JakesMema,
It does sound like your son may have ADD with perhaps some other emotional complications from years of struggling with it. I agree with CheifB regarding the "short answers" thing. I don't think that's typical with ADD.
The anger you mention causes concern. The fact that he does not speak much AND is likely to have ADD, leads me to beleive that he is bottling up all his emotion inside. This is not healthy for anyone. People with ADD tend to take things very personal. I'm sure your son has plenty to say, but may not know how to say it, or has given up altogether. His angry writings are an example of this.
I think your son needs to talk. If you have the means, it is probably a good idea if you can have him talk to a professional. A good psychologist will know the right questions to ask to help your son find the answers himself. I beleive his anger and isolated personality should be "root caused".
What may be difficult and uncomfortable is talking to him about your concerns. If you are able to do that, try to get him the help he needs to deal with his anger and withdrawn personality first, then deal with the ADD.
-JA
Thanks so much for everyones comments.
I think you are right, and will see what we can do. It really makes sense when I hear someone else say it....especially about that fact that he won't talk, but probably has it all bottled up inside. I had been thinking along the same lines...address the anger first, and then diagnose if there is ADD there too.
I have a son who is 39, and I suspect he has ADHD. One thing I notice is that he is very fidgety. Even when he is eating, he is stabbing at his food. When doind something, like making his lunch, he is "jerky"...he seems like he is in a hurry, but yet he normally never does anything Fast. He has a hard time finishing anything, and has never kept a job over 9 months...either quitting cause he didn't like it, or getting fired.
He can't seem to pick things up. He lives in a mess. He doesn't take care of responsibilties. Today, my husband noticed his tire was all cut up. He had done some damage to his car ( has never had a car that was not involved in some kind of accident) and there was a piece of metal sticking out, and it was rubbing on the tire when he took a bump, and was cutting the tire up. My husband pounded the metal down. My son said "oh I heard something rubbing when I hit a bump"...and we are thinking, Well why didn't you check to see what it was? He does things like this all the time.....he seems to have no common sense. If you ask him a question, he will answer it in the least words possible, even though there might be something important to say, and then later add something that changed the story all together. Its so frustrating...he cannot make small talk. Its very hard for him.
Does anyone else relate to any of these things.
My reseach tells me that if this is ADD, it is an extremely severe case. I am curious to know a couple of things about it since it would enhance my understanding of the disorder.
1. At what age was your son when you first suspected that something was wrong?
2. Are his behaviors worse now that he is older?
The problem with your suspicions are that some of the symptoms DO smack of ADD and others do not. The ones that do are the inability to make small talk, but with ADD one does not make small talk because it doesn't seem important enough to talk about. A deep philosophical conversation is more our speed even though we tend to get distracted during the conversation. Also, this social skill is one that we never learned as we aged because we were shut off from peer groups wherein we would have been able to practice the skill.
Also, the short answers that you say he gives are inconsistent with ADD. Typically the ADDer cannot talk about a very simple incident without completely exhausting the English language. It is very frustrating for the listener.
The employment history is very ADDlike and one more thing that really struck home with me. You wrote that it he seems to have no common sense. This is exactly what a parent of an ADDer would say. You are not being mean. You simply have no other way of describing the behavior that you are seeing and until you are educated with respect to your son's affliction you will have to go on describing it they same way you always have. Unfortunately, most of the rest of society will do the same.
Your son should be tested and gotten into therapy right away.
I did not really think about ADD until the last year or so. Up until then, we just couldn't figure out why he "couldn't get it together", and why he always did what we thought "made no sense." He can't seem to function in this world. He has struggled for 20 years. He owns nothing. He is always looking for a way to make a dollar, but never a sensible way.. He has no social skills. My sister came over the other day to see him. He had been out of state for about 3 years. He came up from the basement and just answered her questions. Stood there, for a few minutes, and instead of saying " nice seeing you, but I have something to do, etc."...he just turned around and sort of smiled with that "scared little boy look", and walked back down the basement.
When he was in HIgh School, I think he was sort of everyones "whipping boy". He was small in stature, and picked on probably more than others. I have read some of his "writings" lately, and he has a ton of anger in him against people that he felt wronged him in his early age. He tried every sport you could think of in high school, but never excelled in any. He also has tried going to school for different things. Once he quit, another time he finshed, but didn't stay in the field for more than 9 months..he said it was boring.
I could go on and on...but I think you get the point. He can't stick with anything. He'll get a job and be all thrilled about it, and 3 weeks later, he doesn't want to be there.
I am going to see that he see someone and try to diagnose what is going on.