how do u cope with teachers? | ADHD Information

addexec-Brilliant idea-I think you should move on that one. I would be willing to buy several copies myself. The teacher could take it home to watch if he/she didn't have time during the day. I am dead serious.jordansmom have you asked his doctor for help? It sounds like your son is on a regular med. Maybe he would benefit from a slow release form. My son takes slow release during the school year.Not only for teachers to watch a video but other kids as well to learn not everyone is the same and that it is a disability to gain their understanding as well. It is worth a shot.I've learned the hard way that some teachers will never be appropriate for
my
son. If you work with a teacher who doesn't meet you half-way, doesn't
unerstand ADHD or dislikes your child, cut bait and move your child.

My son had two teachers last semester who basically viewed ADHD as
willful
disobedience instead of a disability. They couldn't handle him and sent
him
to the office daily. As a last resort we moved him to two new teachers
and
we never heard a word of complaint from them and his grades turned
around
dramatically. We have to remember that we are the customer when it
comes
to public schools. They are mandated to fulfill certain obligations and
ya gotta hold their feet to the fire as a last resort. Sometimes we
have to stop apologizing for our kids' behavior, stop being intimidated
and
put the ball in their court. keelime38540.3789814815

[QUOTE=jordansmom]I find my son in the principals office all the time... and kids constantly pick on him... and there is nothing wrong with him except the adhd.... i mean he is a kid... i find myself being bitter against ppl that dont understand.. how or what is a good way to approach teachers / kids.... i just want him to fit in... sorry i am full of questions....... lol thanks[/QUOTE]

Tough issue. I think someone would make a LOT of money and serve a great purpose producing a video specifically for parents to share with techers about ADD and AD/HD.

Maybe if more teachers saw qualified physicians talk about the reality, or saw testimonials from other teachers or parents that more might sink in and they might see the child who really has this is a good kid, and maybe a kid with exceptional potential, if the right teacher takes an interest.

I think most good teachers deep down want to be that "special teacher" who makes a difference to someone.

I know I didn't really answer your question much, but Good luck. I feel for you. I've been the bad seed myself as a kid, and I've had the teacher conferences where my son is "not focusing, etc etc." and had the teacher sort of infer that the parenting is where the unstructured behavior is coming from.

I find my son in the principals office all the time... and kids constantly pick on him... and there is nothing wrong with him except the adhd.... i mean he is a kid... i find myself being bitter against ppl that dont understand.. how or what is a good way to approach teachers / kids.... i just want him to fit in... sorry i am full of questions....... lol thankswow yes, but they claim it dont work all day.. and i cant raise his dose nor do i want to.... i dont know........we have tried all the meds i think.... i give him some before school and they give it to him at lunch and by 230 is when we have problem... i had to take him off the bus and start picking him up from school...Is your son on meds? I am asking because in Grade 3 my son was off meds and he was in the principal's office constantly. Also he wasn't allowed to go any school trips without me. What types of behaviors alienate him from other kids and get him in trouble at school? Could be more going on than ADHD. No matter what, you should take a stand with the school, but the child may not fit in unless whatever is wrong with him gets under control. High functioning autistic kids are notoriously different, and very poor socially. Maybe have him re-evaluated by a team of experts at a hospital? Kids are mean. They, sadly, pick on the "different" one. They picked on me all the time.

[QUOTE=EastWest]addexec-Brilliant idea-I think you should move on that one. I would be willing to buy several copies myself. The teacher could take it home to watch if he/she didn't have time during the day. I am dead serious.[/QUOTE]

Why Thank you!

I just remember being in school and being in the gifted and talented class with all these well behaved, very studious kids and not being able to verbalize to my teacher that I just don't know why I can't stay focused for a whole day like them.

I loved that teacher too, Mrs. Bryant, and I think she knew I could run on auto pilot and run circles around some of those "Good Kids" who were little mini PHd candidates in their studiosness.

But I could never stay out of trouble.

A video with a few celebrities would be cool. Tell me Robin Williams isn't AD/HD, LOL. I've read that Michael Jordan is too. Many millionaire investors/traders are definitely AD/HD, they just harness the benefits. Einstein was AD/HD. He was just working on a higher plane and people thought he was a flaky waste.

If society and organized institutions didn't do such a good job of crushing a kids confidence, yanking their opportunities and making them believe they are inherently "Bad", then many more children would learn that their ADD can be harnessed to work FOR them rather than against them & possibly be a huge blessing.

