Has any1 wondered what we would be like without ADHD,I sure would like to know but will never find out as this is something I have to deal with for life.Since I was 7yrs old I have been a nightmare for my Mum.I'm 18 in 2months & still I can have my moments of smashing the house up,getting angry if I can't get my own way.I repeat myself all the time,always talking about things that are not going to happen for ages but I like to plan ahead although I get let down alot in my life(Maybe cos people don't give me a chance some of the time) It's like most of the time I'm not me its like Im always talking through my ADHD,the things I say I sometimes think If I didn't have ADHD I would not have said that but I can't help saying things that are out of the ordinary Cos it's not me really its the condition I've got.Only family & close family friends know about my ADHD.Sometimes I wanna tell people but it's hard cos once its been said there's no going back I may lose people forever & I need to hold on to the people I got cos its hard for me to make friends,Most of my school life I was on my own I had one mate who gave me a chance although she knew nothing of my problems but still wanted to know me after the weird things I did at school,But now we are no longer mates.When I do get close to people I always think that I'm gonna lose them so maybe over crowd them always wanting them to put me first, always needing to be centre of attention competiting to be the only mate when their others mates are important but me needing to be if you know what I mean.
I do get that from the Missus but having been educated with respect to ADD, I can see how my behaviors could tend to wear on my wife. In other words, I am ready to change me. I cannot change my wife.scott, I found that when I quit trying to change my husband and started trying to change myself, he changed for the better faster than I did. I think when someone who cares about you sees you trying to change, they are motivated to look at themselves also and to want to please you.
Its not easy. I am way to self centered and I fight it almost all the time. The rest of the time, I give myself a break. LOL
The sad fact is that most people who don''t have ADD can't understand us and really believe we should have more control over things that we can't control. For some reason, they continue to love us anyway! Its up to us to try to be the best we can be.
To answer your question, yes my self centeredness is hard on not only my marriage but on my family. Its hard on me. I feel a lot of guilt over things I have let control me when I could have tried harder and given more/better to the ones I love. Yes, often I get angry when I feel like I am the one expected to do all the changing.
In reality, every couple has those same feelings whether ADD figures in to their life or not. Its human nature. Barb