I have a 11 year old boy and you just described him as if I was doing the talking. My son has been on meds since he was five and now they aren't working anymore. I took him off concerta about 2 weeks ago since school is on summer break. and he is a challange. I am tring him on strattera but see nothing from it. He is angry all the time. before school was out he was taking 54 mg concerta and his grades were C's.. he gets extra help outside the class room every day. but he is lazy and always said he did his work and won't do anything at home. I am a single mom and he has been holding his dad not around agains't me.
Does anyone have any suggustions?
HELP!
I just read the reply to the first post and thank you that is so true. he isn't acting out from adhd he is just being a brat and wanting his way.
I should of read your response first before I posted
I also thought that if i put my son on medication all of his behavior problems would get better. The more i learn about adhd the more i understand that they really can't help some of the things they do. Why would any child choose to be constantly in trouble and yelled at if they didn't have to be? It takes a lot of hard work, everyone (school, parents, meds, psychologists, psychiatrists) has to work as a team. I tell my son that we are all his coaches- not easy though.
This is for Maddie: You hit the nail fair and square on the head with your post. In our home we simply do not tolerate bad behavior, ADHD or not. We expect chores to be done without complaints, to be respectful of others, to have manners, to do homework, to be dressed for school etc etc etc etc and I must say our general discipline is quite strict. Well guess what, Nicholas loves it. He knows exactly where he stands and that alone gives him a great deal of security and stability. He accepts the consequences when he messes up without tears because he understands why he is being punished. ( No TV etc) He also knows we love him beyond words and we tell him this on a daily basis. We want him to grow up to be the very best he can be and we simply will not allow ADHD to be a stumbling block or an excuse for bad behavior, either at school or at home. Medication is not going to fix the inherent responsibility of the parent to be in charge and teach their child what's acceptable and what isn't. A pill is a pill is a pill....it does not cure things. The fundamental responsibility is on the parent to teach the child. I know it's a big job... but who can be better equipped?Scbagrl,
Could be both-- kid problems or more to it.
In reading your post, I need to ask what are your expectations of your child being on medication (especially since you are thinking of upping the dosage).
Do you have the expectation that the medication you have your child on will resolve all issues with your child and school- and your child meeting his/her defined, tested standard in school?
In other words: your child's performance in school is a direct measure of the medication your child is taking? Do you believe meds = performance standards?
Oh, how I could write pages about meds and school and performance of my child when he was in school.
Lazy didn't cross my mind, since I witnessed how much work he put into avoiding doing the most basic of requirements: homework. Or watching how he complicated his existence beyond belief with the non-completion of work-- or even more perplexing: not turning in work that I stood over him as he completed.
For TWO weeks his life involved sitting at my table to do homework. He had no life outside that chair as long as I got word he wasn't turning in his homework. At age 11. I watched him do the work; saw and proofed the work-- it never got to the teacher. IT never got to the teacher-- and it would have afforded him time watching TV, playing outside or hanging with his friends!!
LAZY?!?! That's not the word for it. I'd have picked stupid, or self-destructive.
When I afforded him relief from the chair at my table with the option of cleaning the bathroom-- even cleaning the toilet-- for half an hour of TV, and he complied; that's when I KNEW he wasn't "lazy."
Disrepectful at age eleven? What is that?
Is he mouthy? What are you describing with "disrepectful?"
You not only hold the cards-- you hold his very LIFE. He is eleven years old.
ADHD or not-- he's eleven and you hold the cards. Stand your ground-- he gets nothing but food and shelter until he understands his place. Disrespect should afford him NOTHING- absolutely nothing. He gets TV, social activity, phone, digital games, legos-- whatever, ONLY if and when he exhibits acceptable behavior. ADHD or not.
If he has a life in spite of being disrespectful-- you're givng it to him. You are giving him everything and receiving disrespect? Medication won't change that. Medication (if he's even taking it) is costing you money-- and what are you getting in return?
Kid problems or more to it? Lazy? Avoiding or not doing what you don't like to do isn't being "lazy." And "kid problems" are what? Something a parent should dance around?
Seems to me your child is quite bright and knows exactly how to be the one calling the shots. To his detriment, as well as your own. Heads up: medication won't tip that scale.
Kid problems or more to it? You tell me...
Hello..I have an 11 year old boy that was diagnosed a couple of years ago and we put him on Ritalin and it made a drastic difference in school. Well we are now noticing that he is having problems again is school, not completing work, not focussing, disrespectful and so on. We increased his dosage by a little and it seemed to make a little difference but no enough so I am thinking it should be a little more. He only takes his medication at during school hours, well he started 6th grade and just finished and this has been his worst year yet. He got out of school with a 1.7 gpa, he scored in the top 5% nationwide on his STAR testing. He is very smart but lazy. We have also had trouble at home with him being disrespectful, lazy, doesnt do chores, if he does he does a crappy job, doesnt complete homework or tells us he has none, and an array of other things. I really dont want to spend another year like we just spent.
Are these just kid problems or is there more to it?