Hmmm... somebody could really put together a landmark video if they did it right. As an ADDer...I've had lots of ideas, but never followed through. Maybe this time....

addexec- i think it is time to follow through with them there are many ppl who can bennifit from them... me for one...lol.. and who better to make them than a adder........ makes sence to me............. think about it

As an elementary teacher (special education)and as a mom with an ADHD child, I've been on both sides of the fence. I have a wonderful class of TMD students but when I get frustrated with a child, I ask myself how I would want my own child's teacher to deal with him in that same situation. It helps to get my frustation back in check.

My ADHD son has been very fortunate to have had exceptional teachers in elementary school, but when he went to middle school last year, is was a real shock. The teacher wanted him to be completely independent and organized and that is just something he was not - especially in the beginning of the year. My son did not have to go to the principal's office last year, but I did. After several meetings and numerous long notes to his teacher, who was a great teacher academically but did not understand that ADHD really stands for "Always Disorganized and needs Help Delivering!!," I made an appointment with the principal. I have never had to go to a principal to complain about a teacher before, but I tried numerous times to explain things to his teacher, and when that didn't work, I went up the ladder. I had documentation of my complaints and that one hour visit to the prinicpal's office did wonders. The teacher did a 360 turn in the areas that we were not communicating in and my son had an excellent year - even making the A/B honor roll. At our IEP meeting in the end of the year, his teacher said that he had matured more than about any child she had ever taught. He did become more independent and I was able to pull out of the picture as the year progressed, but it took a lot of team work.

You are your child's advocate but that doesn't mean you go in with all guns blazing in the beginning! Give the teacher a chance, try to communicate, document your attempts, and then if that doesn't work, go up the ladder!

i dont know about the schools everywhere else, but here they r so worried about....." if kids dont get good grades they dont get all this funding for the school.. they were not going to pass my son to 3rd grade next year because they said 3rd grade is very demanding and they dont think he is "ready" for that.. just for the fact that he need to be reminded several times to do something and that he has "difficulty" focusing..... I was so fed up with the school last year... my daughter is praised constantly for how hard she works and my son works just as hard but all that he gets from the teachers is lack of this and lack of that...

I cry so much during the school year... Just for the fact of how frustrated i get.. I honestly am scared of him starting school this year.... i have that hopeless feeling... i have gone so far as to make sure all his clothes and shoes is name brand..( no walmart) so that maybe he will fit in or be accepted more.. and that sucks cuz thats not me.... walmart is just fine for me....... sorry i am venting .. i will quit for now... sorry ppl.. just am fed up i guess........

How old is your son? And what has been happening to get him sent to the principal's office every afternoon and barred from the school bus?

will be 9 in december... he cant sit still towards the end of the day... none of the slow release meds work.. trust me i have tried them all... the ritalin is the only thing that has worked.... and the bus.... kids picking on him, punching him calling him names..... one kids punched him so my son hit him back ( which i know that is not right.. but he told the bus driver and they didnt do anything...)

I agree about having to find a teacher who will meet you half way. But that means that both of you have to go the distance. My son's teacher did meet em half way ... but i was in his classroom every single morning and I worked as hard as he did and his teachers did to get him through. But if his teacher wouldna't have worked with me, he never would have thrived like he did .. so I agree, if it's not working .. move him.How old is your son? And what has been happening to get him sent to the principal's office every afternoon and barred from the school bus?

Maybe I have just been extremely lucky but so far 95% of my kids teachers really have a good handle on ADHD and they seem to "get" my kids. My son is off the charts hyper/impulsivebut has no attention issues. His diagnosis is ADHD but he is really only H. He has had his share of behavior issues and discipline at school but I have always agreed with the school/teacher's decisions.

It sounds like the meds are not working. Maybe time for a change.

addexec Love your idea about the video. If teachers and other kids could see what wonderful individuals our ADHD children are it would be great![QUOTE=jordansmom]

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My son just finished 3rd grade in Florida. It sucks. The teachers are great and I got a lot of support .. but this friggin FCAT b.s. is AWFUL! This is grade school and these kids are under so so so much pressure! It's awful! And thrid grade IS when it starts! At this age these kids are still developing. It used to be that teaches coudl help them develop skills at their own pace. Now they all hav to be at exactly the same place so that they can pass these stupid standardized tests! I blame the Bushes. Gearge Bush our revered (NOT) president and Jeb Bush our idiot govenor. So much for being a kid and really being given the opportunity to learn is school. Not it all boils down to a test score. I am so angry I could spit!

I hate the idea of your son being held back .. but 3rd grade is tough. Is ther any way you can get him into private school? or a public school with smaller classes? It sounds to me like the school is not working with you and not interested in seeing your child succeed (that funding is much more important).

