If there was a cure, would you? | ADHD Information
If I wished my ADD away, who would I be? Let's see... I've been on a gameshow and won -- and I credit my wandering mind and constantly
changing interests. I just started painting last year (at age 48) and yes, I
think about making art when I should be focusing on my job. It's become
a true passion (at least for now!), and my paintings are pretty good. I can
play anything on piano by ear. I'm more intense about my opinions than
most people -- that's my ADD volatility. But I can talk to anybody about
anything. I have had articles published on everything from Islam to
cancer care. I play tournament level Scrabble and am in the top ten in my
state -- hey, that hyperfocus comes in handy sometimes! I've set out on
trips with no planning and no notice -- there's that ADD impulsivity, but
I've seen amazing places. I'm not sugar-coating my life. My career has
suffered. It's hell to me to do the same job for days on end, and I am
forever on the edge of being fired. My relationships are difficult, and I'm
an inconsistent parent. I don't write anymore, because the deadlines
cause me such agony. But if wishes could come true, I would wish to
better manage my ADD -- not to crush it like some ugly bug. I don't
think I'd give it up, because then I'd be giving up me.
I don't know if I'd want the cure or not. I mean, I've had ADD all my life even though I wasn't diagnosed until recently. It's a part of who I am. My family, friends and coworkers know the ADD me. I don't know if they'd like me if I was cured.
On the other hand, it does get very frustrating at times to not be able to complete something or sort out the thousands of thoughts that seem to be careening around in my head. I also know that I've let people down because of my inability to see things through to the end, which makes me feel guilty.
Obviously, I don't know what I'd want.
[QUOTE=Wordwoman]If I wished my ADD away, who would I be? Let's see... [/QUOTE] <<Wonderful life snipped for brevity :) LOL >>
Yes, I hear that a lot. "If I never had ADD my life would have been droll droll oh so droll". Are you THAT sure of it??
ADHD doesn't form our core personality, our IQ or other major traits. What it DOES do by definition is cause our lives to be hindered majorly in several key areas - varying person to person.
Would you have been less creative if you had not been blurting out things to people you really should have kept to yourself?? I don't think so!
Would you have been less likely to have used your IQ to win at that game show?? Perhaps if it was a question/answer type (Jeapordy perhaps) - you may have remembered more facts and done even better!
All my point is is that ADHD by it's nature is a life wrecker. It doesn't make you happy or outgoing or spontaneous. It tends to make you regret your words, your actions, your leaving the cupboard door open at eye level again and again (or is that just me? LOL)
I hate to be devil's advocate (LIE I LOVE it! LOL) but that's what I think is at the core of this question. If you had never SUFFERED with a brain changing neurochemical imbalance - would you have been better off?? I mean - even schizophrenics are known to be highly imaginative, often insightful, extremely emotion driven and can be found to be the most creative thinkers and artists (beautiful mind comes to the top for me). But I bet if they could have been offered some true cure for it they would jump at the chance considering the alternative is the routine of what they must endure.
That's all I'm saying. If ADHD was all sunshine and Lolipops I strongly doubt that anyone of us would be searching around for amphetamines, hypoallergenic diets, heavy-duty psychotherapy and the like.
I could be wrong - wouldn't be the first time.
Ok - flaming hot nasty comments to me on the left ------ supportive but small crowd of yea sayers on the right and the spectators lookin' to see my guts on the floor just stay outside the circle. Remember - anyone in the front row should probably dress accordingly.
(( end rant ))
Have a beeeeeuuuutiful day !!!!!!!!!!!!!
[quote=GlenW]I think we've lived with it so long that it becomes tangled in what we see as us. I don't think any of us cured would be less creative, loving, hopeful, communicative or any of the wonderful things we are. I would think we'd be more likely to stick out our necks and try making friends and trying unusual things if we knew that trying them wasn't a nearly 100% likely train wreck. Dont' you?[/quote]
Glen, in my case, I've never had a problem sticking my neck out and trying to make friends, in fact, I may have tried too hard. Know what I mean? Were I to be 'cured' of AD/HD, I would be afraid I wouldn't have the outgoing personality I have now, albeit a little too aggressive and compulsive at times.
I would just hope that the positive things about me, perhaps without being so aggressive, would remain. But most importantly, I wonder -- would I have the ability to communicate more effectively? Would I have no problem with my brain and mouth working together, which seems to be one of the most common afflictions of so many of us with AD/HD. The thing that gets me into the most trouble, the one that causes others to most misinterpret / misunderstand me. Do 'normal' people have such a difficult time being interpreted?
