question for alcoholics | ADHD Information
I hope this isn't way off the mark, and it's a bit long..anyway, here it is:
There is alcoholism in both parents' families, as well
as diabetes, hypoglycemia, and (Dad's side at least,
I'm sure) ADHD. My dad used to drink heavily until
about 20 years ago, when both of them realised they
were having trouble in marriage and life because of
their drinking, partying and gambling (bingo). The
isolation of the military bases they were on made it
worse. They both totally quit all this, in particular the
drinking, and haven't had a drink since, except
perhaps one or two glasses of wine in the last 5
years.
As for should the partner drink...
I agree with "live and let live" UNLESS it is causing a
real problem for the ex-alcoholic. In which case, you
need to discuss the possibility of not drinking when
you are around each other, or whatever it seems
would help. Could be you need to both have a period
of total non-drinking, for new non-drinkers. I drink
rarely, but when I see someone else near me with a
beer or something, I often want one too (conversely,
if no one hs one, I usually won't want any). But I
guess the thing would be to determine what limits
are needed at the moment/for a period of time.Alcoholism and adhd seem to go together like peanut butter and jelly, so:
Do you expect your wife./husband/s.o. to not drink?
Hmm..I would say live and let live...don't let your problems govern someone else's fun, but I am just a naive little pup, and maybe the details of your situation warrant more sensitivity from your partner...
Hey resistance, not sure what you are asking...are you asking if non adhd partners should expect and tolerate alcoholism from their adhd spouses because people with adhd can't help but drink?
Please elaborate! I am, as usual, confused. Is this part of a fight you are having? It sounds like a partial question...
I mean as an ex-drunk, do you expect your partner to abstain.
Many of us ARE ex-drunks, no? That's the idea I've gotten.
[QUOTE=GarbagePailKid]Is this part of a fight you are having?
[/QUOTE]
I never fight.
The Resistance!
He will fight. And He Will Win.
You mean should your non alcoholic, non adhd partner abstain from drinking moderately? to be sensitive to your former alcoholism?
moderately would be the key.
how many people do you know who drink that would say they drink heavily? People over 25 anyway, below they would think it is cool.
everyone drinks "moderately" just like they "watch little television"
ah, hell. nevermind. what was the question and who asked it?
I still like peanut butter and Sopranos.
Make that three!
Thanks LTC.That makes two. :-)
[QUOTE=KIDD_ROCK4444][QUOTE=Auntie]Edited: PM'd the person instead.[/QUOTE]Forum: ADHD Adult
Topic: question for alcoholics
Posted By: Auntie[QUOTE=KIDD_ROCK4444]In fact, I get indian when people try to shield me from temptation. [/QUOTE][QUOTE=Auntie]Everyone knows I read everything on this forum and comment when I deem fit. Kidd, that comment was totally uncalled for and insulting.
If you have an alcoholic spouse I think, out of consideration, you
should not drink regardless if ADHD or not. Why tempt fate?[/QUOTE][QUOTE=KIDD_ROCK4444]Your
attack on me for my comment...about myself...is partialy uncalled for
and totally eclipsed by truth in the face of what you deem fit.
There is a principal which acts as a bar to learning, and can never
fail to keep a person in everlasting ignorance. That principal is
contempt prior to investigation.[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]
Whewww, let's see if I can get through this wealth of conversationalisms without having one of those famous ADHD Events...
KIDD: Curious as to what you meant by that statement.
Auntie: Did right by pm'g first. Someone didn't on me once, and I crashdived at the one ping only...
Auntie: Curious as to what you meant by that statement.
Auntie: Everyone knows I read everything on this forum Reading is good, but, pending the perspective, really, everything? There are 6957 forum members on 279 pages and you are on page number 1,
times how ever many postings each one has? e.g. Sheri.m has 2,073 (top
dog), I have 322 (page 2), (and it's barely 21:59), and Jesus has 0
(page 278).
and comment protected by the constitution.
and comment when I deem fit. But it sounds a little judgmental, don't you think? Pending the perspective, could be.
Kidd, that comment protected by the constitution.
Kidd, that comment was totally uncalled for and insulting. Pending the perspective, could be.
I took it so, at first. Human nature. But then, I asked myself, what
did he mean by that? And b/c I couldn't convince myself that I could
answer my own question, I decided to dig a little deeper and ask him,
in order to collect some additional facts.
KIDD caught that, too, as evidenced by his statement "contempt prior to investigation.".
KIDDdid: There
is a principal which acts as a bar to learning, and can never fail to
keep a person in everlasting ignorance. That principal is contempt
prior to investigation.
This is one of my marriage's biggest disorders: "judgment prior to the
collection of additional facts." In other words, "jumping to
conclusions". In other words "pre-judgment". In other words
"pre-judice".