One way to help your sone fit in better is to get him involved in extra cirricular activities. My son is in cub scouts and he has made friends there. I also make play dates for him. He's 8 and a little old for "play dates" so we don't call them that .. but I am helping him form friendships and realtioships outside of the classroom. I don't want him to think that his whole self esteem should be based on something at which he isn't very good.

Private schools are not a good idea for kids with adhd. They do not have to provide ANY services to help the child. They can just kick the child out and then that leads to worse self - esteem issues for the child and problems for the parents.

Jordans mom - if regular ritalin works, then concerta or metadate should work too. You probably just need to increase the dose if you do not see success.

First, most ADHD kids have had it by the end of the school day and cannot sit still. Second, when medication begins to wear off, kids can become more sensitive to other children. Third, ADHD kids often need a lot of structure in the classroom, and the end of the day is less structured. Fourth, transitioning from one activity to another can be difficult for ADHD kids, and the transitioning from classwork to going home may be difficult for your son. Finally, but most importantly, your son is being bullied. When you take all the difficulties the end of the day causes for an ADHD kid and couple them with being bullied, your son could be filled with anxiety at the end of the day. School busses are terrible places for kids that are bullied, and I would suggest that he not ride one, if at all possible.

I don't understand why your son is not receiving 504 modifications, if his ADHD is interfering with his ability to excel in school. He should be covered by 504 and receiving modifications. When you sit down with the 504 Committee and write up the modifications for your son, I would MAKE SURE I address the end-of-the-day issues. Your son could do something that would let him be active and ease his anxieties. He could help the teacher organize the room, sharpen pencils, stack papers, take books to the library, run errands, etc. Kids this age love to help the teacher. During your 504 meeting, I MOST CERTAINLY would address the bullying, making the school aware you know it's going on. It is there responsibility to address this and handle it.

I hope some of this helps. Hang in there! This has got to be tough and frustrating.

lillian38540.3072453704

OK THIS MAY SOUND STUPID BUT WHAT IS A 504 ? IF IT IS MEETING WITH THE TEACHER.... (YEAH RIGHT).... THATS FUNNY... THEY GIVE US 10 MIN AND THEY R ALWAYS IN SUCH A HURRY... ALLS THEY SAY IS OK OK OK YEAH " WELL WORK ON THAT" AND SO ON............. GRRRRRRRRRR I COULD PULL MY HAIR OUT

504 is a civil rights law, designed to protect the civil rights of people with disabilities. In many states, ADHD is not considered special education (though some states will allow ADHD kids to be classified as Other Health Impaired, or OHI). ADHD kids usually fall under 504. What this means, is that if your son has a true medical diagnosis of ADHD, then he should be covered under 504. Each school should have a 504 Committee, made up of teachers, counselors, administrators, etc., who are responsible for making sure that students with disabilities are excelling in the classroom. If a "disability," such as ADHD, is keeping a child from excelling, then the 504 Committee must address this. Modifications should be made to help the child succeed. If the child still does not succeed, then the child should be referred for a special education evaluation, to rule out learning disabilities or other problems.

[QUOTE=hawks2921]

Jordans mom - if regular ritalin works, then concerta or metadate should work too. You probably just need to increase the dose if you do not see success.

It depends on the school. Our son goes to a great private school. They pride them selves on a small student teacher ratio. and that helps a lot. If our son were in public school, I think things would be much tougher for him.

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oh my....so many nails hit right on the head!!! I feel like I have been reading my own thoughts in the posts. My 12 year old has ADHD and we went through ...I believe the word is HELL this last year. I made so many enemies in the school they are soooo glad he is moving up to middle school next year. We started out the school year with him on meds and he did just fine. We upped his dosage when it started to become uneffective. By March of this year he was almost triple the dose and in addition to his Asthma/allergy meds he HAS to take his system was wearing down quick. He began to get sick and was getting depressed. We weaned him off the ADHD meds but he continued to take his suppliments and vitamins. The school never knew he was off of it because we said he was still on it but a lower dose...ok..they probably knew but didn't want me making ripples again!!! I know he needs the meds he did sooo good in all areas but the combo of them and his meds he absolutely has to take for health reasons was just to much for him to handle. He is small for his age, he was born 8 weeks early and weighed 3lbs. 2oz. He has struggled so much in his life and I hate that this is just one more area he has to struggle with. The other children are horrible to him...however it got better at the end of the year. He is looking forward to 6th grade this next school year but we are so worried about his physical safety, his mental security, and his sbility to adjust to such a demanding schedule. I am having nightmares already and it is 4 weeks till school...Please if you have any ideas (or a great drink recipe) to help me through this...

Thanks...