Also, would our short-term memory be improved? Oh, how I wish even had a short-term memory!
Yet, visualiztion...visualizing just about everything...is something a counselor once told me is very prevalent to AD/HDers...would I lose that ability? I enjoy my ability to visualize when talking, listening, whatever.
GypsyWomyn38553.6036226852There's no part of us that "is not the good part." The goddess doesn't
make junk.
[QUOTE=murried2]
I don't know if I'd want the cure or not. I mean, I've had ADD all my life even though I wasn't diagnosed until recently. It's a part of who I am. My family, friends and coworkers know the ADD me. I don't know if they'd like me if I was cured.
[/QUOTE]
Of COURSE they would!!
The part of you that is ADHD is not the good part. It is the part that causes your energetic, life-loving parts to sabotage themselves. I think we tend to have trouble filtering what is "us" and what is the disorder we have.
I think we've lived with it so long that it becomes tangled in what we see as us. I don't think any of us cured would be less creative, loving, hopeful, communicative or any of the wonderful things we are. I would think we'd be more likely to stick out our necks and try making friends and trying unusual things if we knew that trying them wasn't a nearly 100% likely train wreck. Dont' you?
I think we'd still love, live and work the same way - just with direction and the knowledge that our brain, hands and feet, and heart could now be trusted to do what we feel they either should do or have done in the past.
That's what I'd imagine it would be like for me anyways. Keep the dialogue humming - I'm very interested in hearing all sides of this. It's getting interesting and is certainly food for thought!
[QUOTE=murried2]I don't know if I'd want the cure or not. I mean, I've had ADD all my life even though I wasn't diagnosed until recently. It's a part of who I am. My family, friends and coworkers know the ADD me. I don't know if they'd like me if I was cured.
On the other hand, it does get very frustrating at times to not be able to complete something or sort out the thousands of thoughts that seem to be careening around in my head. I also know that I've let people down because of my inability to see things through to the end, which makes me feel guilty.
Obviously, I don't know what I'd want.[/QUOTE]
The friends I could have had, co-workers, and even some family members have NOT liked the ADHD me. They have occasionally seen the 'real' me...the me who is more likable and tolerable, so they've said. I know ADHD symptoms have made it difficult for me to be viewed as I view myself, a likeable, compassionate, intelligent person. So the frustration of not being understood, especially when I'm attempting to communicate with others, is something I certainly could live without.
So I'm assuming if I was 'cured,' I would still have the favorable, positive aspects of my personality...I would certainly hope anyway.GypsyWomyn38553.5730439815
[QUOTE=GypsyWomyn]Something just occurred to me. Before I began meeting you wonderful people on this board, I cared for very few of the 'normal' people I've met and have very few 'friends'...and even they very often misunderstand me. [/Quote]
Yes, that's my case too. I had maybe one friend at a time growing up. I always thought of them as quite rare and special - the one person around who could tolerate the many things other's tended to dislike about me.
[QUOTE=GypsyWomyn] Glen, in my case, I've never had a problem sticking my neck out and trying to make friends, in fact, I may have tried too hard. Know what I mean? Were I to be 'cured' of AD/HD, I would be afraid I wouldn't have the outgoing personality I have now, albeit a little too aggressive and compulsive at times. [/Quote]
Now see - this is an experience I've been told about by many ADD'ers on forums here and there that is dissimilar to my experiences. I have tended to be guarded - knowing that if I let go of my caution I'll just end up being "blurtatious" - and say something I'll regret until I forget it. If I had naturally the ability to make friends and stick out my neck and try new things then maybe I'd think about this topic as you do. As it is I find that now that I'm on meds and clear headed I try new things and strike up conversations with all sorts of people - against my previous nature.
[Quote=GypsyWomyn]
I would just hope that the positive things about me, perhaps without being so aggressive, would remain. But most importantly, I wonder -- would I have the ability to communicate more effectively? Would I have no problem with my brain and mouth working together, which seems to be one of the most common afflictions of so many of us with AD/HD. The thing that gets me into the most trouble, the one that causes others to most misinterpret / misunderstand me. Do 'normal' people have such a difficult time being interpreted?
Also, would our short-term memory be improved? Oh, how I wish even had a short-term memory!