Our
society, even us ADDrHDrrs, does not see this well, but we, as ADDrs
and ADHDrrs, are pre-judged, and prejudiced against, and conclusively
jumped, and judged according to only one set of facts, and held in
contempt prior to investigation.
We,
as a "functional fraternity", shouldn't need to beat us selves up, like
the nOrmals already do us. Let's kiss and make up... and go assist "The
Great Investigation"; before our kids have to live this pshyst all over
again...
I wasn't going to comment further on this because I have no business commenting in this Adhd/add Adult forum. You are right both Kidd_Rock and David. I did jump the gun before investigating which is exactly why I quickly edited/deleted my post and PM'd Kidd but I wasn't quick enough and it ended up for all to see. My just dessert!
I still don't understand why the word was used and actually looked it up in the most recent dictionary to see if it is listed as new sl*g.....wasn't there. Kidd said he isn't a biggot and I absolutely accept it. My appology to Kidd and to everyone else for invading your forum.
I will try my hardest to not read anything in the Adult section because I tend to react before I think and I'm afraid I'll jump the gun again. I will miss the wonderful humor I find in this forum.
[QUOTE=Auntie]I wasn't going to comment further on this because I have no business commenting in this Adhd/add Adult forum.I will try my hardest to not read anything in the Adult section because I tend to react before I think and I'm afraid I'll jump the gun again. I will miss the wonderful humor I find in this forum.[/QUOTE]
Hey, Auntie,
Don't leave! Who said you couldn't have business in this forum? Why, y'a selling AmWAy, or something like that? Ooops, that was probably politic'ly 'ncorrect, eh? hehehe
Hey, that's what I was talking about, how we all have a write right in our great Ol' U.S. of A. to say what we want to say. We just have to let others have their say, too, even if we don't like it. I hate the word "choice". I hate the word "gay". But I use them, and I let others use them, and try not to have fought.
Honey, that's why our boys and girls are dying in Iraq and Afghanistan... May God bless them...
And why not read anything in the Adult section (that's another word that's been abused)? Either you're an adult, or soon to be one, no? Do you think you're a Jedi, or something like that?
I mean, somewhy people challenge me on the issue, but I like what somewho said somewhen in here somewhere that went somewhat like this somehow: "AD/HDrs are either immature adults or mature children"... (did I postaphrase that right?)
Besides, you wouldn't be in here (any of the AD/HD forums), if it didn't impact your life somehow, somewhere, somewhen, ok, nuf said... and someone once said we needed medicine, and someone else once said laughter, the best medicine... so, come, partake, enjoy, and as they say in restuarants, shoot, I forgot what they say, but it bugs me when they say it, like i understand the language they're saying it in... but I let them, cuz' my citizens are dying in the middle east defending the freedom of speech...
ADD to that, it seems y'awl may have sympotmology of AD/HD yourself, no? In the impuslive way you said you think outloud before you speak, and something about a gun, which I liked, b/c my wife stole mine... here, let me go look at what you said... the way you jump (so is that for exercise?) over the gun before your fear, again,
So, be cool! Like someone likes to end their posts with,
"Peace"
So in counterprose I ended one once, now twice, in
"War"
Hey all,
Sorry I dropped out of this line as soon as I posted it I realized the inexactness of my question and that because of that it really couldn't be answered, I mean the actual far more complicated question I didn't type couldn't be answered.
I can be around drinkers, I hate being around drunks and suffer through it only when good reasons to do so abound.
My question really doesn't have anything to do with social drinking.
My question isn't really even a question, it should have been a statement.
I think my patience will come to an end with a s.o. who drinks heavily.
It causes a lot of issues between us which I really don't want to list.
Alcohol, drinkers, bars - for me this means poison, addicts, hellholes.
Not always - there are many exceptions so don't start in with the sad trite "glass of wine with dinner social drinker" argument.
Alcohol to me smells like death, puke and disillusionment in the deepest depression. It isn't funny nor manly. If you need it to think you or others are interesting or it is the only way you can have real fun, then.....
screw it I'm preaching.
I encourage you to drink lots, very very often.
Resistance
I'm with you!
[QUOTE=The Resistance!]Alcoholism and adhd seem to go together like peanut butter and jelly, so:
Do you expect your wife./husband/s.o. to not drink?
[/QUOTE]
I think yo misspelled it: left off the b. after the s.o. ...
Davidornado38579.9682060185 [QUOTE=GarbagePailKid]Hey resistance, not sure what you are asking...are you asking if non adhd partners should expect and tolerate alcoholism from their adhd spouses because people with adhd can't help but drink?
Please elaborate! I am, as usual, confused. Is this part of a fight you are having? It sounds like a partial question...[/QUOTE]
Oh, great. Do you mean partial, as in he didn't finish asking it? Or do you mean partial, as in he's biased?
