A Special Quest
The search is over, now I just have to call her more and get to know her. I wish everyone else who's on this quest lots of luck as well. 
Fukaiotaku-
Hello, I have not spoken with you before, but I have read some of your posts regarding your birth mother.
You mentioned that you have been seeking out your birth mother since age 6. I wondered why at such a young age, you began to seek out your birth mother?
Were you in a foster home and not happy with your foster parents? Or were you adopted at a very young age and told by your adoptive mother that you were "adopted" and that you had "biological" parents in this world?
I do not ask because I am adopted or fostered, but I do ask because I desire to help those who are to make the best of their lives. I can contribute a lot, but I can not control desires and wishes. When the desire arrises to contact the birth parents or know about the biological "family", I don't know whether or not to encourage it......
In your perspective....has this been a good or bad situation for you to meet your birth mother?
Thank you for your reply
Four of my five kids are adopted and all free to search. Strangely, my oldest son knows his birthmther's name and address. Although she lives abroad, he has the money to go there. His attitide is, "I have a family. I don't need more." He could always change his mind, but he's 28 and has never tried to visit or contact her. My 21 year old Korean daughter would probably look if somebody did it for her, but is lazy about searching. She has a name too and many Korean adoptees go to Korea to search. So far she seems disinterested. She knows we'd support her. My son, who is autistic, isn't interested at all. He's interested only in the here and now. It's his nature. My 9 year old knows who her birthmother and birthfather are and has seen them. She can find them easily when she turns 18 and probably will. I'm sort of mad at them because they promised to stay in her life if we had an open adoption, and they both disappeared. They know how to find us. My best friend, adpted, found her birthmother at 37 and has mixed emotions about it. She feels her adoptive mother is her "real" mother and is alarmed that she is much more self-sufficient than her biological family. Now they seem to call her the most when they need help. Her birthmother can't drive and asks her to drive her around. Her oldest "sister" is jealous that she's not the oldest anymore and that my friend is FAR more beautiful than she is. She gets along great with bio. brother and ok with younger sister. Her "stepfather" has tried to hit on her because "You remind me so much of ### when she was younger." Yuk. She found lots of alcoholism in her family, but she had that in her adoptive family too. All in all, she is glad she did it but has detached a lot too and refuses to be the rock for them. She sees them often enough. She tells everyone who wants to search that it is a very emotional experience and not to do it until you are at least 30 and very emotionally stable. She looked for her birthfather too, but he was dead and his family had no interest in knowing her. Oddly, she was his only child! Just a bit of trivia on the topic :)
Thanks. I am currently beginning my search. I live in Texas, but I was born in Michigan. That is making it a little more difficult to get rolling. Keep us posted on your progress.I just got some wonderful mail today from the State, it's some information on what happened on my birthday and some information (that needs to be corrected how fun) on my birthparents. I have mixed emotions about this. I'm trying to meet my birthmother, but I'm kinda nervous and anxiety is really kicking in. She's someone that I have asked about my entire life since age of 6. But, if there are any children who are adopted and wanting to meet their birthfamily I just wanted to say that hope is there for you and God is with you, never give up what you have, and that's faith.
my hubby was adopted and is now tryin to find them i just hope it comes thru for him
Today, we're going to try calling her later this evening. I also found out what time I was born, and my entire full name. It sounds weird because I'm already named as someone else and I don't feel like that other person that they would've named me. 
