Little Zoloft Guy--Satirical News | ADHD Information

Very funny  

I always think those commercials with the Zoloft guy are so stupid - Oh look! Now I'm all happy and everything is great now that I'm on Zoloft! (Zoloft guy smiling and jumping around).

(I hope this will be taken in the tongue-in-cheek way that it is intended)

ZOLOFT GUY ATTEMPTS SUICIDE

SCRANTON, PA (ML)—The Zoloft Guy was checked into an area hospital after attempting to take his own life. Family and friends said they had known for some time that he was suffering from depression, but had expected him to “snap out of it.”

“I was shocked to learn how desperate he was,” said his close friend, Yellow Smiley Face Guy “I always remind him, ‘God Loves You, Zoloft Guy,” and wish him to have a nice day. But I guess the message just never really sank in as I had hoped.”

One family member conjectured that Zoloft Guy might have been distraught over an acting career that seemed to be going nowhere. “I know that he auditioned for at least two recent animated films, Shrek II and Pocahontas, but he didn’t get the parts. He told me that he was bored and felt ‘underemployed’ doing the Zoloft commercials, because they don’t even give him any lines. He has a marvelous speaking voice, by the way.”

But a spokesman for the family said that Zoloft Guy had left a note, which read: “Dear Everybody, For a long time I have been suffering with side effects of nausea, vomiting, diarrhea alternating with constipation, body tics, sexual dysfunction, dry mouth, weight increase and myalgia. I just can’t take it anymore. Signed, Zoloft Guy.”

Doctors attending Zoloft Guy said that he is in stable condition, and they expect a full recovery after pumping his stomach. The globular actor had taken an overdose of anti-depressants.

MuDdLe38552.4202546296