need advice
The home page for this site has alot of useful info:
This site as well:
I would also get a book for your husband to read, or set up a conference with his doctor. Do you have you son in any behavoiral therapy? This would give you the tools to change your son's behavoir. Maybe suggest this to your husband. It could show him that you truly want to see changes, but you need help in how to go about it. Tell him you want to give your son the tools he needs so that ADHD is not a "crutch". You can't do it on your own though. You need your husband to be on your team in dealing with this.
Probably the best book I've read is Taking Charge of ADHD by Russell Barkley....it truly gave me such a clear picture of what ADHD is all about.
My DH sounds a lot like yours...I made him read some of the more important chapters...and he was amazed that the book was written about our son. DH has his own issues so it didn't last though.
You are right, people have no idea what ADHD really is until they live it....me included.
I agree with stepmom, and i hope maybe your husband sees the light and starts to understand. Your son could use the support from both of you. Good Luck..... my hubby was that way when everyone kept coming tp us and telling us that are kid might have adhd so when the teacher approaqched us about it we both left the school sat in the truck and started cryin and from that moment on he knew are son had a problem but are son has had problems from the time he was born we both new he was different the stuff that he use to do so we both werent surprized just upset i am sorry your hubby dont understand i wish i could help you out but all i cand o is pray that he will understand soon well i hope the best of luckto you [QUOTE=jordansmom]
My hubby gets upset says our son uses ADHD as a "crutch" which p*ssed me off... so he can act the way he does.... he says he just needs to put his foot down more and make our son pay attention and stay on his but till stuff is done... [/QUOTE]
Does he know that is the most common, yet ineffective approach to dealing with AD/HD?
If he really wants to know, will he read about what its like?
Demanding that your son just focus is like someone demanding your husband to become left handed...RIGHT NOW. Or play Mozart on the piano...RIGHT NOW.
In my opinion, the most awful thing about the disorder is that its symptoms overlap so closely with some very bad character traits.
If you drew two big circles that overlapped slightly, you would have a football shaped figure in the middle.
In that football you could list all the symptoms....lack of focus, inattentiveness, lack of follow through, social problems, etc etc.
Then you could label bothe circles....One on the left is "Bad Kid who needs more discipline" and the other on the right is "AD/HD kid who isn't processing data and stimuli correctly".
You and your husband agree on the football shaped symptoms section, he just needs to understand that those symptoms are not ALWAYS indicative of "bad kid"
Then tell him that your son will one day come to grips with all of it.....and as someone who has walked in your son's shoes, I guarantee he'll remember who was on his side and who wasn't.
Teachers, bosses, girlfriends, buddies, neighbors etc. will all line up against him during his life, and say "excuses, excuses"
but a parent that lines up against you when it truly is just a disorder you didn't ask for, That's the cruelest rejection there is. That's when you really start to think God did make you "Bad".
If the discipline stuff isn't working for Dad, what makes him think more of it will do the trick? You can't chain the kid up. Maybe your doctor can help explain its not an "excuse".
NOW THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOO TOUCHING...... BROUGHT HONEST TO GOD TEARS TO MY EYES.......... AND IT ALL MADE PERFECT SENCE............ THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU CRACK ME UP.... I AM GOING TO BE 29 
IT IS NICE TO KNOW U KNOW WHERE I AM COMMING FROM AND THAT I AM NOT CRAZY 
but anyway unfortunatly you might never get him to totaly believe in ADHD my dad agrees i have it and my mom has it but there is nooooo way josh has it !!!! my heart goes out to you f you could only know 
i am 30 rs and i can't go but maybe 1 day wothout mes it makes me feel so much better and i can see reactions of ppl im talking to that im not a pain in the u know whatHi! I just got back from vacation and I'm catching up on the message board..... had to respond to this one, as my IN-LAW'S just gave me the whole "give um a good spanking that they won't forget" SPILL......... They are so back-a** country, they don't even listen to what I try and explain to them about their Grandkids. They are keeping them this week and of course my Mother-in law tells me she doesn't see the same things that I deal with in the mornings. Thats' because they don't have to get up and get ready to GO somewhere at 6:00 in the mornings! I'd like for her to take my place for a week during the school year and see what they are like then!!!! At least I know they will be taking their meds. They are 11 and 9 and they BOTH know they need it to gain control. Hang in there! All of us on this board can surely relate!!!!!! Dawnwell i'm glad i could make ou laugh....i love to make ppl laugh!!!!I am at work right now.. and hubby just called.. our marriage is shaky right now cuz i defend my son with (adhd) and he thinks he needs to be firmer with my son.. he does not think he should have his meds during the summer and i do.. i started him back on them yesterday..
My hubby gets upset says our son uses ADHD as a "crutch" which p*ssed me off... so he can act the way he does.... he says he just needs to put his foot down more and make our son pay attention and stay on his but till stuff is done... he thinks my mom and i want him to be on meds so that its easier to handle him... u know get him to mind... i have about lost it... this is day 4 we are fighting about this.... is there a websight or anyone who can give me all the symptoms and stuff so i have hard facts to show hubby.... I cant take this no more...
I think it is upsetting my hubby that he knows our son has a problem , but he dont want to admit it... that my hubby cant "fix" this on his own... my hubby is real independent... anyways.. hope this all makes sence i am crying as i am typing... i just wish i could snap my fingers and everything would be better.. People act like adhd is no big deal.. but intill u have a kid with it you just dont know how it is.... Oh yeah does anyone else get told that adhd is a bunch of bs? that parents are lazy now adays and this is a "babysitting" method for lazy ppl...and its awfull funny kids back in the day never had it..... GAWD I GET TIRED OF PPL TELLING ME ALL OF THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just wondering if i was the only one who has to put up with negitive ppl out in population aka "world"...
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