[QUOTE=The Resistance!]Alcoholism and adhd seem to go together like peanut butter and jelly, so:
Do you expect your wife./husband/s.o. to not drink?[/QUOTE]
No. That means yes, right? No not to drink, means yes to drink, is ok. Right?
That was hard work. Now I'm thirsty.
[QUOTE=Davidornado] [QUOTE=The Resistance!]Alcoholism and adhd seem to go together like peanut butter and jelly, so:
Do you expect your wife./husband/s.o. to not drink?[/QUOTE]
No. That means yes, right? No not to drink, means yes to drink, is ok. Right?
That was hard work. Now I'm thirsty. [/QUOTE]
Oops, I forgot a/b the peanut butter and jelly. I love peanut butter and jelly. I'm out of peanut butter, tho, and almost out of jelly. And almost out of bread. I'll go buy some before the amPam closes. Thanks for the reminder...
Hi. My name is Kidd, I'm an alcoholic. I don't expect anyone to stop drinking just because I can't....well, I could, but I keep comming to with a tag on my toe... In fact, I get indian when people try to shield me from temptation. If I thought for one minute you wouldn't drink in front of me out of courtesy, I'd either force you to drink it, or give it to the rest of the drunks all passed out in your bathtub. It would be helpfull in the beginning, but any attempt to shield an alcoholic from booze is doomed to failure. If a recovered alcoholic can't be around drinking, he ain't recovered. He might as well go hide out at the North pole, but some Eskomo and a St Bernard would show up with some booze.I can change me, but me can't change you.
Hi, My name is David, and I'm a recovering alcholic and cereal addict. I found it easy to quit.. I've quit 20 times this month alone. When I run out. Oh, poor me. Pour me. Pour me another, to quote a famous her ADHDrness. She has a cute heart. Hey Joyce, got your ears on? How'd it go w/ dalk? /talk himn into your walk? cya.I used to have a huge drinking problem. getting smashed 2-4 times a week At the age of 18-20. I realized i had a huge problem when i couldnt make it to work during the week. Driving to work in the morning and throwing up all over the side of your car isnt how i like to start my day.
Since then im a very smart drinker. I do still enjoy a beer to relax ever once ina while and hardly ever get drunk anymore. Usualy when it does it ends up binge. Which is bad but WAYY better than i used to be.
My father was/is a huge drinker, but the only thing i learned from him was the taste off good beer.
kdiddy
Maybe wrong so what ? i i'm not an alcoholic
,i'm an alocholer
in the fact that I don't have more than a .1% bac on any give3n workday. I have severe problems with finishing off a pint of 80 proof within two days. I also have problems in NOT having a few beers to get the "earworms" out of my head so I can sleep
.the only time I will drink that much is when I have a weekend off and a reason to celebrate(3-4 times a year?). I have no other meds available yet unless I hit the streets and i'm not that kind of person(ality).
I just hope I can find a doctor who can understand when things get stressful for me all the "coping "i've learned abandons me at the front door
.
I'thankful I have some good friends who accep me as I am
.
My name is Joyce and I'm an alcoholic. By the grace of God and the fellowship of AA, I have 9 months sober.
That said, I agree with Kidd....if you can't be around other people drinking, then you ain't recovered. Sobriety is all about understanding that you can't change anyone but yourself, and even for that, you need to call on something greater than yourself.
If someone knows you are trying not to drink, and repeatedly offers you a drink, or tries to convince you to drink (as in "Just have one! It won't hurt you!", or "You're not an alcoholic!") Then there are a lot more reasons to stay away from that person besides the fact that they drink. Even if they believe what they are saying, they are not respecting your choice, or your right to do what you feel is best for you.
P.S. And David? AHA!!! Ritalin LA!!! The sleeper awakens!!!!
 I knew I was an alcoholic when...
... I'd drink beer for breakfast for the carbohydrates (it was like cereal).
I knew I was an ADHD alcoholic when...
I'd buy beer when I bought gas, then forget it in the car and it would get warm and I wouldn't drink it...
Edited: PM'd the person instead.
Auntie38580.3886689815[QUOTE=Auntie]Edited: PM'd the person instead.
[/QUOTE]
Forum: ADHD Adult
Topic: question for alcoholics
Posted By: Auntie
[QUOTE=KIDD_ROCK4444]
In fact, I get indian when people try to shield me from temptation. [/QUOTE]
Everyone knows I read everything on this forum and comment when I deem fit. Kidd, that comment was totally uncalled for and insulting.
If you have an alcoholic spouse I think, out of consideration, you should not drink regardless if ADHD or not. Why tempt fate?
Your attack on me for my comment...about myself...is partialy uncalled for and totally eclipsed by truth in the face of what you deem fit. There is a principal which acts as a bar to learning, and can never fail to keep a person in everlasting ignorance. That principal is contempt prior to investigation.
My ex went to AA i didn"t end discussion