ADD, comorbidity and personal successes | ADHD Information

Hi All!

I am really beginning to understand why ADD is so often comorbid with depression.

I work for a datacenter provider as a system administrator. I recently switched departments and have been becoming more and more frustrated because this job requires a high level of focus and short term memory. I am fairly competent as an IT specialist, having written several computer books and magazine articles, but so often in this job I "freak" when critical events happen, I lose focus, forget things really quickly and other common ADD traits.

I am on-call this weekend, which means if something happens, I get an SMS from our monitoring software and have to deal with the situation. Usually when my cell phone rings with an SMS when I have duty, I get a real unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach. It something like forboding, which often turns into despair when I read the message and see what the problem is.

I started with Ritalin last Thursday with 5mg doses and had not yet moved up to 10 mg. This morning I started with 10mg.

A little over an hour ago, I got one such SMS. However, this time the felling was simply one of annoyance because I was *finally* talking to my wife about my ADD and I didn't like being cut off in the middle like that. When I looked at the SMS, I saw that the problem was *very* severe and I needed to go into work.

All this time, the only thing I was feeling was the annoyance of not being able to enjoy my Sunday. No fear. No forboding. No despair. I went in, evaluated the problem, collected the tools I needed to solve the problem, made a couple of phone calls to verify some information and solved the problem.

It wasn't really until I was in the process of shutting things down that I realized what I had been feeling all along (well, actually, what I hadn't been feeling.)  Had I screwed up somewhere, it would have been loss of service for a number of customers. However, I just did what I was supposed without hesitation or fear. It is a great feeling!!!

I have been thinking about all of what I have been going through since I moved to this department. The frustrations caused by my ADD symptoms were the primary (if not single) cause of my bouts of depression. When something happens where we "should know better", like misplacing our keys or forgetting appointments, I imagine that a lot ADDers are like me and get very frustrated. This frustration turns to depression because we feel helpless to solve the problem.

Although I am not sure yet if larger doses will help me overcome the remaining symptoms, I know I am on the right track.

Regards,

jimmo

Jimmo,

We have almost identical backgrounds and I totally agree: as soon as the meds started working I lost my 'edge of panic' anxiety for all things system related. I've also found it far easier to build solutions without going off into lala system land.

I also have experienced some depression along with my ADD and it does often relate to projects either at work, or at home.  One thing about work is keeping the "got it together" display turned on all the time.  Man, if they only knew! However, since recognizing my problem some things have become easier to manage and understand.  Prayer also helps alot. 

peace to all

I understand completely how ADHD can lead to depression.

I used to get that awful feeling too when I got assigned a bunch of long term projects at once. I'd just kind of panic, and felt there was no way I could break down those projects into manageable pieces and finish them. Also, I'd keep thinking I'd screw things up, and everyone would be disappointed with me. On top of that, I had big social problems, and I'd always say or do the wrong things and people would hate me. Needless to say, I because quite depressed in high school. I'm much better now, though.

I'm glad you're doing well in your job, and good luck to you in the future