539.3645023148 [QUOTE=shinsetu_hito]

If you follow the paper trail back far enough you will find that it falls under the heading of "mental retardation. So in order to qualify you have to be pegged mentally handicapped the rest of your life, After you made that first step you can't take it back, Now if you are at the point of autism then you should,
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Please show some links regarding that information and save me an hour with Google. I'm interested to see where that's written down.

[QUOTE=shinsetu_hito]

I know some mentally retarded people and I'm nothing like them. You all know there is war going on, it doesn't come here often but it does come around,

[/QUOTE]

Urmmm. Schizophrenics display some of the symptoms you seem to be displaying in this thread.
[QUOTE=shinsetu_hito] PS I'd rather starve then face that humiliation, people in wheel-chairs are disabled. I DON'T HAVE A F* DISABILITY and if one more well-meaning do gooder tries to make me out to be retarded I'll scream.

[/QUOTE]

Scream all you like, AD(H)D has a sufficiently negative impact on a person's ability to function within society's norms that it is (and should be) classed as a disability, and as such is covered by disability legislation (in the more enlightened countries at least).

And while I think, what the Hell is wrong with people in wheelchairs? What is there about people with mobility problems that you believe to be humiliating?

In society most people don't acknowledge ADD/ADHD as a disability. You have to have a severe case before they acknowledge it in schools. I think I would get fired if I told my job I would need special accommodations because of my ADHD. [QUOTE=shinsetu_hito] PS I'd rather starve then face that humiliation, people in wheel-chairs are disabled. I DON'T HAVE A F* DISABILITY and if one more well-meaning do gooder tries to make me out to be retarded I'll scream.[/QUOTE]

Urm......ignoring what you said about wheelchairs.

I spent a long time struggling with whether or not to tell my employer that I had ADD. In the end it's on a job by job basis. If I want to keep my job I tell my employer. Why? because I have severe ADD that impacts my ability to function on a day to day level.

Was this difficult? absolutely. What did I gain? well, it means that my boss is aware of my issues and is more likely to listen when I make suggestions that I think will boost my performance. I'm also protected to some extent from various forms of discrimination. I dont have to sneak out to see specialists, hide the fact that I take medication, or worry about being found out (no more sense of getting that tap on the shoulder).

My boss discovered that he didnt have to pay out any additional money, and that my requirements are very modest, just a little out of the ordinary for most workplaces. Because of this I am able to perform at a level I have never been able to maintain at previous roles.

My boss doesnt treat me like i'm retarded or disabled - I build, secure and maintain high performance computer networks and am considered one of the best at what I do (according to the number of headhunter calls I recieve), the only thing that changed after I made my ADD official was that I felt a lot of pressure off me. As someone with a lot of experience with wheelchairs I would notice do-gooders, pity looks, and patronizing behavior from 1000 yards.

My advice would be: talk to your supervisor or HR and explain things. I went to mine after I decided to get a treatment plan - it doesnt really seem fair to say 'hey, i'm broken and unwilling to actually do anything about it', as far as I'm concerned.

I know some mentally retarded people and I'm nothing like them. You all know there is war going on, it doesn't come here often but it does come around,

[QUOTE=shinsetu_hito]

You all know there is war going on, it doesn't come here often but it does come around,[/QUOTE]

What are you talking about?

I recently left my job of 2 1/2 years rather than subject myself to termination. My performance plummeted dramatically. In October I was told by my shrink I had severe ADHD, and the "severe" portion was most likely brought on by the stress of my divorce after 17 years with my ex. I always new I was a little wacked, but always excelled in my 15 year real estate career- until recently. I never formerly told my employers about the ADHD because I didn't think I had rights. I think you should review your options.

I've attached this article I received from About.com - perhaps it can offer a basis for you to consider your options.

Assuming that overall you are a good employee [positive outlook, team player, abide by company rules , blah blah blah], you may want to fight to keep your position; informing them of your condition & treatment plans, and would like to discuss a fresh start. If they don't know there is a problem, then they can't know to make necessary/reasonable adjustments. Good luck.

The American's With Disabilities Act
From Eileen Bailey,
ABOUT.COM
Your Guide to Attention Deficit Disorder.
Stay up to date!

Does ADD qualify an employee for special accommodations?
The American's With Disabilities Act prohibits private employers (with more than 15 employees) from discriminating against individuals with disabilities in relation to application procedures, hiring, firing, job training, promotion and advancement, and conditions and privileges of employment.