[/QUOTE]
Wow - all of your posting is just sooo good I hesitated clipping too much or I'd be zipping back to read it over and over 
I would think a permanent cure would be similar to the effects I feel on meds. If so - then yes - you would continue to be an outgoing, possibly aggressive (I kind of like being sometimes aggressive - I shock myself sometimes as I get what I feel is right done LOL), and communicative person. I communicate so much better now that my memory is clear (yes, contrary to me in the past I find I have nearly total recall of events past and present most times) and I know that my words are mine and not a misplaced or jumbled combination. I now say what I mean and mean what I say.
And YES - misinterpretation is SO ADD!! I seem to always say something that gets turned around (in my mind anyway) so it offends when not meant to, compliments when meant to be cynical, etc. I still find that sometimes (read my posts and you'll probably get mixed signals other than my intent LOL) my words come out either totally wrong or the emphasis is put in the wrong areas. It's so much better than pre-med though.
I find that right now I feel almost human. I'd say the meds get me about 70 percent normal and therapy gets me another 15 percent. I'll settle for that barring any new stuff that can be a permanent cure. 85 percent when you think about it is pretty damn good.
Again - man that was a well worded post!!! I really like a good debate with people who bring up good ideas. Well done!
[QUOTE=Wordwoman]I didn't say anything about choosing to stay as I am. I choose to grow
and change. I don't need to hate the "bad" part of me to do that, though.
Self-acceptance is not incompatible with growth. [/QUOTE]
oops! Okay - for the record This is what I meant by coming off wrong. I'm assuming this is in response to above by me so I'll go with that. Someone stop me if I'm wrong k?
By "staying" you can define my thought on that as "keeping the ADD rather than altering ones' self by removing it and potentially changing you personally in ways you would prefer not". Too wordy LOL.
Ok - yes agreed wholeheartedly. Self-acceptance is not incompatible with growth. I don't think anyone - myself included means to self-flog here - making it seem as if we loathe what we are/were. I have lots of regrets and I wish I didn't but oh well. But I do recall times where I could be pretty good. Just wish I could have picked when is all.
I think the real question here should end up - If I could take away the parts of ADD that cause me pain and regret - even if it changed part of who I am in some way - would I make that change in order to make the other parts of my life better? It's so hard this question. Noone wants to alter themselves into what the anti-med people claim is a robot - an uncreative drone who's whole existence is relegated to menial labour, terse unemotional conversations and fairly emotionless existence. I hear that argument about meds a lot and it seems mostly to come from well-meaning but uneducated in ADD people.
However, I think that if we worded it so that it was like a surgical procedure it may be different. I almost think of the analogy of say - a tumor on the brain. If it caused your emotions and thought to change, some good some bad - and they told you they could cut it out with precision and leave you whole but without the bad AND good changes intact, would you then say go ahead? This of course would assume the tumor won't kill you if you leave it in - just mess up parts of your life. Would the answer be different?
I truly am enjoying the discussion. I am seeing some differing - and similar points on this and it is giving much food for thought for me.
Carry on folks!
[QUOTE=Wordwoman]There's no part of us that "is not the good part." The goddess doesn't make junk. [/QUOTE]
See - I've been thinking about something that seems interesting at least to me at the moment.
I see that a lot of people on this and other forums have some bond with something or someone outside themselves. I, on the other hand, do not.
I have been an atheist (not agnostic - big difference for sure) since I was 6 years old. I assume from my recollections these days that it was a pre-ADD thought/decision as it seems to be to me.
Maybe it is harder to separate us and ADD into logical cells if we see things as connected in some invisible, cohesive way. I can't see it like that so maybe that's why I see ADD as nothing more than something like a tumor - cut it out and be free!
I like to think of myself as a liberal - a "free thinker". So I ponder the connections that many have to the unseen and unknown.
I can see under this context how many would choose to stay as they are rather than "cure" something that is not altogether a bad thing to them. To many I'm sure it has enriched their lives to think is the ADD way. It may give insight to things many don't understand. It's something I can't fathom myself but am willing to contemplate.
Also, please before I end this note that this is NOT a dig against those of you with beliefs I do not have!!! I have great respect for all thoughts and beliefs and have always believed that there is more than one way to look at anything.
Just thought I'd best add that before I end up relegated to some outpost of the forums for everyone's sake! LOL
Food for thought - thought is always a hungry young'un
Hi GarbagePail,
Take a cure? In a heartbeat!
ADD did not cause my creativity (in my case music), but it did stop me from being able to pursue it as my fulltime career. My inability to complete what I start and to do the hard stuff (intense scale memorization, appropriate networking and social behavior, etc.) caused me to not quite make it.
I think many people on this board often chuckle and make light of our symptoms. I don't think that means we like them. For me, it is just so sad that I have to laugh to get through it.