I was adopted at the age of 5 months old. My adopted parents told me I was adopted when I was 6 or 8..can't remember. But, I was always curious about my birthmom. The one thing I wanted to know was "what happened on my birthday?" The only thing I know is that I was born a pound and a half at birth. But, there's more I'd like to know. For instance, some of the traits I have, do they come from anyone else? Because I hear so much talk in my family right now about my young relatives how they look and act like their father or mother or great grandmother's side and this and that. I'm not mad, but it makes me envy. I want to know, where do I fit in? I mean don't get me wrong I love my family with all my heart, it's just there are times I feel left out when there are family discussions like this. Plus, I want to know if there's anything I should be on the look out for medically in the future, I'm already autistic, but is there more? My birthfamily looks pretty healthy the adoption papers say. Also, I would like to know where do some of the things I do come from? It would be interesting to know. And yes, as a child I was mad at my birthmom for using marujana during her pregnancy with me, and I still have that anger in me, but I can't let it out right away or I'll scare her, she has feelings too. I want to get to know her first. She called me last night, and hearing her voice, I was speechless and anxious at the same time. Wow, I can't help but be curious. Did she seem happy to have talked to you? This is an amazing story and I find myself really wishing you have a happy future with your birth mother. Funny how I know nothing about you but feel an excitement for you. I hope you keep us updated.She was happy to talk to me and she was shocked also. She was more talkative out of the two of us, she was very uplifting in her voice. She is very eager to meet me and to give me a hug that she has never gotten. As for me on the phone, anxiety was running through my entire body, all I could say was "Yeah..uh-huh..mmm" I just froze. However, it was a good phone call now that I think about it.I would be a nervous wreck too. I think it will help that you have your parent (adoptive) along. I think your plan is good. Just simple questions. Wow, this is so cool for you and since she wants to give you a hug I bet a day hasn't gone by that she hasn't thought of you. I wish you the best when you meet and just remember, she is probably just as nervous as you.Today I have recieved two phone calls. One from my biological brother and the second from my biological mother. It looks like she is extremely eager to meet me, so much that she is wanting to have a dinner with me and the immdiate family this week, it hasn't yet been confirmed. Somehow, I feel overwhelmed by getting alot of phone calls and right now I feel anxiety and paranoia. I've never met these people before in my life, and when it comes to crowds I don't do well. Nor do I do well in conversations, I'm starting to get obsessive thoughts of: what if I "outburst" in front of these people!!? Or have a meltdown? But, I made sure my adoptive parents can come along, but still anything can happen. I want to just get to know her first, ask her simple questions like what she likes to do, that sort of stuff. I didn't know this was so complicated. *nervous laugh*The meeting last night went alright. But, I was nervous to get out of the car my father helped me out of it. And I saw my bio-mom standing a few feet away from me on the sidewalk. As we got closer she hugged me, I was hesitant, but she wasn't. When she hugged me, I could see a tear starting to form in her eye kinda. I also heard a sniffle or two. When I stood in front of the door along with my birthmom, my entire family was there to greet me with smiles. I was quiet and my anxiety level rose to high that entire night, but I did talk a little bit. One thing, I did point out alot was that my name was "Elizabeth and not Angela". I could hear several family members accidently calling me that, that made my mind twitch a little inside. My adoptive parents enjoyed the meeting also, they had a wonderful time, despite it being both mom and dad together. Some of the things that I caught on to were that, my biological aunt and mom were saying things like "Can't wait to have you over for the holidays". Or "someday we can have a sleep-over,just you, me, and your sister and we can just hang out." That did sound nice but I hardly know these people. They've known about me since the day I was born basically, but to me they're still strangers. As for now, things are going fine. I saw and talked to my social case worker and she gave really good input on adoption reunions. Hopefully there will be more like these in the future. I shall still have my adoptive parents come with me. I am so glad that things went well for you. I would just take your time getting to know them. I wouldn't necessarily commit yourself to future "family" functions just yet.
I think alot of times the bio-family is looking to immediately make you a part of their family and forget that you have your own. It will be a tricky thing at first to adjust to. That is why taking your time is important. Things should always be on your comfort level. Do not feel pressured into something you are not ready for.
It almost sounds like I am giving you dating advise, but in a way that is exactly what you are doing.
Again, I am so happy that you finally got to meet your birth mother. Do you feel like a chapter in your life is closed? That is kind of how I have always imagined it. Like, a new world would be opening up to me. To see yourself in another person for the first time in your life is a powerful thing. Those who aren't adopted totally take that knowledge for granted. I am glad you got to see that last night.