ADD qualifies as a disability under this Act, if it can be shown that you are substantially impaired by ADD. To qualify you must be able to perform the job with reasonable accommodations. Employers are required to make accommodations, as long as those accommodations would not cause undue hardship on the company. Undue hardship would be if accommodations caused significant difficulty or expense to the company.

In addition, companies are not expected to lower quality or production in order to make accommodations. Companies are also not expected to supply personal items, such as glasses or hearing aids to an employee.

Many adults with ADD choose not to ask for special accommodations in the workplace because they do not want to disclose their ADD. They fear that letting their superiors know about their ADD will cause discrimination against them, or they may feel special accommodations might set them apart from their co-workers and create resentment.

Talking with your boss, with a pro-active approach will normally work the best. Rather than going to your boss with the attitude the company owes you these accommodations, you can approach with suggestions that might work for you. For example, if you consistently miss information in meetings, you might approach your boss with the suggestion that you are allowed to tape record meetings in order to review the information later, if needed.

By taking the stress off your disability and restructuring your request to show how the accommodation can help the office in general or in your specific job, you may be able to receive accommodations you need to complete your job more efficiently.

In addition, there may be things that you can institute yourself, without having to consult your boss. For example, you may start using a day planner, PDA or program the alarms on your computer to alert you to meeting times or deadlines. You may be able to stay a little later each evening or come in a few minutes early to accomplish goals without the usual office distractions.

By working to find solutions yourself, even if you ask for additional accommodations, you will be showing your employer that you are accepting responsibility for your position and are willing to do what is necessary to get the job done.

Many adults with ADD choose not to ask for special accommodations in the workplace because they do not want to disclose their ADD. They fear that letting their superiors know about their ADD will cause discrimination against them, or they may feel special accommodations might set them apart from their co-workers and create resentment.

The American's With Disabilities ActI was in the same boat, got some beta blockers and things turned around for me. If you are using stims it may be that your body is flooded with adrenaline, this makes everything difficult. PS I'd rather starve then face that humiliation, people in wheel-chairs are disabled. I DON'T HAVE A F* DISABILITY and if one more well-meaning do gooder tries to make me out to be retarded I'll scream.shinsetu_hito38539.0955902778I am lost. I have ADD. I am about to lose my job of 4 years, poor performance. It hurts so much. I feel I have failed my family. It wouldn't hurt so bad if I didn't try so hard. The harder I try the worse it gets. The more pressure and "performance evaluations" I get the worse I become. I am at work but getting nothing done. I hate this, it hurts so much. I can't stop crying, feeling humilated and embarresed. What do I do? How do I cope?

I wish I knew the answer to that.

I guess after you've been fired a dozen or so times you become hardened to it somewhat, but it's still a major pain. The reason is ADD, not you - remember that. you have a neurological disability which makes it extremely difficult for you to perform at work in the way that is expected of a non-ADDer.

The big problem at the moment is that the rest of the world seems to think we are this way at work through choice - and that, to me, is the real pain. Check out the earlier thread 'Canned Again' for more thoughts on our work problems.

Cheer up - it's only work anyway...

[QUOTE=shinsetu_hito]

God what a weak ass flame, take your meds and try again.

[/QUOTE]

Shinsetu, that actually that wasn't a flame - you'll know one when you see one from me, I promise you. Good natured ribbing perhaps? In deference to your youth I'll let my interaction with you end here.

FDOA, letting your employer know may be the best option you have. Im not sure how much reading you've done in regards to your ADD, but if you can talk to your employers and work with them to create a better environment for you it might help. If you can't think of anything that will help then perhaps you're not in the best place to use your talents. I say that as a person who has spent the last decade creating roles that suited my talents. My recent ADD issues have been due to career advancement requiring skills that run contrary to my ADD-ness.

[QUOTE=Mark Goode]

The big problem at the moment is that the rest of the world seems to think we are this way at work through choice - and that, to me, is the real pain.

[/QUOTE]

Are you kidding? People really think that? They think we decide to be mentally spastic?

Now that I have more information about my rights, I plan to tell my next employer. But my therapist & I have to work on my blog before I blab. I don't want them to think I am using it as an excuse. [QUOTE=whirly_Head]

[QUOTE=Mark Goode]

The big problem at the moment is that the rest of the world seems to think we are this way at work through choice - and that, to me, is the real pain.

[/QUOTE]

Are you kidding? People really think that? They think we decide to be mentally spastic?

[/QUOTE]

I was bought up to believe I was undisciplined and mentally lazy.
[QUOTE=whirly_Head]

[QUOTE=Mark Goode]

The big problem at the moment is that the rest of the world seems to think we are this way at work through choice - and that, to me, is the real pain.