I didn't say anything about choosing to stay as I am. I choose to grow
and change. I don't need to hate the "bad" part of me to do that, though.
Self-acceptance is not incompatible with growth.
[QUOTE=GypsyWomyn]Well, good heavens, who wouldn't want to be able to remove the things about themselves they don't like, yet keep the things we do like? Duh! Especially since this is all hypothetical.[/QUOTE]
hehe little cynic in your coffee? LOL
Yes indeed who wouldn't want that?
I guess even thinking of the thought of removing something we've all lived with our whole lives is a big thing to wrap one's head around. Good chewing gum for the brain I'd think though.
Well, good heavens, who wouldn't want to be able to remove the things about themselves they don't like, yet keep the things we do like? Duh! Especially since this is all hypothetical.GypsyWomyn38553.7307291667Now that I know that I have ADD and I can manage it - I wouldn't give it up.
I'd vote for that test run for sure, and perhaps the cure. Very tired of myself today, or the house that I can't seem to manage. VERY!
Maybe I'm just being a fool, but I'd really like this ADD thing to work out for me somehow.I agree with Floof on that one. I hate the fact I can't do things I want to accomplish that normal people do, but it would extremely limit my individuality. One HUGE example of this, would be in the instance that I can enjoy myself being out in public being silly & having fun, such as a dance club. My friends would always need alcohol. I don't drink. It's just that the people without ADD seem hindered by normalcy. It's that impulsiveness that allows us to try new ideas and become diverse individuals unlike the rest of the world. I have some degree of control over my impulsiveness, albeit VERY difficult, so I never do anything really dangerous. But I am not afraid to take risks in life sometimes.Hmm . . . I'm kind of torn on this one.
Some people think it would be fun to be some sort of "creative misunderstood genius". I never did. I always just wanted to blend in with the other kids, to be accepted socially. Even though I was smart, other kids always thought I was stupid because I'd blurt out the wrong things, or wouldn't pay attention to the conversation and say something completely off-topic.
My ADHD caused me a lot of pain and frustration in my childhood. Of course now I can see that it's not all bad, and realize that I think of a lot of creative, unusual things that other people don't.
If you could test run this "cure" for ADHD for a few months, I'd do it just to see what it was like. But if it was permanent, then NO WAY.
I wonder what Einstein would say if you asked him this question?
Hmmm....I'm not sure. I had a very difficult childhood, not being accepted by my peers...being down right disliked, in fact...well into adulthood. Yet, I've done some pretty interesting things, met interesting people and lived in interesting places (moved a lot on my own), which I most likely would not have done were I not ADHD. And also managed to make a few good, long-term friends who have accepted me just the way I am, which is more than some 'normal' people can truly say.I think I may have liked my life better without the impulsiveness to blurt things out, w/o not giving people their space...to have had better communication skills especially ... to have not lost so many jobs. Dunno. However, I would not have had such an "interesting" life if I were still in one job or not so impulsive...never having moved around as I have. And since I have discovered my having ADHD, I am now able to work on the negative aspects of ADHD I have and keep the good aspects. And that seems a pretty fair balance to me.
Dunno. Ask me again if I ever get out of this nightmare job.
A few years ago, maybe I would have agreed with floof. I understand where he is coming from.
But since I have been on my own, and no longer sheltered in my parents house, I have been evicted and had 2 vehicles reposses.
If I had to trade all my talents in along with my ad/hd for "averageness" and the ability to pay my rent on time, I would.
I'd say YES. Tired of all the spinning thoughts in my head and being frustrated.I have had some very rough times, and I continue to even now. But I really like myself the way I am. I've done a little bit of alot of things, and I know how many different things are connected. I don't need a cure. Normalcy has no appeal to me, other than it would be easier to do certain things that my ADD self would like to do, but if I was normal, I wouldn't want to do them in the first place. I must say I would never accept such a 'cure'.Lots of folks on this board berate normalcy, and speak like it's really great fun to be absentminded or fidgety..People here talk about how ADHD makes them more intelligent or creative than the average, med-less joe, while others are less sure....
If there was a cure, would you take it? Why, why not?
DAMN RIGHT I WOULD!!!
All I've ever wished for - even as a child was to blend in and just be one of the people I see. Never wanted to be special, or something or someone that stuck out good or bad.
If tomorrow there was a cure - even if it had some side effects that were undesirable I'd have to say I'd take it right away. There's nothing better to me than as I get better these days and nobody notices me because I've done nothing foolish, or clumsy, or inappropriate! Awesome life I'd think!