Sheri
Great news!!!!!!!! I know the feeling. Although, I never got the chance to meet my b-mom or b-dad, because they were deceased before I could meet them. But I can definately relate in regards to my aunt & uncle (birthfather's brother & sister). I have been in reunion with them for about 2 years now. But I remember my aunt & uncle (in front of my a-parents) saying your father,you father, your father, & I was like my father???? Playing the drums No way. It was confusing and embarrassing at the same time, because they tell you how much you look like & act like them, etc. But that wears off with time. BTW, I have never spent any holidays with them, they have their own children & I would never over step them. But I do (after the holidays well X-mas) invite them over for dinner. It takes time for a relationship to grow. Just take as much time as you need. That is all I can say.I've been searching for my birth mother only on the Internet. I know if I paid someone I would probably get a name, but I'm afraid to ruin her current family life, that or I just don't want it bad enough. fukaiotaku, I'm really glad to here a good adoption storyThat is wonderful all went well. I agree with Sheri. Take things at the pace you feel comfortable with. Next time you meet will be a little nerve racking too but by the third visit you should feel a little more at ease. It is nice that your parents felt comfortable. I wish you the best with what ever happens and I'll check in for updates. I'm very happy for you!
Tonight is the big meeting, I will post how everything goes either tonight or tomorrow. Right now I'm excitied and very nervous and anxious. Good luck & take deep breaths. I will be thinking about you tonight..........
You know this will be one of the first threads I open tomorrow. Best of luck! By the way, I think your adoptive parents are terrific. I think that tells you just how much they love you. This is probably not easy for them and is tugging at their heart strings. 
Congrats!!!!! That may make it a little easier for you guys. Please let us know of the outcome. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!Not sure, but if it runs in your birthfamily, why not??? I talk to my uncle about my daughters disorder all the time...... It runs in both sides of our family
. But I am glad I found this website, because I am learning so much. I think my daughter has Aspergers Syndrome. I've been researching alot about it lately. She goes to the neuro Aug. 2. Please take a deep breath & relax.........It's the greatest ride on earth. Good luck with both families.........It seems that when she meant big crowd she meant the immediate family, so I decided to go ahead and go to the dinner tomorrow evening. I hope it goes okay. Also, I talked to one of my siblings and I told him I was autistic and he didn't know what that was, even I couldn't explain it (it's hard for me to). Also, the rocking seems to carry on in the family. I don't think anyone knows about my asperger's and other problems, except for asthma. Should I wait and tell them that stuff later?
Hi I am adopted also. My search ended with graves though in 2003. My b-father died 21 years ago from a drug overdose & my mom had a stroke in 2003. I was upset, because all I wanted was to talk with her. I have a great adoptive family I wouldn't trade for the world, but I was always curious to know where I came from. My birthname is Laura Palmer. I have 2 uncles, 1 aunt & cousins, whom I am pretty close with. It helps with the losses I experienced when I first had found them. My 1 uncle (mom's brother) lives in England (that is where my mom was from). He takes care of my grandma & is slowly coming around. He had sort of rejected me at first. I am happy I have closure though. And deal with the issues on a One day at a time thing. I also have a half-brother who I have talked on the phone with, exchanged pictures & write emails with, but we haven't met in person yet. Please take care & try not to let the emotional "roller coaster" ride get you down. It's a wild ride!!!!!!! Hang on!!!!! Congrats!!!!!!
Sue
The feelings you are having are completely normal. I forgot to write that. sry. I had the same feelings of being overwhelmed & anxious. I still do at times. Try to remain calm. Take it one step at a time. God bless,
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Sue
I still have yet to meet my real father. Also, I am starting to see that my real mom may has Asperger's as well. It can be obvious at times I think. She's very anti-crowds. She doesn't like crowds at all, which is the same with me. She also rocks. Funny where I got that one from. I just got to take things one day at a time like everyone's said.
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