[/QUOTE] Are you kidding? People really think that? They think we decide to be mentally spastic?[/QUOTE]

Interesting phrase, and not one I used - nor is it one I would use. Note the context of the thread, and the preceding line of my post that you decided to omit, and you will see I was refering to poor performance at work.

Do you really think you're 'mentally spastic' then?

Mark Goode38539.4561111111OK, try using a planner for one thing. Set up the things you have to do in a day at work on a checklist and check them off as they get done. The trouble is inconsistency. We can hold to something for awhile but then we have a tendency to drift off. It would help if you had a mentor or a coworker that can help you keep on track.

Thanks for the many great, supportive responses.

Here is my question: Today, I was given what is called a corrective action plan. Great concept, pinpoint what the major problems in my job performance are and come up with a solution. Here is an example of what I have: Problem, not returning phone calls...Action, return phone calls and emails within 24 to 48 hours. Well, gee, great concept. I know what I should be doing and if I had the answer to get it done won't I already be doing it?

This corrective action plan is simply what I am not doing and then says do it. I told my employer (who is now aware I have ADD) this is digging my own grave. I feel like this is setting me up to fail.

Any suggestions on how to come up with creative solutions to actually get things done?

FDOA,

Along with a positive plan regarding treatment you may want to start creating new habits. Repetition is the only way I am able to somewhat ensure that something gets done. I use the impetus of getting yelled at to get a little focus and start creating a new habit.

1. Write down what it is you want to do. "Answer emails"

2. if you have a cell phone with a calender or alarm feature: program it! This has been the biggest aid for me recently. Now I immediately put a task or event into my phone. I have dailiy reminders to check my planner, write down my timesheet, call my doctor. Pretty much everything that is going on in my life.

Write EVERYTHING DOWN starting now, while you're all pissed off and can pay attention.

I dont know if you've seen a doctor, but I think telling someone you have ADD and then not getting treatment of any kind is like telling your employer that you're almost blind without corrective lenses and refusing to wear glasses at work. The meds are something that have given my brain a little breathing room while I straighten things out.

Nepenthe, as someone who recently went through neuropsyche testing, and finding that, outside the areas directly effected by ADD, I test extremely high - boredom is a constant concern in most of my life.

Are you sure you're going for the right jobs for your personality type? I dont mean 'are you choosing jobs that match your degree', I mean are they jobs you think will be fun? A job with a ton of noise would do me no good at all.

I also need some suggestions for surviving the working world. I was diagnosed a few years ago and have been taking medication since (first Ritalin, then Concerta). I also have a learning disability. I managed to get my BA with a GPA of 4.0, then I got an MS with a GPA of 3.95. I was very proud of myself. Then I moved into the working world. Now I'm starting my third job in 18 months! I didn't get fired, in fact my bosses were all shocked when I quit. But I didn't tell them how stressed I felt. The work wasn't difficult, there were just too many details, too many tedious tasks, too many ringing phones, and I too quickly became bored. Bored out of my mind!! Yet, I'm a very hard worker, and I'm now extremely frustrated because I'm apparently not able to use my strengths. This is going to sound really vain and big headed, but I hurt because my peers with lesser abilities seemed to be able to do twice the amount of work that I could. Incidentally, I also annoyed my neighbors because after a day at work, I had to come home and play my music very loud to vent " born to be wild" by Steppenwolf always works, as well as "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol. Any suggestions for surviving my third job? Please?Thanks Fallen! And good luck FDOA! Here are some more tips; I hope they help! In addition to writing everything down, I found it helpful to print certain emails and then use the paper copy as a reminder. Also, I met my response metrics by responding immediately to emails saying something like "thanks for your email, I am checking into this and will get back to you with a response by - - -," and then I made a follow-up notation in my planner. For your phone calls, have you thought of using a phone log (you can buy them in an office supply store). I used one that was the size of an exercise book and kept it by my phone all the time. One side was for incoming calls and the other for outgoing calls. I logged every single call; incoming and outgoing. I also found this log very helpful whenever I needed a CYA. Let us know how things go! &nb sp; As for me, I'm not sure I know what job would suit my personality type. I think I got caught up in trying to be "normal". I thought I could take my medication and not need any further help and that's obviously not the case. Does anyone out there know of someone in the Los Angeles area who can help me figure out who in the heck I am now that I've been diagnosed and medicated (my original doctor is in another state?) Again Thanks Fallen, and Good Luck FDOA!!